Speak to me
by moonlit-shadow0x
Summary: Complete! Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. Slash HPDM
1. Something Unusual

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **This is my attempt at a new fic. It's another sensitive one. The idea has been written many times, I know, but I really like it and want to try it out! I'll try and add my own twist to it, of course, and I'll see what I can do form there. I'll also try to make it a little less angsty then the other one. I hope you guys enjoy this one! I'll try my best with it.

**Chapter One: **Something Unusual

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Draco Malfoy pushed open the doors of the Great Hall noisily but gracefully. After scanning the room, he smirked and walked over to the Slytherin table his hands swinging proudly at his sides.

"Morning, Pansy." He said, grabbing a roll from across the table.

Pansy looked up, her brown eyes darting from the roll to his face. "Draco." She replied after chewing what looked like a bagel.

There was a small pause before Draco picked up his fork and began devouring his eggs. Until of course, the silence was unbearable. Finally, he rolled his eyes and looked Pansy straight in the eye. "What?" He asked, exasperatedly, his face leaking with boredom.

Pansy gave a small sigh before buttering the other half of her bagel. "Draco, haven't you noticed?" She asked, shaking her head in a motherly way.

Draco raised a perfect eyebrow at her then flicked back a strand of whitish-blonde hair that was grazing dangerously close to his eye. "Obviously not." He said irritably.

Tracy Davis, a dear friend of Pansy and long time admirer of Draco, joined the conversation enthusiastically. "Draco! I thought you'd be the first one to know!" She chirped happily.

Draco dropped his fork then crossed his arms. "Know what exactly?" He asked, his demanding Malfoy tone surfacing.

"Please, Draco." Piped another voice, immediately recognised as Blaise Zabini. He was smirking that devious smirk again and Draco arched his eyebrows. What exactly didn't he know?

It wasn't long before he got his answer, as a very small sound at the doors caught everyone's attention. Harry Potter was standing in between both, a silence following his arrival.

Two silver eyes skimmed across the figure that was unmistakably Harry Potter. Though, he wasn't healthy and glowing. His form was lanky, his eyes sunk into two deep black pools. His mouth was a grim line and his eyes? Draco almost shuddered looking into them. They were dead. Completely dead. It seemed no emotions flew through them, that they were just holes in his face where eyes should have been.

But yet, it was still Harry Potter. For, his scar was still there, shining bright as ever.

He limped over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, as if his arrival was no big deal. But, of course it was. For almost two months now, Harry Potter had been in St. Mungos, healing extremely painful injuries. For almost two months now, Harry Potter had been stored away at Grimmauld Place to rest.

No one had even mentioned the name Harry Potter for two months.

It was ten minutes before the gossip started and Draco couldn't help noticing the untouched food on Harry's plate. Couldn't help noticing the stillness of his posture. Couldn't help noticing something was incredibly wrong with the boy.

Potions with Snape was the first class that morning, with Gryffindors. Draco was feeling very curious as to Harry's condition. Exactly one year ago, November of his sixth year, Draco remembered the starting attack of the war.

It had taken almost an entire year for the war to finish. Draco had fought for the light, considering his father was dead and his mother missing. It didn't mean he liked the people he fought with. It was that he wanted revenge for his father's death.

Harry was gone for two months after the war; emotional problems along with physical problems are what Draco assumed. Most likely boy was insane now. Much to Draco's dismay. In his opinion, having Harry to torment was like having icing on a cake. Not necessary but made life all the more worthwhile.

The walk to potions was slow and very boring. Pansy was chatting with Millicent about god only knows and Blaise and Theodore were arguing over some Quidditch scores. All in all, nothing concerned Draco so Draco didn't listen to a word.

When they reached the cool, damp air from the dungeons, Draco felt a small smile fall on his lips. The dungeons were indeed dark and mucky, but very welcoming as well. It was nice to get out of the stuffiness of the classrooms upstairs and to be here, small breezes coming from nowhere and just lightly trimming your flesh.

"What do you think Draco?" Chorused a sound from Blaise and Theodore who then looked at each other in annoyance.

"About what?" He found himself asking, though he didn't care at all.

"Do you think the Chudley Cannons are going to win that huge match against that new American team?" Theodore asked, his eyebrows arched as if silently telling Draco to agree with him.

"Do you think I care the slightest about those orange idiots, Theodore?" He asked smoothly, his face showing the least bit of anger but still managing to stay calm and collective.

Blaise frowned. "Yeah, Theodore!" He said in a triumphant tone. "They're idiots, they wouldn't be able to catch the snitch if it was as slow as a flobberworm."

Theodore was about to reply when Draco interrupted. "Speaking of orange idiots." He muttered, catching a glimpse of fiery hair.

Ronald Weasley was escorting Harry and Hermione to class when Draco strode up to them gracefully, his hand leaning on the wall across from him to block Ron's escape.

"So Weasel?" Said Draco examining the perfectly manicured nails of his free hand.

Ron didn't say anything, quite to Draco's surprise. He only turned around and muttered something to his bushy haired friend who just rolled her eyes. Draco, at this point, had his eyebrows arched and his brain swimming with confusion.

That was when he noticed Harry. Seeing Harry close up was different then seeing him from far away. It was as if the little Gryffindor had lost his soul. His eyes were empty dark green and his mouth slightly open, breathing.

"Potter." He muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Harry only creased his eyebrows together and leaned his face in, examining Draco. He then turned to Ron and Hermione in a silent plea to answer his question of who the hell Draco was.

Hermione gave Harry a sympathetic look before shaking her head and leading him away. Ron, however, stayed. He shot a glance at Draco before squaring his shoulders.

"Don't try anything, Malfoy." Was all he said before turning around to follow his fellow Gryffindors.

Draco stood stunned for a minute before regaining his posture and brushing off his spotless robes. His silver eyes then found the door to Snape's potions room, which he quickly disappeared behind.

Harry sat in his usual place, though it looked like he didn't know at all where he was. He was just staring out the window, his eyes growing large every few minutes as if he had just seen the most amazing thing in the world.

The most shocking thing though, was the fact that Snape was being almost kind towards the boy. Instead of partnering him up with Crabbe or Draco like he usually did, he allowed the boy to partner with Hermione.

Also, when Hermione was making the potion, Harry was staring out the window again. Paying the least amount of attention, his eyes just swaying back and forth beneath his glasses as if hew as a loon. Which, Draco assumed, he now probably was.

Then, as if he didn't even know who Hermione was, he jerked away when she touched him. Slowly his eyes widened again and he stood up from the chair, backing away from the girl, his hands up as if trying to defend himself. It was only ten minutes into the class when he ran out of the Potions room, his face worried as if something terrible was happening to him. Snape let him go, and Draco was sure he knew why.

It was obvious. Potter was insane.

--

Lunch came quite quickly, as in Herbology the class watched animations of how to correctly cut the roots of a Poplar Tree and Draco was doing his Charms homework through most of it. As for Charms? It was just as useless.

Draco's fork stabbed viciously at a piece of his chicken before it landed mercilessly into his mouth.

It had been a very confusing morning, and Draco didn't like being confused. He also didn't like the dull thudding at the back of his head.

"Draco, could you pass me—"

"No." Draco hissed, his eyes narrowed at Theodore who was leaning back in his chair as if to get away from the angered boy.

"All right then." He said after reaching across a large bowl of pudding, which his tie was soon drenched in.

Ignoring Theodore's foul language, Draco turned his head to stare at the staff table. Many teachers were gone because of the war. Only Professor Snape, Professor Trelawney and Professor Flitwick were the ones he recognised. Of course, Dumbledore was still there, but his face wasn't as cheery as it normally was. In fact, he looked almost depressed.

That surely wasn't a good sign.

Absent-mindedly, his head turned to stare at Harry. He was so used to catching those emerald eyes and finding that usual flicker of distaste in them. It was unusual to find Harry seated, staring at his food as if it were poison, his eyebrows furrowed and his fork clutched tightly in his hand.

It was also unusual to see Hermione stealing glances at him, as if making sure he didn't try anything. Her chocolate brown eyes flickering towards him and her lips moving every so often, soothing him with her words.

The only usual thing was the small amount of Gryffindors at the table. Many of Harry's friends had died in the war, and others were too scared to ever set foot outside their homes. And really, as Draco thought about it, he realised Harry must have been quite brave to set foot back in school to face the death of all his friends.

That was when Harry fell. Just fell off the bench. Hermione gasped and hurried to pick him up and Ron was crawling underneath the table to get to the other side. They both took Harry, who was now unconscious, from the hall and everyone continued to eat, as if nothing happened. Like they weren't allowed to talk about it.

"... Fucking pudding!" Theodore ended, his tie now clean thanks to a simple cleaning charm.

Draco turned his head back and rolled his eyes. Of course the Slytherins didn't care about what happened to their little saviour. Pansy was laughing, that annoying high-pitched hyena laugh of hers, and Blaise starting on _another_ plate of food. At least the other tables had enough pity to at least stay silent.

The silver-haired, quite angry boy stood up and shot his friends a deadly glance. "Morons." He spat his whitish locks falling over his eyes and skimming across them as he shook his head.

He rolled his eyes at the surprised looks of his fellow peers and then elegantly strode out the Great Hall doors, desperately needing to be away from the insensitive jerks he called friends.

He wasn't one to kick the already injured. He had at least some fragment of a heart.

It was when he heard insane sobbing that he turned around. Hermione and Ron were huddled around a weeping figure, which was immediately recognised as Harry Potter.

Draco turned back around and walked to the dungeons as fast as his legs would take him.

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**Authors Notes: **Hmm, It took a while for me to decide if I wanted to actually post this. I'm not sure if it's as good as I hoped it would be, but after reading over it a couple of times I decided it would be fun to continue it, even though it was a little...weird. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! It's a pretty angsty fic, in my opinion. There wont be any tragedy though!

_**-Shadow **_


	2. Unknown Reasons

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Thanks to anyone who reviewed. Draco being out of character? I know, that's a bit true. But it's as in character as I can get him! Sorry! Also, I know the war was short, but I wanted them to be back at school so a year was as long as I could do it. Anyway if you have any questions just ask!

**Chapter Two: **Unknown Reasons

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The image of the broken boy stayed with Draco even when he reached his dormitory. He couldn't help feel a pang of pity and anger towards him. Pity for being so helpless and confused but angry that he allowed himself to go crazy. Draco used to have a certain envious respect for the boy.

Draco fell onto his bed with an exhausted sigh. His mind kept wandering away from him, only to start thinking about Harry once more. Surely they were gone from the hallways now, probably to the infirmary to check up him.

Closing the door behind him, Draco started down the stairs. He had arithmacy and Transfiguration to look forward to, and those wouldn't go to well if he kept thinking of the dark things that probably happened to Harry during the war.

His own war days were quite horrible as well. He had shed lots of blood and almost died in the hands of his dear old Uncle. What could Harry possibly have gone through that made him crack?

His thoughts were interrupted when he passed the infirmary. A dull ache in his head returned as he studied the door curiously. Hermione and Ron were probably at classes right now, and it wasn't like Harry would have remembered him anyway. Even if he did, he was in no condition to wonder what Draco was doing there.

Draco's hand rested on the doorknob, wondering if he should actually turn it. If he did, he would see Harry in the worst state ever and if he didn't his curiosity would torment him for the rest of his day.

Suddenly, the door opened, chasing away Draco from the remaining thoughts in his head. Madam Promfrey stood at the door, her eyebrows arched and her hand resting on the doorknob opposite of Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy?" She asked in a demanding tone.

Draco looked up at her, his face blank and bored. "Promfrey." He said, his voice low but urgent all the same.

"Can I help you?"

Draco thought for a minute then shrugged. "No, just came to rest. I'm not feeling very well and decided to skip my afternoon classes. You know what happened last time." He drawled, his eyebrows rising slightly.

Madam Promfrey's eyes narrowed and she nodded. "Of course, you can take any vacant bed. I'll be back to check on you in twenty minutes. I have some business with the headmaster to attend to." She said hurriedly before disappearing behind a corner.

Draco watched her go and then turned around to face the room that was filled with beds. Only one was occupied, the occupant being Harry. His black messy hair stuck out from under the covers and landed on the pillow beneath him. Draco creased his eyebrows together, wondering if he should step inside.

The floor was cold on his bare feet when he slipped inside the room and took off his shoes. He sat on the empty bed to Harry's right and stared more closely at the boy. Only the top of his forehead was showing, his blankets pulled up over his eyes.

He wondered what he even came here to see. He licked his lips before his eyes caught a glimpse of his own pyjamas. If he was going to be here for the remainder of the afternoon he might as well get comfortable.

He pulled on the white cotton, blue-stripped, bottoms and sighed. They were extremely soft on his silky skin. The white nightshirt that was lying right next to them soon followed. Draco sat on the edge of his bed and crossed his arms, staring at the unconscious boy in front of him.

That's when he stretched his right arm and removed the blankets from Harry's face. He frowned as he stared at the sleeping form, breath slowly being exhaled from small, parted, dry lips. Draco's fingers lingered at Harry's chin, his other hand leaning on his own bed.

Harry began to stir and Draco sat back in his bed, watching the troubled features of the boys face. Slowly eyelids revealed tired eyes and a hand started to rub them furiously.

Dark hair slowly slipped from under the covers as he began to get up in a sitting position. The hands that were rubbing his face stopped and his eyes began to scan the room, as if wondering where he was. A large yawn escaped the boy when his eyes landed on Draco. A flicker of emotion went through his large dead eyes, remembering seeing the boy earlier that day.

Slowly eyebrows furrowed together and Harry's face leaned in to study Draco again. Draco couldn't help wondering if he did that to everyone he saw. Slowly Harry cocked his head to one side then turned his head to his left, as if there was someone on that bed as well.

"No one's there, Potter." Draco heard himself say, hoping that Harry wasn't seeing things.

Harry kept his head away from Draco for a little while longer before turning back and staring at Draco with his lifeless eyes. His thin arm slowly lifted up to flick away hairs that were getting into his eyes. It was then Draco noticed he had no glasses on.

His hand went to the nightstand and he gripped them, his mind flooding with confusion. What exactly was he doing here, why did he even come? Draco sighed and held out Harry's glasses.

Harry stared at them like they were something foreign to him. His own hand stretched out right below Draco's and Draco dropped the glasses into his palm. He then put them back on the nightstand, as if he didn't know what else to do.

Draco gave a tired sigh before grabbing the glasses again and looking Harry in the eye. He stared for a minute before opening them and reaching over to put them onto Harry's nose.

Harry's eyes immediately widened, like Draco had seen him do in the potions class, before turning his head around again, looking at the room with his new found vision.

Draco watched him with sudden interest and leaned on his own bed. Harry was looking around frantically, his eyes getting wider by the second. Draco frowned and stood up, walking towards the other boy.

"What is it?" He asked, his words demanding but his tone soft.

Harry kept looking around, either ignoring Draco or not understanding him. Suddenly another flicker of emotion went through his otherwise empty eyes. Draco assumed he remembered being the infirmary before.

A few minutes later, Harry was in his bed again, watching the ceiling with newfound interest. Draco was on his bed as well, waiting for the return of Madam Promfrey.

A choking sound made Draco cringe. He didn't dare turn his head. Promfrey returned just as Harry's sobs became loud, heart-drenching wails. Draco lay turned away from them, pretending to sleep.

Pretending he didn't care.

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**Authors Notes: **This chapter was harder to write. If you're wondering what exactly is wrong with Harry, I made it so that he's too afraid to talk to anyone, he's forgotten everything except a few bad memories from the war and whenever he remembers them he starts crying. In other words, I've tried to make him sound like he's gone crazy. I don't know if it's working, but if it is then I hope I cleared it up for you! Thanks for reading!

_**-Shadow**_

P.S Is it Promfrey or Promphrey? My books are downstairs and I'm known to be lazy.


	3. Missing Answers

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Thanks to anyone who reviewed. This chapter will be from Harry's eyes, just so you get to warm up to his character a little bit more. Also, it will explain a bit of what happened to him during the war. The real Draco/Harry action wont happen for a little bit, I think, because right now Harry isn't really even in the state for a friendly relationship. Plush, Draco is confusing himself with the weird sense of care he's feeling towards Harry. Anyway, thanks again for reviewing!

Oh, and I'm really sorry. This somehow just turned very angsty. Agh, I have a habit.

**Chapter Three: **Missing Answers

_Cold. That's all he could feel. _

_His breath flared out of his mouth in large clouds and his teeth chattered behind his frosted, almost blue lips. There wasn't anyone with him. Four walls surrounded him as if he were in a cage._

_He felt like he was just about to pass out from the swivelling of his head. The air was much too cold and the pain of his frozen limbs seemed to grow worse and worse as each long minute passed him by._

_That was when a cold voice reached his ears. That was probably how the room got so cold in the first place, the coldness of his voice. It chilled his skin to his very bones, which were slowly starting to grow numb. Each and every one of them._

"_If it isn't Harry Potter!" The voice drawled in an amused tone. There was something familiar about the voice, but he couldn't quite catch it. His eyes opened slightly, so that they were two tiny slits, and he scanned the darkness of the blue icy room. There wasn't anyone there and he frowned, trying to concentrate on keeping his mind running and not falling unconscious. _

"_Now, Now. I know you thought you'd defeat me and become the hero everyone expects, but I'm sorry to inform you that you've fallen into a very dangerous predicament. And, Harry, there isn't anyway luck can get you out of this one." The voice continued in the same amused tone. There was a certain dangerous edge to it that made Harry nauseous._

_That's when he realised it. He had fallen into Lord Voldemort's trap. He was going to die._

_There was a low, soft, yet extremely evil, chuckle that filled the room. "Don't worry, Harry. The pain will only last a little while and soon you'll be able to join your parents. Think of this as a favour." Voldemort carried on. _

_Harry took in a sharp breath as two blood red eyes started to come into his view. They were so ugly but yet so hypnotizing. When the eyes were shining brightly, Voldemort stopped, allowing his face to remain in the shadows. _

"_Crucio!" Cried that same, maniacal voice, and soon Harry felt all his bones being twisted and suffered pain he never thought even existed._

--

"Harry?" Cried a soft voice, so soft it felt far away.

He opened his eyes. Surely it was him they were calling... hadn't that same person in his dream called him that? The room was blurry and he frowned. The pain in his body had disappeared and he was left with a dull, very annoying pain in his head.

"He's awake!" Cried the feminine voice again.

Harry found himself staring into clear-blue eyes. He leaned his head in further examining the eyes. Yes, he had seen them before. Actually, he recognised these eyes belonged to the same person with that wild red hair, the same person that was always hanging around him. Ron, yes it was Ron.

The other, who was calling his name, was also someone he recognised. The bushy hair, the large worried brown eyes. Harry squinted and looked away. She was the one that was always crying.

He got up from his sleeping form and sat down cross-legged on the bed. He felt his own sweat sticking him to his clothes and he closed his eyes, remembering the strange image of those red eyes again. Those evil, laughing red eyes.

"He's sweating, he must have a fever!" Cried the one recognised as Ron. The bushy-haired girl nodded and in no less than five minutes he was drenched in large cold cloths.

The coldness brought back the memories of his dream and totally against his will he felt hot tears streaming down his eyes. Soon the memory became more detailed and he could feel the pain in his limbs. He started sobbing like mad, and he was most ashamed.

Lunch that afternoon was as usual. The small population of Gryffindors started on their food silently and the bushy-haired girl kept telling Harry everything would be just fine. That he needn't worry about everyone else, that he should just concentrate on his studies and everything would fall into place in its own. The girl was quite kind, but her words meant nothing considering she herself didn't believe them.

He stared at the food with distaste. Who poured him this much? He could hardly sip water, who on earth thought he could actually eat a plate of food. His eyes scanned the room before he gave up with a sigh, staring at his food like it was there to poison him.

As much as he willed memories to go away, one extremely recent one kept reliving his memory. His face paled as it surfaced in his mind.

_An old, tired-looking wizard lay sprawled in a nasty position on the ground, his legs looked extremely dislocated and his hands draped over his wounded stomach in what looked like unbearable pain._

_"Remus." He said sadly, his hands quivering, taking hold of the old wizards hand._

_The old man just gave a twisted smile and sighed, as if finally finding peace. "I wont truly be gone, Harry, you know that."_

_He felt him squint his eyes with pain. His heart felt heavy with sorrow and his bottom lip shook ever so slightly. "I—I know, Remus. But... But what—"_

_"No buts, Harry." The disfigured wizard said in a demanding, yet cheerful voice. "I'll watch over you, I promise. Sirius, your parents and me. We'll always be with you. Don't forget that, Harry." The voice seemed broken and was growing softer with each word. A large sigh heaved from the body and Harry couldn't help wondering how much pain the poor man was in. "Make us proud, Harry." He whispered, his heavy eyelids finally falling to close passionate, deep amber eyes._

_Harry fell to the floor beside the body and began to weep._

_And that was when Harry fell, fell into unconsciousness._

Harry woke up to those two familiar figures hovering over him. He couldn't help it, he began to cry again. There was that empty hole in his heart and he was sure the death of that poor man was the cause of it. Gradually, the tears turned into horrific wails.

"R-Remus." He said finally, his eyes spilling over with tears, blurring the slightly shocked but mostly sympathetic looks from the two figures looming above him. His own voice sounded foreign to his ears and he choked them out with so much desperation that he wasn't amazed he finally spoke. However, he wished he hadn't. The words were drenched with depression and he swore he'd never speak again, afraid of what other dark emotions would be revealed to these strangers.

It wasn't soon after when the girl and boy that hung around him so often guided him to the infirmary. He stared at the door with distaste. He had been there so many times, more then he would have liked.

He was, however, most grateful to see a large bed in the furthest corner complete with a warm pair of nightclothes. He was quickly led towards it and tucked in his bed by the girl.

Hermione, of course. He remembered now, she had told him a few days ago when he had returned from that unbearable hospital.

'Harry? It's me! Hermione!' He remembered her saying with so much joy.

He couldn't help but push himself into the blankets that Hermione was slowly bringing up towards his shoulders. If only to make the caring girl happy.

It had the desired affect. The girl pet his hair once before turning to the redhead and beginning to cry.

And that's what he fell asleep to. Depressed cries filled with remorse and misery.

--

Soft silky hands made their way to His face and he found himself grudgingly awaking. The hand stayed at his chin for a minute then slowly retreating as he began to stir.

Harry's eyes opened unwillingly and the strong burn of sunlight on his sensitive orbs caused him to rub them furiously, trying to remove the pain. As he continued to rub his eyes, he started to slip from underneath the covers of his bed, starting to lift his upper body into a sitting position.

Slowly his hands stopped rubbing at his face and he looked to his left, scanning the equally comfy-looking bed then moving towards the ceiling then downwards, straight ahead of him.

His eyes closed slightly when he turned to his right, a large yawn playing at his lips. Finally, when his eyes opened he noted a blurry figure that looked very intrigued yet frightened all the same.

Somewhat how he felt.

Slowly he leaned towards the boy, something he found himself absent-mindedly doing every so often, and studied the eyes which he soon made out to be silver.

Silver, so unnatural. Then he remembered he'd seen those eyes before.

Harry tilted his head and curiosity struck him. If someone familiar was on this bed someone as equally as familiar should be on the other side.

He turned his head and stared at the empty cot beside him. No, that couldn't be possible. Where was that bushy-haired girl and that wonderful blue-eyed redhead?

"No one's there, Potter."

The boy on his other side seemed to be talking to someone. Someone named Potter? He kept looking beside him, as if expecting the redhead to just pop out of nowhere. He was feeling very vulnerable here with an almost complete stranger.

That was when he realised there was no one else in the room besides himself. He turned around to face the pale boy. He eyed the whitish hair wonderingly before flicking a strand of his own black thickness to the side of his face.

He watched the boy in front of him with distrust. Slowly a milky hand flew towards his nightstand and lifted up something he made out to be round. The pure hand held them out to him and he stared at them for what seemed an eternity. Finally, he let his palm fall underneath, wondering what was going on.

The round objects were placed into the palm of his hand and he looked at them curiously before deciding it was some sort of game. He picked them up and put them back on the nightstand, waiting for the blonde one to make another move.

A noise of exhaustion filled the room as the silver-eyed boy picked up the glasses once more. His head reached up and he locked eyes with Harry. Then, the round objects were slid onto Harry's nose and suddenly the room became much less blurry.

Amazed, Harry's eyes widened as he looked around the room. Beds, beds and beds. What he didn't notice before was that there were large flowers surrounding his bed and also fresh cloths and towels in a large wheeled table. The place was oddly familiar.

Of course! He had been here so many times, he should have known. The hospital wing. A small ache of regret filled his chest and he realised he must have begun to cry again. This seemed to be everyone's solution.

Locking him up in this insanely large room.

His eyes darted around the room, taking in every detail when something disturbed his examination.

It was that milky-skinned boy again. "What is it?" He asked, his face screwed up in an expression that could have easily been mistaken as concern even though Harry somehow knew it was demanding.

Harry narrowed his eyes a little bit and turned away, continuing to look. There was something he didn't trust about that voice. He'd heard it lots of times before, lots of times. The silver hair, the silver eyes, and the milky skin... it was all familiar in a way.

Silver...White...the images started to remind him of a beautiful snowy white owl. It was flying across beautiful scenery. Forests and then right at the edge a gorgeous lake.

It wasn't long until the memory lost all its bliss and the image turned gruesome like everything else he remembered.

_The owl flew across the lake to reach him, hooting in a distressed way. There was a large gap between them and the owl was hurrying as fast as It's wings could take her._

_"Hedwig!" He cried, stretching his arms out, beckoning the owl towards him._

_The owl gave a long hoot of pain as it flew towards him, it's large eyes drooping slightly. Before he knew it, the owl was falling into the lake, so slowly yet so quickly. He reached for his wand but someone was quicker._

_A spell was screamed through the peaceful scenery and Hedwig was gone._

Hedwig.

It wasn't long before Mrs Promfrey, the nurse, came back and found him screaming, tears furiously flying everywhere.

**Authors Notes: **This is such an angsty fic. I'm sorry, it'll get better. Next chapter will be Draco's Point of view.

**-shadow**

I've decided to reply to your reviews here! Especially since I recognise most of you from 'My Enemy' reviews, and mostly just to say my thanks!

**Note: **These reviews replies are from chapters 1 and 2, so your replies may be mixed together, sorry! Also, thanks to everyone who told me Madam Pomfrey's name. I got one Pomphrey so I'll stick with pomfrey. Thanks though!

**LadyAna: **I know, Harry being fragile is really weird... It's also, in my opinion, really hard. Thanks for the compliments, and I know, I do have a kind of fetish with that sweet/sad combination. I'm glad I've succeeded in making Harry sound crazy. It was pretty hard to portray his feelings on paper, though they were all swimming around in my head. As for remembering things in snippets? You read my mind! That's exactly what I was going to do, but when he remembers everything it will be a bit different. I hope you enjoy the direction this story goes in!

**Swtdreams07: **Thank yah! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I will as often as I can! Thanks for reviewing!

**Vollypickle16: **Yeah, it is a bit different...but that's what I was hoping for! I didn't want it to seem too ordinary, a little bit unique, you know? Anyway, what would break Harry? Well, a little bit was explained in this chapter... being only 17 and being the leader of a war would be extremely hard on someone, I would think. Most of what happened to him will be explained when Harry's a little bit better...thanks for taking the time to review!

**InsideMyWorld: **Thank you! I will try and update as much as I can, it shouldn't take more then two months tops to finish. Harry did loose his memory in a way; it does come back in little snippets though. You'll hear more about that in this and other chapters.

**Potterluvva: **I know, I feel bad for Harry too! It is sad, but that was my desired affect. I will update! Keep checking.

**ConfusedHeart: **Thanks! I'm glad you like it! It took a bit of time to actually post it, because I was afraid it was something no one would like to read. As for chapter two? Well that was a much harder chapter to write! It was a long time until I actually got it finished. I couldn't find words in my head to describe it, so it was really...dull I guess. I pretty much wrote down the idea without much detail so that's probably why it was a little bit boring. I'm glad it's interesting though!

**Ciceronian: **Thank you! I'm glad it was interesting, the first chapter always has to make a statement. I'm glad you think it was intriguing! You'll find the answers to your questions soon! I would let a little slip but I don't want to give to much out!

**Linda: **I hope these chapters are what you were expecting! (If not more :)

**Flammy: **Ah! Flammy! There you are! I'm glad you like it, and I know it's a bit sad. It'll get better! Here's more for yah!

**Rosiegirl: **Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! You like Harry like this? Me too! It's somewhat how I think Harry will feel after the war. I mean, he wouldn't just go back to normal and live life normally! Writing Harry like this is extremely hard, though! Thanks for your support!

**Robin The Bird: **Thank you! The beginning is usually the hardest parts to write, considering it's usually the most boring... So I'm really glad you liked it! I will write more and update as fast as I can! I'm currently half way done the fifth chapter so you can expect four to come really soon!

**Wynjara: **Thank you! I hope you find this chapter just as interesting! I think you're right about it being pomfrey!

**PyroFirePower: **Thank you so much! I am continuing! I hope this chapter was as good as the last ones! Thanks for that wonderful compliment! It makes me all giddy when you call me a good writer! Also, thanks for taking the time to look it up! Good thing not everyone is as last as me :)

**Avvy Kavvy: **Thank you! I'm glad you thought it was a good chapter. I was worried what everyone would think about this one as it was really hard to write! I just couldn't find the words to express it the right way.

**Green eyed dragon: **Thank you for every review you've given me! You're name seems to stand out a bit in my memory. (It's an awesome penname by the way!) It will get a bit more mushy and sweet but right now Draco's still a bit shaken, I'd say. I hope this chapter is what you're expecting!


	4. chapter four

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Ah, thanks for the reviews. I'm sorry I don't answer all your questions individually, but if you have a question that you really want answered leave me your email address and I'll email you…

For this chapter, I'll try to get Draco and Harry together again. We'll see what I can do. This one's in Draco's point of view! Enjoy!

**Chapter Four: **Consequences

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The bright sunlight simmered through his eyelids and his hand travelled to his eyes, shielding them from the blinding sensation.

Suddenly he felt very cold, like nothing he'd ever felt before. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at the ceiling for a few minutes.

"Mr. Malfoy" Said a worried voice from somewhere on his right. "Are you awake?"

Groaning, Draco felt himself nod. He sat up and blinked, clearing his drowsy vision. "Yea." He muttered, slipping his covers higher on his shoulder.

Promfrey nodded and handed him a cup of tea. "First blizzard of December, I hope you wear more then just your pyjama bottoms from now on…. especially considering you're practically living in those nasty dungeons."

He felt like rolling his eyes, but his chattering teeth and shivering form were more important then showing 'he didn't care'. "Yeah, sure." He said, sipping from his mug. Slowly a stream of fire went down his throat and spread through his whole body, as if entering his bloodstream.

"Right now, everyone's at dinner. But first, can you please see the Headmaster?" She asked, piling his newly washed robes on his bed.

"When?" Draco said sleepily, not even caring to wonder what exactly Dumbledore would need to say to _him_.

He reached Dumbledore's office in a matter of minutes. An old voice told him to enter so he opened the door and looked around the familiar room.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said from a corner of the office.

Draco had been staring at an old portrait of Mrs. Mcgonagall that was hanging among others. He felt a sudden pang in his heart and silently cursed himself for feeling any sort of pang in what small heart he had.

"Professor Dumble-" He said turning around, his calm expression set. It quickly turned into surprise when he noted the small Gryffindor, his large hollow eyes staring at him, sitting in front of Dumbledore, a confused expression on his face. "…Dore" He choked out, afraid of what this conversation would lead too.

"Please take a seat." Said the voice once more, breaking into Draco's freeze of surprise.

Draco did. He sat right beside the empty body that was in the office. He tried not to glimpse at him, but he couldn't help it. His eyes travelled to Harry and realised the boy was staring at him also. He locked eyes with green dead ones and he had to restrain himself from shuddering.

"I understand, Mr. Malfoy, that you spent the majority of the day in the Infirmary with young mister Potter?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes travelling from Draco to Harry, whom he directed a warm smile.

Draco followed Dumbledore's gaze and was relieved to see that Harry was now looking straight ahead of him, not even listening to a word. He looked back at Dumbledore and nodded. "Yes, professor, I was having an…er…stomach ache. You know, like uh, I had…" He trailed off, his mouth opened as if about to continue, his head facing Harry again, who was now looking at him as well. Draco frowned; realising Harry eyebrows were arched, as if he was thinking. Showing emotion.

"Professor," asked Draco, his eyes still locked with Harry's, not even thinking about what he was saying. "What's wrong with him?"

Dumbledore's eyebrows knitted together and it was then Draco realised what he had said. He quickly turned around, his cheeks faintly pink and his mouth dropping open. "I mean-"

"Mr. Malfoy, as you know, Harry-" He stopped, looking over at Harry's sullen face. "Perhaps we should discuss this another time." He said as Harry's eyes blanked and he looked away.

Draco stared at the small form and closed his eyes briefly before returning his gaze to the old man. "Right." He said, his voice wavering lightly.

"To the point." Said Dumbledore, his eyes seemed to have become duller. "It seems Harry needs constant attention, if not for his…." Voice faltering, he continued. "Sudden panic attacks, for his own sense of belonging."

Draco's eyebrows furrowed and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "And what exactly are you telling me this for?" He said, a bit cross.

Dumbledore's tired eyes reached Draco's and he took a deep breath. "He needs someone he recognises to take care of him, otherwise he wont let his guardian take care of him, and they would most likely frighten him." Draco's eyebrows arched as Dumbledore continued. "Considering Poppy will be taking a leave during Christmas Break and after, and Harry hasn't warmed up to our new nurse it wouldn't be a very good idea to leave him in her care."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest in his smug manner. "What about Weasley and Granger? Surely they'd love to take care of him."

Dumbledore nodded and looked at Draco in a depressed sort of way. "Most of the school goes home for Christmas holidays, as you know, and hardly any are staying this year. In fact, we only have three including yourself and Harry." He folded his hands in a respectable manner and looked at Draco seriously.

"Ronald Weasley is one of the students who have been requested home, as much as he'd love to stay and tend to Harry. I'm not sure if you remember but Arthur Weasley…" Another look to Harry and he paused. "Is injured greatly."

Draco frowned and stared at Harry as well. It wasn't as if he was listening, there wasn't any point to beating around the bush. Sure, the older Weasley had died during the war, Harry already knew it anyway.

"Yeah, so?" He asked, his eyes levelling with the tired-looking man.

"So, Molly Weasley has requested her children stay with her during the break. She's going through a very hard time and mourning over her… loss." Dumbledore said carefully, eyeing Harry who was looking extremely pale.

"Well, fine. Granger then…. I don't see why you're asking for my advice on this matter, surely there are a lot of others who would know what's best for Harry. I, of course, haven't even spoken to him on civil terms what were you thinking when coming-"

"Draco, Hermione is a lady, she wouldn't be able to care for Harry even if she was staying, which she isn't." Said Dumbledore, now a little bit impatient. "As for your other problems? Well, Draco, I've come to you for a specific reason. You're the only other person Harry has had contact with since his return."

Draco's eyes opened at least an inch wider before Dumbledore continued. "And, since you have no one to take care of you over your break and have to stay anyway-"

"I hope you're not implying what I think you are, Dumbledore!" Said Draco, his voice commanding and very Malfoy-like. He had earned all the Malfoy treasures, he could surely command this _old man_ to not think anymore on the subject.

Dumbledore's eye flinched as if very annoyed. Which was quite odd for the kind man, of course, Harry's return had changed many people of their usual ways, including himself. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy, I am certainly implying what you think. That is, if you're thinking correctly." Though his exterior was breaking, his voice was still soft and gentle.

Draco looked suspiciously around and then landed on Dumbledore's semi-amused face. "And what exactly would be correct thinking?" He said, his eyes studying the old mans slight smile.

"Correct thinking would be thinking what I am thinking, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said, with a hint of his old self.

Draco rolled his eyes and stood up. "If you're not going to-"

"Mr. Malfoy. I am hoping you'd take the responsibility for Harry over the holiday break." He said, his words causing Draco's steps to falter. Slowly Draco turned around, horrified.

"_What?_"

"Yes, you heard correctly. I am indeed asking you to take care of Harry until Ronald comes back. You are the only one Harry seems to recognise, other then Miss. Granger and Mr. Weasley of course, and the reason for this is most likely because you have become familiar in his eyes."

"What are you thinking? We hate each other!" Draco said angrily, his usually calm-cool face now blazing red with anger.

Only Dumbledore noticed Harry's slight flinch at the words. "It is only a request, Mr. Malfoy. And I would like it if you could keep your past six years of venom in the past. There's no need to bring it up now, considering Harry can hardly remember anything…" He stared at Draco who was calming a bit.

"If it's only a request, then I am not going to do it. I have my own rights in this matter and my decision is no, good day Professor." Said Draco, his pace quick.

"Just think about it, Mr Malfoy." Said the old voice before Draco shut the door behind him.

--

The common room was eerily quiet as Draco sat in a leather armchair drinking a small mug of coffee. It was entirely bitter which made Draco wince while taking a sip.

The day had been extremely long and tiring. He leaned back and leaned his head in the cushiony headrest, sighing with pleasure.

Sleep, that's what he needed. Good old wonderful sleep.

And he would have done it too, if an image of a helpless, frightened face didn't disrupt him every time he tried. All Draco seemed to be thinking about for the past two hours since his 'meeting' with Dumbledore was the confused face of Harry Potter.

And it was killing him.

But it wasn't his fault the boy was born with such a screwed up life; it wasn't his fault at all. So he shouldn't have felt even the least bit guilty! Not at all. It was that worthless little stick of a kid, Potter's fault. He should've had to take care of himself. He's was a grown boy after all…

And yet, that didn't ease Draco at all, because of the stupid little argumentative part of his brain. The justified one. It kept telling him Potter didn't have a choice as to how he was born; he didn't have any choice towards his destiny.

And he was a grown boy, but he sure didn't act like it. He acted like a four-year old child who was frightened of even the friendliest person.

If it was anyone's fault to his guilt, it was his own. As much as Draco hated to admit it, he was curious earlier this morning and just _had_ to get comfortable in Potter's books. Just _had_ to go to the infirmary and play nice. Just _had_ to have that stupid fraction of a fraction of a heart.

But why did he have to do it? He surely didn't care about Potter….At least that much was for sure.

Then why exactly was he on his way to Dumbledore's office? He made no note to that and just concentrated on his guilt. That just _had_ to be there.

--

The hopeful look on Harry's face could melt anyone's heart. But of course, Draco didn't have a heart, not a full one anyway, so he just scowled at Dumbledore's newly twinkling eyes.

"I'm glad you've changed your mind, Draco. We will get you and Harry a room for yourselves and have it ready the week before the holiday break. It will be somewhat like the infirmary, so you wont have to worry about having to conjure Harry's medicine, it's all there. As for yourself? There's an extra bedroom and a bathroom, it should be comfortable enough."

Draco just tapped his shoes uncomfortably on the floor, knowing perfectly well Harry was staring at him. "Good. I'll be going now." He said in a dry voice, walking towards the door.

"Goodbye Mr. Malfoy, and thank you, of course."

Draco just slammed the door shut.

"The consequences of having a heart and _caring._" He muttered angrily to himself, letting the spiral stairs lead him back down towards the corridor.

And all he could think about the whole way was that stupid hopeful look in those partially emerald eyes.

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**Authors Notes: **I know, the living together thing in stories is common, but I'm trying to make it so that it's necessary. And just in case I haven't explained it enough:

Dumbledore picked Draco to take care of Harry was because Harry was familiar with him, having recognised him and spending almost a full day with him. He hasn't gotten a chance to talk to anyone else considering everyone is afraid of him. Also, Draco is the only one staying during the holiday other then another person, who I am planning to make like… a second year or something.

Poppy or Madam Promfey is going on a leave for Christmas holiday; I'm hoping you're assuming she also lost loved ones in the war. I would have added it but I'm not sure what kind of family she has! Sorry!

Also, just to answer any stray questions… You'll find out what Harry went through, though the third chapter did explain a bit of it. Maybe I'll get Harry talking, I have to find a perfect time for it to happen though. I've already got most of that part planned!

Anyway, once again, Thanks _so_ much for the reviews! I really enjoyed reading them! If you have any questions be sure to ask me!

_**-Shadow**_


	5. sweet dreams

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Ah! Finally! This is where the fun comes. Soon I'll be able to explain why Harry is the way he is, soon they'll be living together and I can start actually writing something that's not so… introduction-y

Anyway, thanks to anyway who reviewed! I like constructive critism so if you see something that needs to be fixed, please tell me! Also, if you have an ideas/comments/suggestions please contact me right away!

Well, here we go. Wonderful number five!

**Chapter Five: **Sweet Dreams

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Gorgeous, ebony Dragon-hide boots, kicked furiously at the pure white snow just outside of Hogwarts. A warm, silver and green scarf was huddled snugly around a slim pale neck, blocking any of the bone-chilling winds that nipped at the sensitive flesh. Two hands complete with five slender fingers each, were covered in black gloves that shielded the delicate fingertips from the frosted flakes that were grazing the green grass, sleeping peacefully, waiting to melt.

Draco Malfoy, very warmly dressed, was in a very foul mood.

The snow under his feet was a murky brown, complete with moist reeds of grass sticking out in irregular angles. It was also quite flat, the affect of the young boys vigorous kicking and stomping.

The sun, hidden by hundreds of stormy grey clouds, gifted the grounds with small shards of warmth, causing a sheen of sweat to develop on Draco's hairline, the result of wearing more clothing then needed and using up most of your energy to beat up the snow.

A pale hand, covered with warm material, lifted to brush stray hairs from a flushed face and to wipe off some of the work sweat that was starting to shape into little beads.

"Hey, Draco!" Called a perky voice from his right. Millicent Bulstrode, her plump face flushing excitedly with many arrays of reds and pinks. Draco frowned and walked towards her, trying not to concentrate on his body that was telling him to discard some of his wonderful garments.

"Millicent?" He said, his silvery eyelashes fluttering slowly as small flakes of snow landed on them.

He really wasn't expecting the flying ball of snow that hit him on the side of his face harshly. "What the-"

A laughing voice distracted him as Theodore revealed himself from his 'fort', clutching his stomach as if it were the funniest thing he had ever seen. "Oh Draco! You should've seen you're face!"

Millicent was also laughing merrily, her hands grabbing at the fresh snow on the floor. Draco only scowled and brushed off his clothes with his hands, muttering incoherent words every now and then.

The last week of the term had gone quickly for Draco and he was not looking forward to Christmas break the least bit. His friends were leaving to stay home with their families and he had to stay at Hogwarts and be some sort of _nurse_. He shuddered at the thought.

"Draco! Are you sure you don't want to join mother and I for Christmas?" Said a high-pitched voice behind Draco.

He turned around and found himself facing Pansy. She grinned brightly and shrugged. Draco sighed, "No Pansy, I'll be fine."

She gave him a sceptical look but didn't say anything. There was an awkward silence where no one had spoken until finally Blaise appeared behind Pansy and told them it was time to leave for the train.

They gave Draco sympathetic looks before heading inside the castle. Draco rolled his eyes and watched them go inside, deciding to take a tour through the greenhouse. It always seemed to have some most wondrous plants in the winter.

His walk was extremely cold, as the flesh where Theodore had hit so accurately was prickling uncomfortably. An annoyed sound escaped his lips as his arms hung tightly around his chest, rubbing them with his hands. Small clouds of frozen air slipped from his mouth as his breath became more ragged, from the cold winds that blew his perfectly combed hair from his eyes then back again, brushing the damp strands onto his already chilled earlobes.

When he finally reached one of the gardens he almost smiled. This garden was decorated very beautifully, with most of the trees glowing brightly with magnificent lights and enchanted stars zoomed about, silvery sparkles following them shimmering brightly as soft streams of sunlight reflected off of them.

His eyes followed the glowing butterflies that were grazing across frozen-looking plants then flying away suddenly, still bright as ever.

A content feeling filled his chest as he walked towards one of the swings that hung off from a large willow tree, its branches hanging in the air above his head and the few leaves drifting down to land on the newly covered grass or on the porch swing that Draco was currently slouching upon.

He was so relaxed; it didn't even occur to him that Malfoy's do not _slouch_.

Small snowflakes landed on his hair and he sighed contently, his nose turning a deep shade of red. Life had changed miraculously for him ever since Harry's return. Not only was his hate changing into pity but he was also going to have to spend weeks with the vulnerable idiot.

It didn't help that he felt a bit ashamed of calling Harry an idiot.

The day was passing by quickly. Pansy and the others left at around 7am and Draco was sure it was noon now. He laid his head on the cold wood and sighed, trying to relax for his last few hours of peace.

It was much later when he found himself drowsing off and he stood up abruptly; He had to go meet Snape and Dumbledore soon, something that he was dreading for the passed two and a half weeks. Soft gusts of wind blew at the edges of Draco's face, gently tousling his hair, carrying it from once side of his perfect face to the other.

When he reached the Entrance Hall of the castle, great relief washed over him. His legs had grown numb with the walk and the gloves he had bought for himself seemed incredibly thin. As soon as the relief washed over him, though, great fear replaced it. Draco looked nervously around the room for signs that someone was there and then walked inside, eyes darting suspiciously around as if expecting someone to jump out at him.

Dumbledore, Harry and Snape were all waiting outside of Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was wearing a cheerful smile; Harry a confused depressed expression and Snape a sneer. Draco tried to scowl, but all he came up with was a confused expression, somewhat like Harry's.

"Mr. Malfoy." Said the cold voice of Professor. Snape.

Draco looked in the direction of his godfather with interest, wondering if he could possibly get him to change the headmaster's mind.

"You're room is ready." Snape said, his voice icy but dull all the same.

Draco gazed at Snape for a minute before moving his head to stare at the headmaster. He stared back smiling. There was a pause before he locked eyes with Harry, who was staring at the ceiling.

"Fine." He said calmly, watching as Dumbledore nodded.

They stopped at a large portrait, not to far from Dumbledore's office. Draco scowled realising it wasn't anywhere near the dungeons. In fact, they were so far away that it would take at least ten minutes to even reach the dungeon staircase.

The portrait held a knight holding a large sword; ready to slash it at anyone who dare intrude. Dumbledore smiled and turned around to face Draco.

"He doesn't answer to passwords, he only allows certain people to enter. I've already informed him about you two." He said, his smile still very visible.

Draco rolled his eyes. "So then how do we get in?" He asked irritably, the fear of spending the whole Christmas holiday with Harry nicely covered by his calm voice.

Dumbledore's hand hooked on the edge of the portrait and he swung it open. "It will only open if you're allowed it." Dumbledore told them while stepping inside. Snape soon followed.

Draco stared at the hole then at Harry. "Go inside." He instructed, his voice wavering only slightly.

Harry stared at him then looked at the hole frightfully. He moved away from it and stared at Draco, his green eyes swallowed with fear.

"It's just the entrance, Potter." Said Draco irritably, wondering how he was supposed to live with Harry for two weeks.

Harry looked somewhat confused before taking a cautious step towards the portrait hole. He gave Draco one last worried glance before steeping inside and disappearing through the dark hole.

Draco stared at him go before walking grudgingly towards the door, his slightly tousled hair falling into his eyes. He was much too distracted to even notice, which was saying something. A Malfoy not concentrating on their hair was bad enough, but having it so dishevelled was a whole different story.

When he finally reached the floor he looked around. It was a pretty ordinary room. A large black sofa sat in the middle behind a large wooden table. Two armchairs circled the table in an elegant way. The floor was also polished wood but a large blood-red rug was on the floor under the table. Two beds, about the same size as the ones in the dormitories, were in each far corner of the room. They both had black hangings, which Draco was grateful for. At least he had some privacy.

There was a door beside one of the beds and Draco assumed it led to the bathroom. In one of the unoccupied corners was a large desk with a chair and a few rolls of parchment lay scattered among quills and books.

The most breath taking though was the last corner. A large roaring, cozy fire was ablaze, sending waves of warmth to radiate around the whole room. The small flickers of light it caused made the object next to it light brightly.

The object was a mini Christmas tree. It was decorated quite wonderfully, with many Green and Red decorations. A large angel was sitting on top singing a soft Christmas carol and Draco smiled. The tree was decorated not with lights, but with small glittery snowflakes. Many small, wrapped boxes sat underneath it, the shiny paper reflecting the tree's sparkles perfectly.

Christmas was truly the most beautiful time of year.

A small noise disrupted Draco and he turned around to face Dumbledore who was smiling a little less now, more of an understanding way. He was resting his arm on Harry's shoulder; the boy seemed to trust Dumbledore more then anyone else.

Draco walked towards them a smug look on his face. "It's nice." He said finally, his eyes catching a glimpse of the brightly lit tree.

Snape looked at Draco carefully. "The headmaster will be busy for much of the Christmas Holiday, so if you have trouble with anything come to me immediately. As for instructions, there's a roll of parchment on the desk over there, it will tell you if you need to do anything for young Mr. Potter." He looked at the mess on the table and then back at Draco. "I'll most likely be in my private chambers in the dungeon."

Draco nodded, watching Harry whose head was swivelling around the room curiously.

Dumbledore looked at them both before smiling. "Well then, we'll be going. Try and get comfortable with the situation, Mr. Malfoy. We'll be back tomorrow morning to make sure you've settled."

With one last smile, Dumbledore and Snape retreated from the room leaving Draco and Harry in a not so comfortable silence.

Finally Draco looked up from the rug he was currently staring so intently at and gazed at the raven-haired boy who still had yet to take his eyes off Draco. "Potter, stop staring."

Harry's eyes automatically met Draco's before he turned away and started exploring the rest of the room.

When the silence was a little less intense Draco strode over to one of the beds, choosing the one further from the bathroom. He took off his warm boots and his damp socks feeling a cold chill overcome him. He threw off the rest of his slightly wet clothes and cast a drying spell on them immediately.

When they were dry, he hung them up and chose himself black pyjama bottoms, and taking Madam Pomfrey's advice, a black button up nightshirt.

The window that was just above his bed was still streaming in streaks of sunlight so he jumped off his bed and walked towards the portrait hole in quick, long strides.

Until, of course, a small hand pulled at his arm. Draco turned around and looked at Harry whose eyebrows were arched and his face completely terrified.

"I'm just going to get something to eat, Potter." Said Draco tugging his arm away.

Harry looked at him for a minute before puling away. His eyes burned a whole through the blonde, his intense, yet emotionless, eyes peering wonderingly at Draco's face. His gaze moved from the boy to the portrait and he frowned. Draco saw his hand restraining from clutching back on to Draco's arm. With one last glance at Draco, Harry blinked slowly and then stalked over to the armchair and sat down curiously, watching as Draco left.

The hallways were dark and deserted, making Draco a bit cautious about where he was going. He had never really stayed for many of the Christmas Holidays and seeing the huge castle so empty spooked him just slightly.

A few minutes later, he found himself staring at the portrait that led to the kitchens and tickled the pear, waiting to be granted entrance.

When he returned with enough food for two people, he found Harry dozed off on the chair, a book lying loosely in his lap. Draco walked over to him and put the book away with an exhausted sigh. Taking care of Harry was like taking care of a small child.

"Potter?" He said softly, setting the food on the table and attempting to shake the boy awake. "Are you hungry?" He asked when Harry opened one of his eyes slightly.

Harry closed his eye and then rolled over onto his other side, making a small muffled sound.

Draco rolled his eyes and shook him again "Are you sure you're not hungry? You're as thin as a stick."

The brunette opened his eyes and yawned, huddling his knees to his chest, making sleepy faces at the table.

When Draco finished his dinner, he looked over at Harry who hadn't even touched his plate. His orange juice still slightly too full, vibrating dangerously close towards the opening of the cup. His chicken, that was once warm, trailing delicious puffs of smoke, was now lying cold and juiceless on his plate. The delicious, sinful chocolate cake Draco managed to scoop up for them was sitting lifeless in his bowl, hardly looking as delectable as it had just a little while ago.

"Not hungry?" Said Draco watching the plate with hidden concern.

Harry, who was currently hiccupping like he had just eaten the biggest meal in the world, which he had not, looked up from his current favourite place on the floor. Slowly his eyebrows arched and he gave a small-distorted sigh.

Draco tried smiling, and was sure he failed, before slipping off his chair and sitting beside the confused-looking boy. "It looks as if you haven't eaten for weeks." He said lightly, his hand subconsciously grabbing Harry's fork.

Harry watched Draco's movements and Draco smiled, this time succeeding. "I can assure you, this food is _not_ poisonous." The fork piled up some potatoes and was slightly lifting from the plate.

Harry's eyes sparkled, like they held some sort of amusing secret. Draco's grin faded into a tiny smile as he commanded: "Open."

Harry stared at the food then at Draco before his mouth opened into a small slit and Draco emptied the utensils contents into the dark cavern. He grinned as Harry chewed, his face showing mild disgust. "You shouldn't have left it for that long. Of course it's going to be cold."

Harry got through a few more bites before groaning and turning away, settling his head on the headrest. Draco smiled and dropped the fork back onto the tray, helping Harry to his bed. The raven-haired boy sat on his bed for a while, before his wariness took affect and he collapsed on his bed with a small sigh of comfort.

Draco did the same, his eyes watching Harry's small movements until the boy fell asleep. His eyes, though he could not see, were filled with an amused kind of peace. He sighed and let his luscious blonde hair fall onto his pillows before falling into a deep, dreamless slumber.

**¤¤¤¤¤**

**Authors Note: **Dull chapter? Maybe. I'll try and make them a little more exciting from now on. Anyway, not many notes for this chapter, the next one will be another sort of filler chapter but the one after that will be a lot better! Promise!

_**-Shadow**_


	6. Secrets

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Well, it's been a heck of a long time. This chapter was obviously extremely hard to write, and it doesn't help that i'm only writing it to get it over with. I can assure you it will be dull :) But! The next one might actually start the romance. I know, the slash is taking really long. But hey, you cant fall in love in a matter of seconds, the most I can get Draco to do right now is treat Harry with pity. However! I do need to get Harry to remember, and fast! I'm practically falling asleep while writing this story. But, it's all good... Who knows, maybe the chapter will actually be good? Who knows? Anway, hoping you enjoy?

**Chapter Six: **Secrets

¤¤¤¤

Draco stared at the unmoving ceiling above him. A candle near his bed was quickly burning out, causing the objects surrouding him to be eerily shadowed. His soft, platinum hair strayed slightly to one side of his forehead as he adjusted his hands behind his head, making himself more comfortable.

His mind kept racing, as if watching his day happen before his eyes. He saw himself one minute, living normally, with Theodore, Blaise and Pansy. Then all of a sudden, it was as if he had hit fast foreward and saw himself practically shoving food into Harry's mouth.

With an uneasy sigh, he turned over, allowing his weight to shift to his elbow. He stared at Harry's bed for a few moments, his silver eyes analyzing the sleeping form. It was a shock, really, to be in the same room as Harry. Just weeks ago, if anyone had asked him to be kind to the boy he would have laughed openly. Something Malfoy's should never be caught doing.

When he slowly closed his eyelids, he found them opening again. He felt almost as if he were guilty of doing something horrible. There was an awkward feeling in the pit of his stomach. A feeling that one moment was peaceful, but in a second turned immensley horrible. So horrible, in fact, that it was almost painful.

Draco's hand rose to itch his nose, when he heard it. Something he had felt he had heard enough of to last 100 lifetimes. He closed his eyes when he heard Harry groan. There was a pause and Draco thought he was safe, but then, of course, he heard the first sob.

It wasn't really a sob. More inbetween a gasp and a wail. Draco slowly opening his eyes, his brain contemplating whether to pretened he was asleep or to help the pitiful boy. He felt his stomache lurch with an uncomfortable jolt and he dragged himself out of bed, very unsure of what to do.

Finally, with reluctant footsteps, he made it to the edge of Harry's bed. There was a layer of sweat already forming at Harry's hairline. Hesitantly, Draco tore the silky covers off the bed, allowing Harry's suffocated body some air.

Heading for the bathroom, Draco pulled out a clean towel and turned on the sink. Cool water skimmed across his fingers and he soaked the cloth in it, before making his way back to Harry's bed.

Harry had a few tears clinging to his eyelashes, but other than that, there was no sign that he had cried. Draco secretly marvelled at the boys bravery before sitting on his knees and moving Harry's fringe off to the side of his forehead. With shaky fingers, he allowed the cloth to just touch Harry's burning skin. He heard Harry sigh softly, his eyelashes fluttering, still thick with tears. Finally, Draco reached Harry's scar. He found himself absolutely terrified to touch it and slowly let a tremmbling hand dab it, expecting it to hiss.

It didn't.

Almost breathing a relieved sigh, Draco continued to lightly touch the cloth to Harry's head. When Harry had finally seemed to relax, Draco pulled the covers back on and slipped into his nightrobe. It was a velvety-green and he sunk himself into it, sitting on the armchair directly in front of the dying fire.

A slightly rough hand patted Draco's shoulder, and he snapped his head up, feeling incredibly stiff. With a stiffled yawn, he looked up to find Harry's round, frightened eyes staring at him.

"Potter, stop staring. It's rude." He said, feeling nervous under the intense gaze.

Harry blinked a couple of times, then looked towards the fire. It was then Draco realized he had fallen asleep on the armchair. He felt his neck protest as he turned to look at Harry.

"You know." Started Draco, almost believing Harry wasn't listening to him. "I feel as if i'm talking to a wall. If you could at least nod and pretened you're listening..."

Harry's eyebrow lifted slightly and he almost smiled.

Draco was very amazed, at the same time positively confused. "You're in a good mood, I presume."

Emerald eyes locked with Draco's and he felt his cheeks burn, for reasons he did not know. Then, almost magically, Harry smiled. A small, actually _tiny,_ smile, but a smile nonetheless. When he realized Draco noticed, he looked away, almost fearfully.

Just as Draco was about to _make_ Harry talk, the portrait door swung open and Snape entered, his robes bellowing dangerously behind him. He looked like the vampires that Draco learned about in Defence Against the Dark Arts and was just as frightening.

"Draco!" He practically yelled.

Draco looked at him stunned, his eyebrows knit into a frown. "Snape?"

Snape narrowed his eyes at his student and Draco looked back, flustered. "You and I need to talk."

"You know, you don't look like you're in the friendliest mood. Perhaps after we've eaten"

"Be quiet." Snape snapped, his beady eyes flashing menacingly. Draco noticed Harry flinched.

"If you haven't noticed." Draco said, somewhat annoyed. "We have both just awaken, and our ears are quite sensitive." Obviously, Draco felt quite distressed with his godfather, considering he hadn't even tried to free Draco from this nursing job.

"It turns out." Said Snape, his greasy hair flickering over his forehead. "Since Dumbledore cannot be here, I have to explain Potter to you. And trust me, i'd rather be doing many more productive things with my time." There was a very Snape-like sneer placed on his pale face.

"Explain Potter?" Draco asked, feeling rather curious in spite of himself.

Snape's upperlip curled, showing his very unattractive teeth. "Isn't that what I just said? Now make sure Potter's out of earshot while I conjure up some tea. God forbid Dumbledore leaves an easy task on my shoulders for once." He snarled.

Draco looked towards Harry and found he wasn't there. Feeling a trail of panic from his stomach catch in his throat, he violently shook his head, feeling himself grow pink when he realized Harry was sitting on his bed, reading another book.

Letting himself fall back onto the armchair, he turned so he was facing Snape. "So?"

Snape looked at him from underneath his narrow eyebrows. "Potter is not in his right mind. Even you have noticed that I hope."

When Snape was irritated, he was quite frightening. "Of course I've noticed." Draco said, taking the tea from Snape's outstreched hand.

"Would you like to know why?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Naturally."

With a deep sigh, Snape folded his arms neatly on his lap. "About 9 months ago, Potter finished off the war, to the great relief of wizards everywhere." He paused, making Draco extremely ticked off. "Potter fought The Dark Lord in a secluded place, away from any help and witnesses, so even I do not know exact details. Dumbledore claims he knows nothing as well, but he obviously knows more than what he tells."

Draco felt like prompting his godfather to get to the point, but knew it would only make Snape continue slower.

"The Dark Lord had beaten Potter for quite some time. When he emerged from the castle where he had his battle with The Dark Lord, his scar had been bleeding. That is how we knew the curse was forever broken. The Dark Lord was gone permanently, and nothing would bring him back. However, this did not mean he had given up without a fight. Though I am quite unsure of what happened that night, it was believed The Dark Lord drove Potter to insanity by showing him replays of his loved ones deaths. If you are unclear, those were mainly his mother, father and the dog Black."

Draco tried picturing seeing his loved one's dying. His mother hadn't really been severley close to him, and his father wasn't someone he loved. He settled for picturing Snape, though at the moment he wasn't exactly mournful.

"That is all I know of the fight. In fact, until i recieved Dumbledore's letter this morning, it was all I knew on the matter itself. It's all anyone knows, really. Anyhow, Dumbledore's letter this morning surprised me, as it had very confusing news. You do know, Draco, that Potter has lost his memory. But what you do not know was that even though The Dark Lord caused him to go insane, mainly meaning he would cry and shout random things quite frequently, he hand't caused Potter's memory to disappear. That, Draco... That was what Potter did to himself."

Draco almost dropped the cup from his hand, spilling a small amount of tea on his robe. It was quite un-Malfoy-like but that was the least of his worries. "That makes no sense, why in the world"

"Do not interrupt me. It does make sense, Draco. Potter hated the memories of his life so much, he simply did not want to remember them. He did not cast a spell on himself or drink any silly potion. None of that nonsense. Quite plainly, he chose to forget and pushed all the memories to the back of his head, forgetting everyone and everything. His magic, though, was too strong to forget, and Dumbledore believes it's the only thing that keeps him at ease."

Draco stared at Snape, his mouth hanging open in a very unattractive way. "So, if he wanted to, he could remember?"

Snape looked at Draco closely, before taking a long sip of tea. "Well, it's good to see we've finally gotten something through that thick skull of yours."

Draco rolled his eyes. "But how does one get him to remember."

Snape rubbed his index finger and thumb together, examining them intensely. "It's not that easy. You cannot make him do anything, Draco. The only way for him to remember is to make him want to remember. Which, Draco, even I wouldn't attempt. It's obvious those memories should stay in the deepest corners of his mind."

Draco looke at Snape wonderingly. There was a minute of silence before Snape stood up and headed for the door.

"However, Draco. I believe Harry's heart would be at ease if he could remember."

Draco watched his professor leave, quite aware he had used Harry's name.

There was a long pause in motion before Draco turned around to stare at Harry's bed. The boy looked very captured in his bookd and Draco sighed. It was a while before Harry realized he was being watched and he averted his gaze to meet Draco's. The pale boy quickly looked away, his neck reddening.

**A/N: **It was alright, i guess. I tried to explain what I could. This should pretty much end the introduction. NOW i can get focuss on the romance. That's good at least. Bear with me, please. I know, it was short and all, but I promise the next few chapters will be more exciting. This was really informitve, though. At least I hope it was. If you have any questions or comments please email and ask! By the way, I've lost word, so if I have spelling/grammatical errros, please try and do your best to ingore them. Trust me, I know what it's like reading a fic with thousands or errors in them. Sorry!

Shadow


	7. Haunting

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **I think I should get my brain working and start trying to get this story done! You've all been waiting for a long time and I really appreciate it. The slash might be introduced in this chapter, but only very very mildly. I hope you don't mind. If it's not in this chapter, it'll be in the next. Oh this is in Harry's point of view, just to get the feel of his character, for all of you who might be confused. Well, please read and heres hoping you enjoy it!

..Shadow..

**Chapter Seven: **Haunting

x.x.x.x

The book leaned against the wall behind Harry's bed as he did his best to concentrate on the pages in front of him. Truth be told, he was feeling slightly uncomfortable, as if someone were watching him. Being paranoid, as he often was, he quickly moved his eyes from the neglected book to the fireplace, where he found Draco staring at him with intense interest. Just as quickly as the gaze fell upon him, he looked away.

Harry brushed his hair away from his eyes, slightly bewildered. With a sudden instinct to say something, he looked at the pale boy again, trying to find his voice. Except, his mind clouded with confusion as the only words that he seemed to want to say to the boy were filled with a fierce hate.

He looked at Draco, slightly frightened, before turning quickly to his book trying to get his mind focussed on what was sitting in front of him. However, it was too late. He could feel a memory pushing itself from the back of his mind. He stared at the wall, unmoving, trying with all his strength to push it back.

x.x.x.x

_"Oh look, it's scarhead and the weasel. Out for a midnight stroll, are you Potty?" _

_Ron turned an almost impossible shade of red as the two stopped walking across the grass to Hagrid's hut, where Hermione sat waiting for them. _

_"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, almost bored._

_"Oh, nothing." The boy replied, his voice also bored. "Just wanted to thank you for quitting Quidditch. The weaslette is horrible, and it's all thanks to you we're going to win the cup this year."_

_Ron's eyes narrowed and he stared at the platinum-haired boy, his neck reddening along with his cheeks. The redhead had just finally made Quidditch captain, and since Harry quit during the beginning of the year, the Gryffindor team had, indeed, been doing awful. _

_"Lucky for you, Harry's quit. It's the only way you'll ever catch the snitch." Ron was extremely touchy on the subject, and the fact Malfoy had hit two birds with one stone and also made a quirk on his sister was enough to push him over the edge._

_"It's also apparent that Harry's the only reason you've ever won a match, isn't it now, Weasley? I mean, I truly hope you didn't give credit to _your _quidditch skills." Draco said, a smirk catching his lips._

_Harry grabbed the sleeve of Ron's robes as he tried knocking a fist into the git's head. Ron snarled slightly before snapping back at Harry. Harry only gave Draco a disgusted look before pulling Ron away, so he could calm down. Malfoy really was some piece of work._

x.x.x.x

Harry's stomach jolted as he looked at the same, taunting boy in front of him. His eyes widened and he quickly snapped his book shut, feeling fear flutter uncontrollably in his chest. Draco seemed to have noticed, because his head quickly moved from the fire to Harry, and he stood up, his eyes gentle.

Of course, the panic in Harry's chest heightened and he moved back, with every step Draco took. To say the least, he was afraid. Draco was the enemy.

"Potter?"

Harry's eyes moved from Draco's to land at his mouth, which opened slightly as he said the words.

"What's wrong?"

With immense effort, Harry pushed Draco away when he was close enough. Draco looked mildly confused, it had, after all, only been earlier that morning when Harry had _smiled_ at him.

"Potter? Potter!"

Harry was only mildly aware he was now at the back wall, his hands clutching at the wall. Draco looked incredibly distraught, his eyes analyzing Harry carefully.

"Potter, what the hell's wrong with you?"

Harry looked to his left, before quickly turning to his right. He was stuck.

"Harry! Speak to me."

With the tiniest bit of curiosity, Harry stared at the fair-skinned boy in front of him. He was close. Too close. He could easily kill Harry right there and then, yet somehow Harry wanted him to say his name again. It was comforting, as strange as it sounded.

It looked as if Draco had just realized what he had said and he looked at Harry, faintly surprised. With almost fearful eyes, he looked at Harry deeply, as if trying to hypnotize the raven-haired boy. Harry felt his uneasiness somehow leave his chest.

Finally, Draco seemed to have realized. His eyes suddenly widened and he moved backwards a few steps. "You remembered something, didn't you?"

Harry looked at Draco, his eyes revealing more than he hoped they would.

"It's different now." Draco said softly, though it wasn't really. He still enjoyed provoking weasley and friends.

Harry almost felt himself agree, it was different. Harry had been with Draco in the same room for two days. He hadn't tried anything, and it was obvious he wasn't going to. Gradually, Harry let his breath return to it's normal rate.

There was a pause before Draco sat on Harry's bed his eyes scanning the room nervously. Harry stayed where he was. "You can talk to me." He said finally, his silver eyes looking somewhat astonished at what he had just said. "It's not as if i'll tell anyone what you say. You can tell me anything."

Harry felt his brain try and form words in his mouth, but he refused to let them out. He refused to let anyone see him so weak. He had defeated Voldemort, after all. The savior of the world shouldn't have been as pathetic as he was right then.

Suddenly Harry gasped. He remembered Voldemort, he remembered their battle together. How ruthless he was when he continued to show Sirius falling behind the veil. Showing him how he could have... no how he should have saved him. Harry choked slightly as he remembered his godfather falling to his death.

It was as if he was reliving the night. He saw Sirius' back arch elegantly before his body disappeared behind the dark curtains hiding the hideousness behind them. He heard Lupin's raspy, hoarse voice telling him Sirius was no longer alive.

Lupin. After Sirius' death, Harry and Remus had become incredibly close, their lived were both miserable at that point. Lupin helped Harry like his own father would have. Like Sirius would have.

Then he also died.

Mr. Weasley had died.

Seamus had died.

Dean Thomas had died.

Neville had died.

The list went on and Harry hadn't noticed he was slipping down the wall, his eyes glazed over with a slight daze as memories collided him.

Mcgonagall had died.

In fact, almost every teacher had died.

Harry was very unaware of delicate hands picking him up placing him on his bed.

"You can tell me anything."

The voice echoed in his ears, ringing loudly.

Harry slowly let his eyes close, letting soft fingers tuck him into his sheets.

"You can tell me anything."

Harry suddenly felt very grateful of Draco's presence. He hesitantly grabbed the hand as it adjusted the covers around him. The grip tensed slightly and Harry very slowly clutched it, letting his fear seep through him.

Draco very quietly sat on the edge of Harry's bed, feeling his fingers tingle numbly as Harry's hand tightened around his. A dull thudding in his chest was echoing in his ears and he welcomed it, feeling Harry's hand sweat slightly, pressed up against his own.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **When I was looking over the last chapter I posted, i saw my dividers weren't working, so you guys must have been slightly confused. That's what happened in the one-shot _desire_ I wrote. That's why they're so confusing, you cant really see them. You can't see dashes either. It's really screwed up. Oh well. This chapter was hard to write again, but I slightly like it. I know you guys might not, but I can only hope you do. Thanks a bunch for the reviews! They were all really supportive and awesome!

..Shadow..

P.S. Sorry, I know its really, really short!


	8. Perfect

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **This was one hard chapter to write! Thank you to those who reviewed, it's a pleasure writing for you! Also, sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like Harry remembered _everything_, Tell me Your Name (the reviewer), It was just supposed to be the first step. He's remembering a little at a time, though keep in mind, he might be more aware of his surroundings than you think. I mean, there's only been few chapters in his point of view?

**Chapter Eight: **Perfect

x.x.x.x

A cold wind crept in though the window, and Draco saw Harry's eyelashes flutter open. He groaned, pushing the silken covers of his bed higher on his shoulders before turning over, trying to fall asleep once again.

The Slytherin boy sat on his own bed, watching Harry intently. He ran his fingers along his forehead, absentmindedly moving smooth strands of pale hair away from his face. It had to be seven in the morning when Harry's eyes pryed open, against his will. Draco watched as he stared at his ceiling, the memories he had remembered catching up with him.

Draco waited patiently, watching as Harry's eyes clouded with confusion, than slowly turned into terror. His eyes shut tightly and he made a soft whimpering sound in his throat.

With one swift motion, Draco was on his feet, walking towards the raven-haired boy quickly. There was a slight hesitation in his movements, but he managed to get over to Harry's bed without trouble.

"Potter?"

Emerald eyes found their way to silver ones and Harry's eyebrows arched. He looked around the room, his eyes saddening.

Draco knew perfectly well that Harry had a nervous breakdown. He had much experience, seeing as how his mother had suffered from many herself. "Well? What do you remember?" The blonde asked, his voice soft yet demanding.

It looked as if Harry still didn't want to talk. His mouth opened slightly before closing again, his voice trapped. His eyes looked incredibly confused and Draco felt himself jolt with a feeling which he recognized immediately as sympathy. He didn't even feel the need to scold himself for sympathezisng his enemy because he didn't feel Harry and him were enemies anymore.

In fact, Draco had no idea what they were. They certainly weren't close enough to be friends and Draco suspected Harry didn't want friends. Not now...

It was obvious he needed something to complete him, but all Draco could do was loom over Harry, wondering the same thing over and over again.

_Why do I care?_

He finally admitted, that yes, he had cared slightly for Harry when he had gone to the infirmary. And yes, he had cared somewhat for Harry when he agreed to take care of him over the winter holidays. But he still didn't understand why.

Subconciously, Draco's hand lifted from his sides as he pondered about his current situation. Without noticing, Draco's hand made it's way to Harry and started stroking his hair gently, leaving Harry looking relieved but even more curious than before. The hand slowly pushed back Harry's black hair and then fell softly back on to his forehead.

It wasn't until Harry sighed with comfort when Draco realized what he was doing. Feeling himself grow warm and blushing, he pulled his hand away, watching as the boy's eyes fluttered open, revealing drowsy eyes.

The two stared at eachother for several minutes, both feeling lost and slightly embarassed. Finally, Draco lowered his eyes so that they landed on the ground.

"You don't deserve this." Draco said softly. "You don't deserve to have your memories ripped away from you."

Harry's eyes looked towards the same spot Draco's were staring so intently at.

It was hard to believe Draco had said the words. Even Harry, who had tiny knowledge of Draco's arrogant behavior looked surprised. Draco bit his lip, something he hardly ever did, before catching Harry's eyes once again.

"Though..."

Draco's voice trailed off. He didn't want Harry to remember anything because it would bring back the memories of Draco's torments and for some unexplainable reason, he didn't want Harry to hate him. But, looking into those hopeful eyes, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead, he went the other direction.

"You can always get them back."

Harry's eyes widened and his head turned quickly. He looked as if he struggled with himself to talk, but his voice decieved him and he only burried his head in his pillow.

"Don't you want them back?" Draco said, more agressively than he would have liked. Sure, he was starting to feel _something_ for the other boy, but it didn't stop him from being frusterated. And, when Draco was frusterated he took it out on something. Mainly someone.

Harry's eyes scanned the room carelessly, his head making only the slightest movement.

"But why?" Draco said loudly, his eyes somewhat relieved but his chest sinking slightly. As much as he wanted to keep his and Harry's old relationship a secret, he absolutely knew he didn't want to see Harry live like _this_. Like a pathetic, pitiful baby.

Then, there was a slightly muffled sound. Draco looked as if someone had just slapped him in the face and he quickly turned around. It was the softest sound, a sound that could have easily been mistaken for the wind, or something just as quiet.

"Because."

Draco's face suddenly lifted and his eyes widened. "What did you say?"

Harry's face turned slightly, his emerald eyes shining with what looked like fear. His voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't ever spoken in his life, and his mouth cracked open, taking in a small, fearful breath. His eyes locked with Draco's and he very slowly pulled himself into a sitting position.

"I don't want to remember."

Draco looked as if he was about to faint. His face was still in shock, but his eyes looked surprised and hopeful. "Why not?"

Harry thought it over for a minute, his head tilting slowly to his right. "My life is- was bad." He said slowly, tasting the words in his mouth. His eyebrows arched slightly, before he brought his gaze back to Draco's.

"No. Is. You can't live like this." Draco said just as slow. He was still incredibly astonished that Harry was talking to him.

"I can. The nightmares... I can live with." His eyes closed tightly. "They've always come. Even in my past life."

The Slytherin felt his breathing slow down. His eyes showed genuwine concern, but his face was twisted into a slight sneer. How could Harry be so stupid?

"Your friends, your life... you don't remember anything!" He said, his hand reaching up towards his face, rubbing his head tiredly. "If you remembered... Then..."

Harry watched Draco intently, his own hands running through his hair. Draco looked up, his face angry.

"I can't stand seeing you like this." Ended Draco lamely, his face tinted with a horrible red.

The Gryffindor looked confused as he bit his lip. There was something hopeful in his eyes, but Draco sensed the other boys discomfort.

Draco moved slightly closer to the raven-haired boy, who shuddered ever so slightly as he examined his hands, his eyes on the verge of tears. Draco's own fingers landed on one of Harry's and he pushed it down, entwining their fingers as he did. Harry's other hand dropped softly to his other side, his head raising, watching Draco's hesitant face near his own.

"You're so miserable." Draco whispered, his eyes glistening with emotion. "I don't want to see you miserable."

Harry took in a deep breath, shuddering a little as he exhaled. His emerald eyes, once so pure, were laced with a lifeless fog. Very slowly, Draco took his free hand and let it linger on Harry's chin, pushing up his delicate face slowly, their faces parallel to eachother, causing Harry's darkened orbs to meet his own.

The blonde stared into the misty orbs that belonged to Harry. His breath came out softly, warming Harry's worried face.

They were both confused. They didn't belong together... This was not what was supposed to happen...

But as Draco stared into the depths of Harry's eyes, he only asked himself one thing.

_Then why do we fit so perfectly?_

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **Oh, i'm sorry. Not only is this chapter disgustingly bad, it also took ages to post and is also minuscule. I swear, it's hardly long enough to be called a chapter. Maybe the introduction to a chapter... I'm really sorry! It's just, this has been a total roadblock for me! It's causing me so much trouble, that I'm really confused. I knew exactly where this story was going.. but the roadblocks just keep multiplying! Sorry again!

Shadow

P.S Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. I tried to catch them all when I proofread, but I only have two eyes and, trust me, I make DOZENS of mistakes...


	9. Longing

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Aw! You guys are so sweet. That icky writers block is still there, but since you guys reviewed so much and gave me such great feed back, boosting my confidence in writing, I forced myself to write this chapter. Only, it's been flowing nicely since the romance has blossomed and I can get onto writing it. I think i'm a lot better at romance, considering i'm a hopeless romantic!

P.S Thanks Redfox13 for all of your reviews. You're awesome! Oh, and don't worry about the almost-kiss. I'm sure you'll be seeing real ones in the near future ;)

**Chapter Nine: **Longing

x.x.x.x

It seemed as if eternity had gone by as Draco searched the endless emerald pools hungrilly, his hand softly laced with Harry's. He listened to the boys soft breathing, watched the way his chest rose slightly then fell back down. His eyes followed the boy's pale arm to where his hand was gripped, feeling soft fingers move hesitantly under the gentle touch.

Neither dared to move, not wanting to ruin the bliss they had created. Draco could hear his own breathing match with Harry's as he swallowed uneasily, not being able to place the emotions that ran through his chest, paining him. But, the funny thing was it was a pain he welcomed. A pain that only died down when Harry would smile at him, look in his eyes or touch him.

It was a pain that only Harry could produce within him, and a pain that only Harry could relieve.

His face nearing Draco's, Harry blinked. Draco watched his eyelashes flutter and bit his lip, a feeling so overwhelming taking over his body. His free hand gently cupped Harry's flushed cheeks and he felt his breathing quicken, his chest thudding loud enough, he was sure Harry could hear.

It was as if they were frozen, Draco's face inches from Harry's, A milky hand cupping a rosey cheek. Soft breaths escaped both lips, the only sign they weren't a statue.

Finally, Draco leaned in, just slightly, nervously, fearfully... longingly. His forhead grazed Harry's and he closed his silver orbs, feeling his pain either intensify or die down immensly. It was hard to tell. He was afriad, afriad of something he wanted badly. What would happen if Harry remembered... Remembered everything...

Harry would hate him. No... Harry would despise him.

Draco's eyes slowly opened when he felt soft lips touch his own. Their lips were still, just skimming across eachother. It wasn't a kiss, not really. Just a warm, tender caress... Something beyond a kiss, something intimate and delicate.

Harry's mouth opened, his eyes closed. He let his warm breath trail down Draco's soft lips as he exhaled, and the blonde closed his eyes as well, feeling Harry's free hand trail towards his cheek where he let it land ontop of his own, slowly entangling their fingers together, his lips closing again, moving against Draco's like velvet.

Gingerly, Draco clumsily let his lips move against Harry's, feeling the other boy move closer, his body pressed up against the blonde's. He could feel heat travel from Harry's flushed cheeks, pleasantly burning his skin. Lazily, he trailed his and Harry's entwined fingers across Harry's heated face, his lips pushing themselves against Harry's, causing the boy to make a soft sound deep inside his throat.

They were close. So close Draco could feel Harry's soft eyelashes flicker against his flesh, tickling him sweetly. He felt the other boy's lips softly brush his own, their forheads bumping together gracefully.

With a soft sound of longing, Draco let his lips slip off Harry's landing neatly at his chin. His eyes were shut loosley, his warm breath flowing across Harry's glowing face.

Then with a soft, broken voice, Harry let his lips softly kiss Draco's nose before whispering,

"Draco."

And Draco never thought his name ever sounded so beautiful.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **Oh my gosh. I'm terribly sorry! This chapter is even smaller than the last... I wish I had added it to the other one...And, it's pointless, yet manditory. And also, I know you guys are going to hate me for ending it so soon, because even I expected it to be longer, but it just ended so perfectly I didn't want to add more to it when the most fitting ending was right there. This chapter is just a whole bunch of mush, I know. And I know it's just so short, and It's probably one of the shortest chapter's i've ever written. The next one will be a lot longer, I promise you!

Also, this mush is supposed to keep you satisfied for a few chapters. I know, I love H/D romance as much as you, but the thing is, this story is supposed to be bags of angst and drama, as horrible as it sounds. It will have a lot more fluff in the future, but soon Harry will retrieve his memory and, well... You'll see. (Just expect angst.)

Come on, you would have never reached this chapter if you didn't love angst as much as me.

But don't worry. By the end of the story, you'll have all your fluff needs satisfied, 'cause I hate ending my stories depressingly.

Shadow


	10. Alone

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Oh, you guys are amazing. You totally built my confidence in this story (Not to long ago, I wasn't sure anyone liked it, and was giving up...) and your reviews are very sweet and incredibly flattering!

This chapter was a hard one... I mean, I seriously couldn't pick a point to begin at. Starting right after the kiss would have been boring, believe me, nothing else happened, haha. But starting way after the kiss was too confusing. I've started the 'morning after' so many times that It's starting to become to repetitive, in my opinion. It gets annoying having to explain the sunlight over and over again. So, I took the next best thing. I've decided to start approximately ten day's later (it'll be more exciting that way) when the students are due to come home from the break.

Well, that's all. Please enjoy what my clumsy mind offers.

**Chapter Ten: **Alone

¤¤¤¤

Reluctantly, a soft pale hand rose to pick up a stray shirt off the floor, throwing it into a pile with all the other clothes neatly. With an uneasy glance, the Slytherin looked towards Harry who had a slight frown on his gentle face.

The room opened with a small click and Draco turned around, his arm suspended slightly in mid-air as he held on loosley to another piece of clothing, dangling it ontop of his, now quite large, pile. His eyes held onto the image of Dumbledore for a few minutes before he opened his mouth to reply.

"Good Morning, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said smiling, his words cutting Draco off.

Draco only nodded a slight hello before turning back around, his eyes lifting slightly to look at Harry who had turned the the professor quickly, a soft shine of recognisation going through his eyes.

"Harry." Dumbledore acknowleged softly, his eyes showing a slight concern. "I'm sure your stay was comfortable?"

The raven-haired boy nodded, a flicker of emotion trailing itself past his delicate face. Draco couldn't help but feel his spirits rise knowing that Harry trusted him enough to speak to him, which obviously wasn't the case with Dumbledore. However, he was proved wrong merely seconds after the thought crossed his mind.

"It was fine." He murmmured, his eyes sweeping towards Draco with a look of worry.

Dumbledore hardly looked surprised and Draco silently came to the conclusion that the two had talked before. He felt his stomach sink slightly before raising his eyes to meet those of Dumbledore's.

"When do the students arrive?" He asked soundly, an uncomfortable silence being disrupted and a soft sound of dread ringing through Draco's words.

"In an hour or so." Dumbledore said softly, his eyes taking in their surroundings. Draco was very sure he knew of his relationship with the messy-haired Gryffindor.

But obviously didn't completely understand it... Draco hardly had that pleasure. All he knew was that after many soft, only slightly sensual touches and smooth, slow kisses that made his insides flutter, he had started to grow strong feelings for the boy. Stronger than anything he had ever felt. Something beyond the rage he had felt when his father had died but something so sweet it made him smile, something he found he did much more over the past few days with Harry.

As the end of their secluded stay together neared, Draco felt a sudden jolt of sickness come over him. It would be barely easy to keep up the confusing relationship he shared with the other boy... The Slytherin's would surely disapprove of Harry and he knew Granger and Weasley would take it even worse than the Slytherins.

Harry, he knew however, wasn't fearful of what his friends might think... but more depressed at the thought of staying so far away from the blonde. Their dormitories would be on opposite sides of the castle and the mere thought of not having Draco's smooth voice consoling him and soft hands stroking his forehead as he had a nightmare was making his chest clench with distress.

When Dumbledore had finally instructed them of leaving their possessions for the house elves and going to the Great Hall for breakfast, Harry's eyes widened. Dumbledore softly patted the boy's back and gave an encouraging smile before leaving, having many welcome back duties to attened to. In fact, Draco was amazed that he had even come that morning... It was evident he cared for Harry more than a father could for his son.

Harry sat on his bed slowly, a petrified gaze on his face.With one swift movement, he found himself being softly petted, hesitantly yes, but petted all the same. Draco let his soft fingers run Harry's silky hair as he let his face near the boy's ear.

The intimate touch was something new as both boys were still clumsy at showing their affection. Draco hardly initiated kisses as much as he would have liked to and Harry was too fearful of loosing Draco if he became to dependant. Sometimes, Harry wouldn't even talk to Draco, and Draco would miss the slightly hoarse vocals of his roomate, though knowing that what they shared was still uncomfortable even if it was something they both wanted completely.

The blonde let his lips form soft kisses along Harry's ear before trailing them towards his mouth, leaving a stunned but appreiciative Gryffindor staring back at him. With a slow, easy movement, Harry's hands were feathering across Draco's shoulders as he let his own ghost down the Gryffindor's sides.

Soft breathing erupted as their kiss broke. Harry's eyes were partly closed and Draco let his hand resume to petting the luscious black hair that hung over the hidden orbs. Softly leaning into the touch, Harry turned his head so that it was leaning on the other boy in a very close embrace.

They stayed like that for a while, both soaking selfishly into the care the other was emitting, both trying to feel as much as they could. Feeling was something he scarcely did, and Draco was finding it hard to stop.

x.x.x.x

Something sweet lingered in the air as Draco's day continued, though, he felt himself slightly feeling bitter towards it. As the Slytherin lay on his bed comfortably he heard the silence of his room perfectly. In fact, it was so silent Draco found it hard to breath.

The warm tingle on his skin was evidence that Harry's precious body had been so close to his own. He remembered his arms hesitantly returning the embrace, shyly bringing the boy closer to him. If it hadn't been for the fact that Draco had to return to the Great Hall, for the first time in days, he would have stayed on the cushiony bed forever, simply letting himself fall deeper within the trap in which he was already caught.

However, Draco felt the sweetness turn sour as he thought more and more about Harry. They lived in different worlds, two different people living with two different settings. He longed to be with Harry so much, in fact, that he felt the small whole in his soul that had been created in the first years of his life grow slightly, causing soft pains to fly through his chest. Creating overwhelming feelings of lonleyness to creep up on him when he least expected it.

Now that he had experienced affection and compassion from someone he admitted to caring deeply about, he felt himself surge with need and felt vulnerable. Leaving Harry and knowing that he wasn't to return to that beautiful room back to that beautiful face was like living his death. He wished he could have stayed forever in the isolated room with the yearning boy. The boy who needed his love as much as, if not more than, Draco needed his.

He wished he could wake up to the sounds of Harry's soft breathing in the middle of the night, and find one of those wide smiles on his face.

But, that was not the case. Not long after Dumbledore had left, Draco had dragged himself to the Great Hall, barely missing the disappointed gaze he had gotten from Harry. Throughout all of breakfast, the Slytherin watched as Harry's eyes, sometimes catching his own, would stare dismissively at his food.

Draco secretly wished he could sit down with Harry, slowly convincing the skeptical boy to take a few bites of food. Everytime he did, Draco would swell with pride and make the boy eat more, until he almost had a flush about his cheeks. Though, it disappeared almost right after, it had still been there and Draco would find himself longing to see the healthy stides of the boy once more.

Once Granger and Weasley had seated themselves next to Harry, Draco was almost relieved. The boy looked at them, a soft joy erupting in his clouded eyes, as they hugged him affectionately.

Draco closed his eyes breifly, wondering why Harry refused to remember. He couldn't help ask himself why Harry didn't want to remember his caring friends, even when seeing them cry over him. Even though Draco knew remembering would bring back all past hatred, in Harry's case at least, he couldn't help but remember Snape's words.

_I believe Harry's heart would be at ease if he could remember_

The Slytherin's chest clenched slightly. He felt a bit jealous that his own affection wouldn't ease the heart of the Gryffindor himself but at the same time he wanted the Gryffindor to stop quivering whenever another human being came in close contact with him.

With a soft sigh, he had continued on his food, his eyes meeting emerald pools almost every other minute...

Letting his fingers travel across his fine, silk sheets, Draco closed his eyes, remembering every intoxicating touch that Harry had let linger on his skin. He felt himself tense slightly, as realization hit that he was alone.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **It is still not all that great, and also extremely short, but I knew that if I continued, I'd have to add the next chapter into this one. That wouldn't have been such a problem except from the fact that the next one is in Harry's point of view. He will remember very soon, and so you guys, be ready for it!

Though this chapter was slightly depressing, I hope you guys still enjoyed it.

I'm sorry if you didn't, maybe the next one will appeal to you a bit more?

Shadow.


	11. Maybe

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Thank you for all the positive Feedback! This update is horribly late, and I apologize! But schools ending soon and I have so many assignments to hand in. Anyway, I tried to make this chapter longer, I'm not sure if it worked, haha! Well, hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven: **Maybe

x.x.x.x

Harry's eyes caught those of Draco's as he sat eating his meal in the Great Hall. The crowds of students all around him made him nervous and he stared at his food wishing Draco was with him.

The blonde was sitting in a totally different part of the Hall. At first, Harry felt slightly rejected, but as the meal went on, he realized Draco was doing almost as bad as he was.

Lifting a thin hand to grip his fork, Harry grimaced. The food looked very unappetizing with it's lumpy mashed potatoes and slices of thin, precisely cut ham. Looking to his right, he found a pumpkin tart and picked it up, feeling the crumbly pastry warm in his hand. Pulling another face, he put it on his plate, staring at it with sudden distaste.

As if he couldn't help it, his sorrow emerald eyes rose to the Slytherin table, travelling across strange faces and landing on Draco's tired face. He watched as a few stray hairs allowed themselves to flicker onto his thick eyelashes as he stared at his table, his head bent. Harry gazed at Draco as slender fingers brushed away only a few strands before falling back onto the table. Suddenly, the blonde head lifted and Harry found himself staring into stormy grey eyes, watching as they stared back, dimming out the rest of the Great Hall.

It was as if Draco was sending a silent message.

_Soon. We'll be together, soon._

Harry only hoped that it was true. He blinked and when his eyes were reopened, Draco's head was once again turned, staring at Pansy as the rosey-cheeked girl explained her Christmas Holiday. Harry's own eyes fell back to his food as his own holiday's played through his head.

Even though he felt completely vulnerable for letting Draco hear his broken voice, he knew deep inside, Draco would never hurt him. He was tough like steel on the outside, but if one was to dig deep enough, they'd find a scared boy. One who needed love.

One that needed Harry.

And Harry could finally admit to himself that he needed Draco too.

The meal passed by slowly and Harry sat alone, well aware that the rest of the table seemed to slide away from him. It wasn't much, just a few girls and even less boys. Most of the classes were merged together, all years together. The lack of teachers wasn't the only problem... There was also a great lack of students as well.

Harry's chest contracted painfully as his only memories of his past life surfaced. The small amount of students huddled together at the Gryffindor table looked permanently scarred. Harry's heart swelled with pain as he came to the conclusion that even though these few students hadn't died during the war, they had deffinately been hurt by it.

Harry's head lingered on his table before he sighed softly, reaching for his bag that rested on the floor in a large heap. He took out a book and his eyes glistened with something of hope.

Maybe one day... One day Hogwarts could return to normal. Even though his memories were gone, Harry felt a great ripple of power inside him that was his magic. He also had the strong feeling that Hogwarts, even with the destruction that had come to it during the hideous war, was more of a home to him then anything had ever been.

As Harry shifted in his seat, he felt a curious gaze land on him. His eyes met Draco's again and he looked away quickly, not able to stand the feeling that seemed to take over his chest. It was something he wasn't used to. It was a feeling that wasn't misery.

It was a feeling that made him feel complete. Maybe not completely happy, but complete in the sense that he wasn't alone. That he didn't have to face the world by himself. That he didn't have to face his memories by himself.

"Harry!"

The messy-haired Gryffindor turned his head around as the name was yelled from the doors of the Great Hall. A bushy haired girl was standing in the doorway, her hand waving towards him. She quickly ran across the Hall, ignoring the astonished looks that she was recieving, and enveloped the boy in a tight embrace. Lowering her arms she smiled, her eyes over-bright.

When Harry didn't show any sign of recognition, Hermione sighed, her face lifting into a sad smile. "It's me, Hermione."

Harry stared at the girl, remembering her very clearly. He felt like smiling, felt like talking, just like he had to Draco... But somehow, somehow his mouth became permanently shut.

Another quick hug and Hermione seated herself beside Harry, as there was large amounts of room, and started filling her plate while adding the odd thing to Harry's.

As if nothing had happened, Hermione smiled brightly. "Ron'll be here soon. He's upstairs writing home to his mother." Her smile suddenly turned less cheery and her eyes looked tired and sad.

Harry looked at the girl for a while before looking back down at his hands. The book was settled gently in his lap and he read the title, a soft feeling of warmth spreading across his insides.

_Quidditch through the Ages_

With a small, almost not-there, smile he turned back to Hermione who was watching him with a fond look on her face. Seeing his mouth turned up even just-slightly seemed to brighten her up and she gently placed a hand on his arm.

Ron chose that moment to seat himself across Harry. With a soft smile towards the redhead, Hermione nodded her head to Harry. Ron's face broke out into a huge grin and he looked into Harry's eyes happily. Apparently the smile was bigger then Harry thought.

With a quick glance towards Draco, Harry felt the feeling of warmth multiply and he looked down towards his lap, the hand on his arm stroking him softly.

Maybe...

Maybe remembering wouldn't be so bad.

x.x.x.x

The bedsheets crumpled beneath him as Harry sat on his bed, setting his glasses on his night table. It felt like eternity had passed since he had left that wretched hospital and come to Hogwarts. It was his first night away from Draco and Harry found it hard to sleep. Pressing himself against his mattress, the raven-haired boy tossed the covers over his body, his shivering subsiding.

His eyes drooped wearily as he tried hard to keep them open. It was as if Draco was his antidote. His medicine. With the Slytherin boy, Harry hadn't experienced any dreams, knowing the other boy was beside him. And when he woke up, even though Draco tried to hide it, he was always watching over Harry, as if protecting him. As if showing him that he had no reason to be scared.

With a soft sigh, Harry let his eyes close, lidding once-gorgeous emerald eyes. It hardly took minutes for his breathing to relax and his chest to rise and fall in steady rythm.

x.x.x.x

_Fingering his broom fondly, Harry turned his head upwards, staring at the summer's blue sky. Only few clouds lingered in the air, creating a slight breeze that toussled his messy black hair._

_With an embarrassed smile, he tried his hardest to flatten it, hearing the crowd cheer behind him. It was his first match since the ban Umbridge had set on him was lifted. The new captain and his best friend, Ron, patted Harry happily on the back, his face red from all the attention._

_"Great day for a match, hey?" He whispered, his freckled face lifting towards the sky as well._

_Harry grinned, the bristles of his polished broom bustling in the slight wind. "Perfect."_

_Madam Hooche's whistle rang out in the calm air, initiating hundreds of excited student's screaming. Harry vaguley heard the yells when his broom mounted off the ground, springing into the air with an elegance only he could pull off. The Ravenclaws, their current opponents, were whizzing across the pitch, a quaffle in their hands. Harry watched interestedly as Ginny, one of the new chasers, intercepted a pass and threw the ball as far away as she could to Seamus, who caught it speeding away._

_A huge smile on his face, Harry felt his spirits rise as he flew higher into the air. The pitch became just a small patch as he circled the feild, looking for the golden snitch. The wind, more furious than before, blew against his face sending pleasant shivers down Harry's spine._

_An immense feeling of ease came over him, and Harry let his hands move across the slender firebolt, a great amount of care present in his actions. Only flying made him feel this excited and content at the same time. With a grin on his face, he continued his lazy spirals in the air._

_Then, out of nowhere, he saw a glint in the corner of his eyes. Whipping his head around, he saw the snitch zooming away, fast as the speed of light. Harry quickly leaned forward on his broom, making himself more aerodynamic. Leaning as close as possible to the the wood of his broom, Harry sped after the snitch, his eyes blazing with determination._

_His hand was outstretched in front of him, grasping for the cool material that made the snitch. He could feel the wings beating rapidly, creating little winds across his fingertips._

_Closer. Closer... Just a little bit more._

_Harry grinned when he felt the round object touch his palm and quickly snapped his fingers shut. After a few protest flaps, the snitch stopped moving and Harry let his arm reach high above his head, the cheers of the pitch flooding his ears._

_"And Harry's caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins!"_

_With a sigh of affection, Harry stroked the firebolt lodged underneath him. It felt wonderful._

x.x.x.x

Harry's eyes snapped open. He felt as if someone had poured a hot liquid down his throat and it was slowly warming up every limb in his body. He closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of utter bliss his dream had left with him. He never knew that in his past life, he had ever felt so good.

In fact, it was the best he ever felt.

Biting his lip, Harry rubbed his scar. Just a thin, blood-red zigzag that sat on his forhead uselessly.

Even if he chose not to remember, his scar would always be there. Even if he refused to remember, his scar would always be there.

Even though he tried to rid himself of him past, he would always be reminded of it.

Letting himself fall back onto his pillows, Harry sighed. If his past life could make him feel so relaxed and wonderful as he did now in just a dream, and he had never felt anything like that before, maybe his life was worth remembering.

Maybe.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **Sorry for the late update! Schools a stressor!

Anyway, reviews were wonderful! I've decided to reply to some! (Ones with questions or some pretty awesome comments :)

**Anux: **Thanks :) I tried to make Draco seem reluctant to leave Harry without making it too Out of Character. Oh well haha.

**RedFox13: **Haha, aww! I love reading your reviews. They're just simply adorable and funny! I'm very glad my fics leave you giddy and wanting more! And I love making people smile, hehe! I hope you enjoyed Harry's Point of view. I hope you get the alert this time too! P.S I've read a lot of your one-shots, and I just want to say: Awesome, awesome writing!

**Makalani Astral**: I'm glad you didn't think it was depressing :) He did need to let it all out! And I know, I wish it could have lasted longer (them living together) but the point of it was to get them together... anything after that would have been a drag-on and quite boring...with no plot, haha. But don't worry, that wasn't the last of the two being together alone!

**LenJade: **One of the best! Well, now you're just making me blush ;) Here's your update, even though its not soon! Sorry, but hope you enjoy it!

**zoomaphonethepirate**: Even though your review wasn't hundreds of words, it had the greatest impact on me. You got it right on the dot! You explained the whole thing better than I ever could! You're right, it's completely simple and wouldn't mean half as much to anyone else. I'm glad you enjoyed this! I hope this chapter is to your liking! And beautiful? Aw thanks, I try :)

**Pure Blooded Slytherin**: Thank you! I hope this one is interesting as well! I'm glad you love the story:) It's really fun to write too!

**AloraBraken: **It actually brought tears to your eyes? Aw, that's so sweet! It's great to see my story is bringing out emotion to it's readers. You liked the kiss? Thanks so much! It took forever to write, but I didn't want to post it until it was absolutely perfect! I mean, Harry's very fragile and Draco's very confused. It was nice, slow and simple. It was also a blast to write! I'm totally a sucker for sap, haha!

**God-Damned: **Yeah, angst is one of my favorite categories to write, even though it isn't as original as it could have been. Thanks! Describing is the hardest part for me and sometimes i'm not happy with it! It's great to hear good feedback once in a while. And as for my spelling -laughs nevously- well, i've never been the best speller and I don't have microsoft word. I do use online spellchecks for all my chapters, but apparently they don't catch everything. I hope you don't mind the small errors. Most of them are probably typos, if anything! Sorry!

**Kaikiki: **You like all my chapters! Aw, thats nice to hear, considering some of them I'm not as happy with. I hope you liked this one as well!

**DemonsBlade: **It was pretty sad :( But it'll get a bit angstier, I hope you don't mind. Draco is feeling pretty lonley, but I'll see if I can fix that up ;)

**The-Ultimate-Reader: **Haha, short, simple and sweet. Here's your update!

**Mars Explorer: **Yeah, hehe sorry! It'll take a while for them to become happy, but I dont end my stories sad, so hey, don't worry about it! We'll get to some fluff soon.

**Queen of the weird: **Aw, thanks! Heres another chapter for yah!

**Aquilus: **Yeah, I was planning to put this story on a short little hiatus, but then thought better of it. The plot is a pretty decent one, and I have gotten so much positive feedback on it that I've decided it's worth another try :) Thanks so much for the sweet review! And Draco and Harry will have many more 'gentle' 'touchy' visits:)

**Thanks for the Reviews, you guys are completely awesome!**

Shadow


	12. He Can Feel

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Once again, sorry for the late update. I update whenever I can, and I haven't found a permanent time when I'm not busy. But, this chapter came really easy for me! That's a good thing! I mean, that means my writers block is slowly, but surely, fading. However, this isn't one of my best chapters. I've stumbled into a sap-filled part of this fic, but that's perfectly fine, since it will hopefully satisfy your needs for fluff for a bit... I do have some angst in store for you guys! Which, although it sounds horrible, should be fun to write. I mean, angst usually turns into a whole bunch of sap... and that's when you feel the emotions the most, right?

Anyway, I did a sort of confusing thing in this chapter. I've changed the point of view slightly in the middle... But not from Draco to Harry, from Blaise to Draco. Blaise is just a filler, I mean, with Draco suddenly being depressed and whatnot, we've got to get the Slytherin input right? And who better than precious Blaise Zabini, hm?

This chapter, as I stated before, isn't one of my best, so please try and enjoy it. One day, I might decide to revamp it a bit, but at the moment i'm pretty content with it. Try to be patient with me! I know, it's hard, but, hopefully, it'll all pay off :)

Well, lastly, Thanks so much for your reviews! They're incredible! YOU guys are incredible! Replies are at the bottom ;)

**Chapter Twelve: **He can feel

x.x.x.x

Draco sighed softly, fingering his bedsheets lazilly. The sun poured down on his blonde hair, streaking it with gold, as the blonde continued to occupy himself with the silky green bed covers. Lowering his head, allowing strands of his hair to stream across his forhead, Draco watched the slow movements as his nimble fingers as played with the smooth fabric.

Blaise watched his friend, shocked. Two weeks ago, Draco had been as cocky as ever, pushing his way through the halls, smirking at frightened first years and picking fights whenever he could. The Slytherin was never one to be weak and as pathetic looking as he was now.

Draco was as fashionable as always, his appearance up to standards with his silky school shirt and handsome black slacks. He also had his velvet cloak draped around him, as winter was not yet over and the dungeons seemed to trap all the winds and blow them at your skin at the most unfortunate moments. However, his form wasn't as cold as it usually was... He didn't seem to be annoyed by the world, only affected by it like an actual human. Blaise frowned. Draco had always been something of a statue, never compared to something living with feelings.

Theodore seemed to be thinking along the same lines because his voice was heard from his bed, sounding slightly stunned.

"Draco, you've been acting quite strange since we've come back. Was spending the holiday's alone at Hogwarts really that horrible?"

Blaise smirked suddenly, watching Draco's eyebrows knit together in a thoughtful frown. Of course Draco had been lonley, all Slytherins had gone home for Christmas, but he never knew Draco as the type to express his feelings like _this_. Theodore was an idiot, that much was for sure.

In fact, Blaise was expecting Draco to reply with one of his witty remarks, a quick snap and the matter would be over with. Life would be normal. But life was never normal... Not for anyone these days. Draco proved that with his reply.

"No... It wasn't horrible." Changing the subject suddenly, he looked up from his deep green sheets and his fingers stopped their repeating motions. "Potter stayed back, you know."

Theodore snorted and Blaise looked over to the boy, watching as he pulled a sweater over his sandy brown hair. "Of course Potter stayed for the holidays, Draco! Where else would he go? Though I'm sure St. Mungo's psychiatric ward misses him."

Blaise looked towards Draco, his eyes thoughtful. Theodore was much more insensitive then most Slytherins, and Blaise felt suddenly very guilty for even hearing that statement. It was a pity really, that Theodore had grown up to be almost as heartless as Draco himself... The fact that his father had made him get the Dark Mark was a Slytherin secret and although it had disappeared once Voldemort had died, the sandy-haired boy was spiteful towards the whole world. Especially Potter and Voldemort, who he blamed for creating the war.

But as Blaise studied Draco's eyes, he felt his blood run cold. They were horribly silver, shining brightly with anger. A blazing anger, the type that looked as if it could control the winds, put out the brightest stars and extinguish the sun. His jaws suddenly twitched, his pale skin turning a shade of pinkish-red that had hardly ever been seen on a Malfoy. Blonde hair suddenly looked as if it was as deadly as a knife itself and steely grey eyes clouded with a furious emotion that surpassed anger... That was beyond rage. It was a passionate storm in the brewing.

Thedore seemed to realize that he had said something utterly wrong and stopped mid motion of pulling his hands through his sleeves. With a confused gaze towards Blaise, he let his eyes travel towards Draco, who was seething, trying to contain his anger but failing horribly.

"Draco?"

Said boy jumped off his bed, his wand in his hands. It was shooting sparks off randomly, one of them landing on the ground, stirring up a small flame. It died quickly and Theodore's attention was brought back the the violent object in Draco's hand. There was silence for a minute before Draco suddenly disturbed it.

"Take that back, Knott!"

The words were hissed through clenched teeth. Draco's eyes narrowed as he stepped one step forward, his shoes a striking sound in the quiet room.

"I said... Take. That. Back."

Blaise watched the scene with his mouth slightly open, his eyebrows arched and a sudden nervous twittering in his stomach as Draco's words came out strangled. It would be a hopeless fight for Theodore if he didn't comply to Draco's command.

"I... I..." Theodore, like all Slytherins, had his pride. But it quickly disappeared as Draco neared, taking another step. "I take it back!" He yelled, his words icey. With that, he quickly finished putting on his sweater, buckled his belt and bolted out of the room.

With a quick glance towards the closing door, Blaise returned his calculating gaze on his best friend. He was slowly calming down, his flesh paling into that wonderful milky tone it had and his hair somehow molding back into it's original beauty. With a steady breath, Draco put his wand back in the folds of his cloak and fingered the Malfoy-crested clasp fondly.

Staring at Draco, Blaise realized that the cold, collective boy had just yelled at one of his best friends over Harry Potter. It wasn't long before the dark-haired boy started to question Draco. It wasn't long before Draco suddenly realized what he had done. With an almost nervous glance towards Blaise, Draco sat back down on his bed.

"Draco." Blaise started, his voice curious instead of the anger Draco had expected. "It seems over the holidays, without us Slytherins to influence you, a certain Gryffindor has captured your interests."

Draco's head snapped towards Blaise, a nasty sneer on his face. "Potter? My interests - "

"And, for some reason, I can't help but wonder if your interest in the boy has caused you to form a friendship with him... as unbelievable as that sounds." Blaise interrupted.

"Blaise, listen to what you're saying. Me, Draco Malfoy, friends with Potter?"

Blaise detected the almost invisible tone of fright in Draco's voice and he clenched his fists, his confusion making him angry. "Draco! Seriously, you can't be trying to hide it! In fact, now that I think of it, you and Potter did glance at eachother quite a few times at dinner last night."

Draco's face paled, though to anyone other then Blaise, it would have been unnoticable. "I don't know what you're going on about Blaise. Potter will always be Potter, to me, and nothing more. Ever."

With an almost amused glance towards his friend, Blaise smirked. "I used to envy your lying skills, Draco... But now it seems as if you couldn't lie if your life depended on it."

Draco's eyes blazed. "Nothing is going on between me and Golden-boy! So shut your fucking mouth, Zabini!"

Blaise raised an eyebrow, wondering why Draco, who was usually so good at controlling his emotions and hiding behind his indifferent mask, was letting his emotions run wild.

"Actually, Draco, that show with Knott over there says quite differently. In fact, dare I say it, I could have sworn you were defending Potter. It's actually quite unnerving, really."

Draco's eyes were molten and Blaise watched the flames build up until Draco's eyes looked as if they were about to explode with the intensity of the heat that was currently blazing inside of them. With a soft sigh, and his suspisions confirmed, Blaise leaned on his elbows, his comforting bed supporting him.

"Theodore's a bastard, but even you have to admit that Potter's not completely sane."

Draco's eyes seemed to soften and the fire subsided, leaving mist and something that Blaise almost categorized as sympathy. A soft, gentle, caring kind of sympathy.

"He's not. Not sane at all."

Blaise nodded, the sullen mood contagious. "Though who would be... After all, he did go through more in an hour then the average wizard would in a lifetime."

"But he's not psycotic! Not one bit!" Draco said, his anger suddenly flaring. "He's... he's the exact opposite. His feelings... they're so much stronger then anyone i've ever met. They- They're like..." Draco paused, searching for words to explain what exactly he thought of the Gryffindor. "He's just. He-" Draco closed his eyes. "He can feel. That's all that matters."

Blaise watched Draco stunned, his own sapphire eyes searching Draco's grey ones for any sign of sanity. Any sign that he was still Draco Malfoy, Slytherin leader, king of cold.

He couldn't find one.

"Draco..."

The boy suddenly looked over the Blaise, his robes fluttering with his sudden movements. The mask was back in place and Draco's next words came out in a drawl.

"But that doesn't change the fact that he's Potter. That he'll always Potter. Nothing can change that."

Blaise didn't believe one word, but nodded his head anyway, finding his world suddenly much more confusing then it was last night.

x.x.x.x

As the Christmas holiday were over, classes resumed and Hogwarts returned to it's busy state. Most students occupied themselves with their studies and were ecstatic for the return of classes. Draco... Draco was just thrilled to be able to see Harry again.

Potions was Draco's first class, and the blood in his veins seemed to flow faster then normal. His face was flushed with something closed to excitment. It had been a whole entire weekend since the return of Hogwarts students and Draco hadn't properly talked to the Gryffindor since those few blissful hours back in the secluded room. _Their_ secluded room.

There was a catch however. Theodore had informed the Slytherins of what had happened that one morning when Draco had been feeling something close to miserable. He had explained it thoroughly, and to Draco's annoyance, with a large amount of exageration. But, most Slytherins didn't take what he said into account, seeing as how Draco had denied it and they much rather believe him then poor Theodore.

But Blaise knew the truth. He knew every thing had happened and he knew that Draco had formed an odd relationship with Harry... As much as Blaise tried that day to hide the fact that he was suspicious, Draco knew. The dark-haired boy had been avoiding Draco for the majority of the weekend and it worried Draco endlessly.

But, banishing those thoughts from his head, Draco stared at the heavy doors of Snape's chamber before striding inside with his usual confidence. And there, sitting far back in a corner by Granger and Weasley, was Harry. His face was staring out an enchanted window, his eyes glistening with a new hope that Draco noticed lingered there. Forcing his smile down, Draco sat in a seat near Goyle, his eyes staring straight ahead of him, instead of to the right where they would lock with Harry's.

Snape had partnered up the class and Draco awaited his name nervously, hoping that Snape had the sense to put Harry with himself. He was absolutely sure the Slytherin head knew of Harry's attachment to him, and was even contemplating whether Snape knew about their relationship.

The potion's master had developed a sort of soft spot for the Gryffindor anyway. That much was confirmed when Draco heard his name accompanied by Harry's and slowly moved towards Harry's table, aware of Blaise's burning stare and Ron and Hermione's outraged hisses at their professor.

As soon as Draco sat at the table, he felt a feeling make it's way through his body, tingling every limb, until it slowly reached his eyes, lighting them up with sudden joy. Harry gazed at Draco half fearful, half- pleased.

The lesson started in silence, but soon bubbles of conversation broke out and everyone was chatting away, the hiss of the cauldrons adding to the noise level. Finally, finding it safe enough to talk, Draco turned to Harry who was ignoring his task of cutting roots and staring at his lap.

"Harry?" He whispered.

The dark head snapped up and Harry stared at Draco as they absorbed the others needy dependence.

Soft fingers crawled into Draco's hand and the blonde sighed, continuing stirring the cauldron. The fingers that were entwined with his own stroked his palm softly and he smiled, not being able to contain the feelings any longer. He let his pale fingers brush up Harry's wrist before slowly tickling back across his hand.

"Harry." He whispered again, their hands tightening against eachother.

The Gryffindor slowly met Draco's eyes and smiled. "Draco." He said softly, his voice drowned out by the hiss of the cauldrons and the noisy conversations of people around them.

The two continued working in the dark corner, isolated. Everyone else sat huddled in the middle of the room, while Draco and Harry continued to show eachother their affection by soft strokes and hesitant touches, the class oblivious.

Searching his dimmed emerald eyes, Draco smiled, his broken smile. A soft noise in the cauldron erupted, cutting through the silence they created, but they ignored it.

Harry smiled back. His smile was much more broken then Draco's, his voice was torn and raspy, his eyes were blackened and his skin was scarred. Draco made a mental promise to never try and fix any of this, because this was purely Harry. Harry at his weakest, Harry at his strongest.

It was just Harry.

And nothing mattered anyway. All that mattered was...

Harry could feel.

He could feel Draco and how much the Slytherin adored him.

He could feel the soft fingers laced with his own.

And most importantly, he could make Draco feel.

What was more important then feeling?

Draco decided that nothing was. Nothing could ever be as important as this.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **Another chapter for you. I tried to end it intelligently, but it didn't quite work out, haha. But that's alright... I'm pretty happy with the ending, even if you guys arent! Hopefully you enjoyed this, and are patient enough to read the next. Sap, I know, but we'll see what I can do about that!

Well, you guys are awesome! Here are your replies, my lovely, lovely readers!

**RedFox13: **Your welcome! I'm glad his POV was fun, and I hope you like Draco's! I was guessing after all the suffering I put Harry through, he deserved a _little_ happiness! And of course he gets to see Draco soon! I'd be crazy to keep them apart longer! They _do_ deserve to be together, but what's a story without a little drama ;) Your review was wonderful, thank you very much! (you're very adorable you know that:)

**Kaikiki: **Aw thanks! I have always thought Ron and Hermione to be such wonderful friends! Even though some authors don't like them and usually kind of isolate Harry away from them, I find they are very important and love how they're so loyal to poor Harry. You're right, Harry does remember a lot of bad things and many more then the good... but he's quite confused as to what he wants right now. He doesn't want to remember, but Draco, Hermione and Ron make him feel safe enough to almost-want to. If that makes any sense, haha.

**Anna: **I love angst too! It has gone deeply into fluff right now, I hope that's okay with you. The story has probably reached mid-point and the angst will heighten again soon, so don't worry, it's not all just pointless sap from now on ;) Thanks for your compliments and your review!

**Sezza Rikda: **Beautiful? Aw, thats a very large compliment to me and I'm very flattered :) I like to torment the two, poor boys, but they do need eachother, and that's exactly how I'm trying to make them feel. Knowing you understand that makes me all warm and happy inside! Thanks for the review and hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Makalani Astral: **Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! It's reviewers like you that make me feel like writing through my tiny block. The remembering... That's a part I've got all planned, and am extremely excited to write about! I hope you enjoy this chapter and everyone after it!

**MoonstarDust: **Cute? Thank you! I really like writing romance and cute romance is one of my favorites:) It makes you feel like crying in a good way, I hope! I'm glad it can bring emotion out in you and that's a HUGE compliment, so thank you so much!

**LenJade: **Thanks for the review! Here's your update!

**AloraBraken: **You're right, it was a chapter full of emotions but not much action. I'm glad you've read the story this far and appreciate your review :) They'll always get back together, hehe, keeping them apart is not something I like to do.

**Dieu Anonyme: **Harry's the absolute hardest to write about, in this situation, so I'm very happy that you like the way I'm writing his memories! You're feelings are most-likely right... I mean, he's had a pretty harsh life... and his feelings towards Draco were very different from what they are now. And, I know what you mean about not wanting to remember... That's why he's so confused. He wants to remember all these nice things about his 'past-life' but knows that with the good comes the bad! I'll try not to make it so fluffly, though that's exactly how it is now, haha. But the thing is, the story has only reached mid-point and the angst will come back soon. This is just how the story needs to go because I've just developed their relationship and want to keep on adding to it until they've felt they need eachother more then anything else. Then, haha, it sounds horrible, but then I'll take them apart. And you think you're sadomasochist? ;) Thanks for the review, and your suggestions! You're wonderful.

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **I'm glad you're enjoying it! And I hope you like this chapter as well! Thanks for sticking by the story, my loyal reviewers (like you) are the push I need to continue! Thanks for the review and your wonderful compliments! You're so sweet :)

**Marauders-Lover: **Thanks! Here's the more, even though it wasn't really all that soon! I hope it's to your liking!

**Tabbymogpuss: **Aw thank you! The emotional part of the story is the most important and I'm glad I'm not doing too horribly with it! I'm glad it was sweet, and that you enjoyed it! You're welcome, though really, it should be I who is thanking you for spending hours reading my story!

**mah-angel-frum-heaven: **In this story, Harry will retrieve his memory but, how soon, I cannot tell you because even I don't know. The story kind of flows by itself. And what he thinks about Draco is a secret ;) Don't want to give _too_ much away. Thanks for your review!

**Lane666: **Aww! That's such a sweet reivew :) I'm really happy you love the plot! It's original? Thanks, I always thought it was a bit played-out, but hearing that makes me swell with giddy-ness! As for Harry and Draco being adorable... aren't they always ;)! I know exactly what you mean.. I've read a lot of stories where it starts to fast or takes like, 30 chapters to begin. I'm glad you think my story started at a believable pace and am really pleased and flattered :) I will try to ease poor Harry through it and trust me, nothing will be normal after his memory returns! Thanks for your lovely compliments and the ultra-sweet review (And of course for adding me to your favorites list! I feel honored (and big-headed ;)

**-Tikadie-: **Yeah, I guess I was a bit unclear in that chapter. Harry didn't remember everything, and "Tell-me-Your-Name" must have got confused, which I'm totally sorry for. Oh well, what can you do... I just have to remember to be a lot clearer from now on! Thanks a lot for the review, heres the update! Hope you enjoy :)

**Princess of the Tomb Robbers: **Aww thanks! A great writer? You guys just love getting me all embarrassed, don't you ;) Heres your update, hope you enjoy it! (Love your name, by the way :)

**LivetoDie: **Finally decided to review, huh? ;) Spelling is a major issue for me, but i'm coping. How did you like the chapter, hm, personal critic of mine! Hah, romance! It is totally my favorite genre, deny it as much as you want but it's yours to:) Devious aren't I, for keeping my name a secret. Too bad is right! Don't spoil my little anonymous fun, kay ;)

**Dragon Tears Wing: **Thank you! Your threat really got to me! I don't like suffering wraths of anything, haha, much less an angry tall goth! Here's your update, thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

**Hannah: **Thank you! Yeah, I know! Harry and Draco are just so irresistable, aren't they! Here's the update! Hope you like!

**Solo D. Maxwell-yuy: **Thanks for all three reviews! Even though they're one-worded ;) they're very sweet! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Reviews were very awesome! I love you guys, and you're all just FANTASTIC! They were such wonderful compliments, that I'm blushing ;)**

_**-Shadow**_

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	13. The pensieve

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Woah! I'm SO sorry! I'ts been what, more than a MONTH since I updated? You guys must HATE me! I'm truly sorry, but school's a killer... I've just finished my second exam and have only a few more to go, then summer starts and the updates will be MUCH more frequent...

I have gotten past the icky writers block and present you:

**Chapter Thirteen: **The pensieve

x.x.x.x

Dumbledore gazed at Harry over his half moon spectacles, all amusment and trickery gone replaced with an air of seriousness. He watched as the young man before him stared determined at hands, and Dumbledore almost felt he saw a bit of the old Harry flicker past Harry's face.

He contemplated what Harry had said, and knew that the Gryffindor was doing all he could to prove that he could handle it. To prove that he was ready. Dumbledore wasn't so sure. He studied Harry's deadened orbs and the lines of sorrow that dug into his tired face and saw the wisdom that lingered in his steady gaze. It was sometimes eerie for Dumbledore to think Harry knew more than even he, at his young age.

"Harry."

The young man snapped his gaze upwards, locking eyes with Dumbledore's silvery blue ones. They were filled with a sort of helpless hope, yet blazed with a secret fire that brought the tiniest bit of color back into them.

Dumbledore had always known that remembering would be the best thing for Harry, as being plagued by dreams that would never fade and the forever souless eyes that had swarmed and banished the once pure emerald ones were hardly what a boy of his age should endure. He knew that one day, Harry's memories would return to him once he was ready, once he could handle it. He never thought the boy would show up in his office, pleading to have his memories returned to him. It was absurd almost, that he would calmly request what he did, after seeing the horrible things he had once gone through.

But then again, his life now was hardly better. His best friends were worried constantly about him, hardly letting a smile grace their faces. His body was weak and confused, as was his mind as it tried to process what was going on around him, and where all these new memories came from. The only thing that was purely Harry was his soul, and even his soul was blackened, deadened and battered. Yet somehow, sometimes, like this one perhaps, Harry's soul would break through the cage that witheld it, releasing his emotions and somehow bringing the savoir of the entire world back again.

Finally, after an internal battle, Dumbledore rose from his cushioned chair, sighing as he did so. He knew that Harry needed to remember, in order to keep his sanity, but it was a risk as the old memories could somehow even force Harry into deeper insanity. But living as an empty shell, void of emotions, hardly being able to exprss himself... Dumbledore knew that that was not Harry's true nature, that the boy was determined, strong-willed and a fighter. A fighter that would always win, and even though it was hard to admit, a fighter that was now old enough to handle life without Dubmledore's guidance.

Walking to his own pensieve, Dumbledore brought it forward, placing it gently on the table. The orb was swallowed with mist creating an almost mesmerizing sight, that held Harry captive before he looked up to Dumbledore, the fire of hope in his eyes blazing incredibly more bright, making the old wizard smile before concentrating on the task he was now set to do.

"This is my pensieve, Harry." He said softly, making sure Harry was listening carefully before he continued. "Actually, your pensieve since you were sixteen."

The boy's eyebrows knit together before he steadied his gaze on the sphere as the insides swirled with elegance. "Mine?" He whispered slowly, his voice almost as whispy as the gliding mist that lingered in the orb. "This? This is mine?"

Dumbledore knew there was no turning back, he knew that now he had to help Harry remember. His past, his life, his mind, his body. His soul.

"When you were sixteen, Harry, you trusted this pensieve to hold your memories. Inside this orb, you will find your past, maybe things you didn't even know about yourself. Inside this pensieve, you will find what you crave, what you desire. But, Harry, listen carefully... Once you remember the memories will stay with you forever, and nothing can change that." Dumbledore said softly, his eyes watching as the boy nodded, his eyebrows furrowed together with determination.

Dumbledore closed his eyes, hoping that he was doing what was right. For all of Harry's seventeen years, he had done what thought was best for Harry, what he assumed would keep the young boy safe... But now, now it was Harry's turn to lead his life. He was not the young, niave boy anymore.

He watched as Harry slowly closed his eyes, nearing the pensieve, almost hesitantly. And then Dumbledore waited, knowing the process would be long but hopefully, worthwhile.

x.x.x.x.x

Harry stared at the Hogwarts Castle doors with confused eyes. The Entrance Hall was unusually silent, and he waitied, wondering what Dumbledore had done to him.

Just as he was starting to worry, the doors opened, revealing the thunderstorm that lingered behind them. Dozens of students entered hesitantly, deciding that even the sorting ceremony was better then the rain. Cloaks hid childish faces, dripping with water as the cluster of students dirtied the once spotlesss floor.

And then it happened. What had caught Harry's attention was a mop of ginger hair and he quickly turned towards it, finding Ron who gazed wonderingly at the large building. Moving his gaze a little the right, Harry sucked in a breath as he saw himself. He was young though looked so much the same. His short unruly hair framed his face, cut in sharp, uneven ends. His face was bewildered and worried as he looked around the castle. He was exactly the same except for the brilliant glow that his emerald eyes held.

Harry closed his eyes, overcome with a feeling of need. Overcome with the feeling of want. Desire to once again become that innocent child. Wanting once again to be normal.

But just like he had forgotten everything else... He had forgotten that he was never normal.

x.x.x.x.x

Severus Snape stormed into the Dumbledore's office, his face furious, his eyes haunting and his breath heavy. Though, Dumbledore had expected it...

"Good evening, Severus. Please take a seat."

The potions master took a seat, trying to control his temper. It was then when he caught a glimpse of the pensieve and his eyes widened, before returning to the Headmaster's calm gaze.

"His past?" Snape finally choked out, his eyes still large and slightly worried.

"Severus, Harry requested he remember. What was I to do? Deny him what he wants... possibly what he needs?" Dumbledore said slowly, his voice steady.

"But, Albus. I'm almost positive that he's been changing... His life is finally coming back to pieces... He's rebuilding! I have concerns, obviously about what you are doing! What if his new life is better than his past one?" Snape said loudly, his beady eyes searching Dumbledore's blue ones.

"Would he have requested his past, if that were the case?"

Snape's voice faltered and he thought for a moment, before defeatedly sighing and resting on the back of his seat. "What about Draco, then? I have reasons to believe that he can mend Harry... Bringing his memories back in a more," he paused. "Natural way."

"That is what I had been hoping, and it seems that they have become quite close with one another. Certainly, one day, Draco could bring Harry's memories back... But what if that day is too late? We both know, have both talked about it enough... Harry is not complete without his memories. He is broken without them." Dumbledore said, his voice steadily reaching a sorrowful tone.

Snape narrowed his eyes, before conjuring himself some tea, trying to steady his breath. "I know." He said, his voice tight. "But, Dumbledore, surely you know that he wont remember anything from his new life... That everything from his first day back, to the very exact second he went through the pensieve... He won't remember anything."

Dumbledore's mask suddenly slid off his face and his despair was free to show itself. He nodded, before turning towards the pensieve. "I know that, Severus. And it's the one thing I'm afriad of."

x.x.x.x.x

**A/N: **This chapter, I rather like... but it's a totally different concept from what you have been introduced to from the beginning of the story. So Harry's getting his memories back, it's kind of fast paced, but this is the chapter I have been waiting to write since the beginning of this story! I'm so relieved! This story is about half way done...maybe even three quarters, which is a bit of a relief to me, I must admit :P

If you don't understand the ending, it tells us that Harry won't remember anything after hte war... Which mainly means his and Draco's relationship. This chapter was a bit of a boring filler and I admit, it probably made you die of bordum with it's dullness, but the next chapters will be much more exciting, I promise :)

Thanks for the reviews! They were awesome and I'm very lucky to have such wonderful readers! ;)

Shadow.

**RedFox13: **As long as it's in the same year, hey? Well, hopefully I can manage that much :P Fluffy/Angst is the perfect mix! I try my best to write it and am incredibly happy you enjoy it! The hand holding was a bit of a risk, I admit. I'm trying to make their relationship go slowly, and make it believable, and hand holding is a bit out of character for Draco... But I'm really, really glad you liked it :) And, of COURSE I love your reivews, who wouldn't with your hyped up attitude! ;) (And you're right, reviews are excellent medicine for writers block :)... P.S. After reading your review, I got the biggest craving for mashmellows, haha! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks lots for the review!

**Mah-angel-frum-heaven: **The slytherin's will find out about Draco soon... how soon? Even I don't know yet... the story kind of writes itself :P Thanks for the review!

**ConfusedHeart: **Thankyou! I'm so glad you loved it, cause I was going through writers block while writing it! This chapters a little less... Fun, I know, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

**Fudgebaby: **Thanks! Heres the chapter, I hope you like it :)

**Kaikiki: **I haven't read many fics with Nott, so I chose him to play the role. I'm glad it fit:) Thanks for the wonderful review, and I hope you enjoy this one too! (P.S, thanks for making me realize it's "Nott" not "Knott", ;)

**Anux: **Thank you for the reivew :) I'll try to fit some more fluffly bits into the fic, but write now the "angst" part of it is starting up again. I'm also glad you liked "Harry can feel" I try and help you understand their emotions as much as I can! Heres the update! (Hope its what you're expecting!)

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **I'm glad you're sticking by me! ;) Even after my insane update schedule :\! I'm glad you liked the potions scene! I tried to make the readers as well as the characters know what eachother was feeling, because I think when you can feel what a character feels in a story, well it just makes the fic that much better! And your compliments are making me blush ;) Thanks so much for the review!

**Princess Of The Tomb Robbers: **Thanks! I'm glad you like them :) These stories are for readers like you! Heres the update, though it is kind of (REALLY REALLY) late... :P Thanks for the compliments + the review, and I love yah too ;)

**Werecatgurl: **A new reader! That's awesome! I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones to come! Thanks for the review ;)

**Makalani Astral: **I know, Draco doesn't do that often does he! (Well in my fics he doesnt ;P) Blaise is suspicious, true, and I can't wait to see what happens either ;) Thanks for the review, and hope you liked the chapter:)

**Tastukitty: **Thanks! I am a big fan of the bittersweet emotions... :P And even though you might not think so, you taking the time to review is an inspiration to me in itself ;)

**Myr: **Thanks:)

**Volleypickle16: **Thank you! I hope this chapter is up to your standards!

**AloraBraken: **Keeping Draco and Harry apart is like torture! Isn't it? They'll kiss again I can assure you! But how soon? Well, for that you'll just have to wait and find out ;) Thanks for the review, and I tried to check out the trialer but my computers crap and it wont work :( Well, it'll be on t.v soon enough (hopefully :)

**Lenjade: **Thanks! To answer your questions: Talking to other houses is still not openely accepted because even before the war, the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's didn't get along. As far back as Salazar and Godric, the two houses had been at feud, so that's still following the story line jkr has created. And Draco is possesive, but he's also very unsure about his feelings and confused about the change that's happening within him. He also respects and cares for Harry too much to gloat that he had won over an "Insane Harry Potter". Those were really great questions! And I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter... (Thanks for asking them, cause I think it cleared up a lot to not only you, but to me as well ;) And seperating them, I agree, isn't the best, but it works for my plot.. So I'm doing the best I can with it. Thanks a lot for the review and taking the time to give me some advice, that I will deffinately incorporate into the story. Heres the chapter, a bit dull, but unfortunately, necessary :P

**Manny2003: **Thanks:) Here's the next one!

**Son of twilight: **Thanks! I'm happy to know you're enjoying it :) (Thanks for the cooking as well, I was really craving something sweet, though your review did fufil that craving quite nicely ;) Here's the update, enjoy :)

**Tabbymogpuss: **No where! Fluff rules us ;) The other peoples point of view does sort of add a nice complexity to the story :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the wonderful review!

**Livetodie: **You liked it! Aw, thanks ;) I know, it was pointless, but I'm glad you found it adorable. I do update slow don't I :P This one was MAJOR slow, but you know how school is. (The math exam was WAY TOO HARD, wasn't it?) And radish-head? What a lovely comparison ;)

**Skimmie: **Here's the update ;)

**Saber Shadowkitten: **Thank you! I love making my readers mushy ;) Here's an update!

**Itsasledgehammer: **Awww! That's so sweet! Read it OVER again? Thank you SO much :P I'm sorry if I didn't update fast enough, and I hope this chapter is good enough :\

**Lanne666: **Aw thanks! Envy me? Really! Haha, don't worry I wont think you're a suck up, but it does make me all giddy to hear your wonderful compliments, so thank you very much :) Here's the update, though it's not soon. (And don't worry about late reviews, I myself, obviously, aren't great at doing things on time)

**SBR: **Heh, aw :P I really like the angst/fluffy combination, and I'm glad you enjoy the story :) Thanks for the review!

**Atrinoisa: **Thanks :) Here's the update! Hope you like!


	14. Remember Our Love

**Title: **Speak to me

**Setting: **Seventh Year, Hogwarts

**Rating: **R- Slash, violence?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HP

**Summary: **Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)

**Authors Notes: **Oh wow. It's been a while hasn't it? I'm really sorry, I never meant to make you all wait so long. I know, I'm horrible, but sometimes I just don't find the inspiration I need. I'd rather have amazing chapters then dull, boring ones that only took an hour tops to write. Also, I had a little roadblock... So I hope you all don't hate me. :\ (More notes at the bottom)

Shadow

**Chapter Fourteen: **Remember our Love

x.x.x.x

A soft light seeping through the slightly opened blinds In the Slytherin dorms reached Draco's eyelids and he slowly pulled himself out of bed. The sun was overly bright that day, and an overwhelming feeling of joy tightened his stomach, to the point he was almost smiling openly. Looking around, he found that most of his dorm-mates were already gone, their beds made neatly. However, he looked towards Blaise's and found the boy's bed slightly wrinkled and his trunk laying open at the foot of his bed. A school uniform, freshly washed, was sitting slanted on his pillow and Draco frowned, turning his head, looking for his fellow Slytherin.

Suddenly, the sound of running water reached the blonde's ears, trailing from the bathroom. Then, dressed in white robe, Blaise emerged from the doorway, drying his hair with a navy blue towel, his eyes finally finding Draco.

"You're up late." He stated simply, before resuming his walk towards his bed.

Draco's frown lifted and was replaced with one of worry. He grabbed his wrist watch from his night table and groaned when he found out breakfast was almost over. He didn't care about missing breakfast, no not one bit. He did care, however, that he was supposed to meet Harry earlier that morning.

"I- I've got to go." Draco said quickly, pulling on his shirt and a clean tie from the clothes that lay folded neatly on his dresser.

Blaise's eyes narrowed, watching as Draco worriedly disappeared behind the bathroom door. He set his towel on his bed before starting to get dressed for that days classes. Finally, his dorm-mate entered the room, looking fully cleansed.

"Where are you going?" Blaise said, his voice suspicious. "Breakfast just ended, we still have a few minutes before class. There's no point going to the Great Hall."

Draco's eyes flashed with brief annoyance before he spun around on his heel, his indifferent mask in place. "Oh yes I know, but I'm starving. I thought I might stop by the kitchens and grab something to eat before heading down to charms." He said coolly, though his insides clenched in fear of missing Harry before the Gryffindor went to class.

"Oh right then. Just one second, i'll come with you... I'm quite hungry myself." Blaise said slowly, clasping the clips of his robes together with sharps snaps.

"No- I mean..." Draco paused, his eyebrows lowering slightly. "I'm just going to get something quick, Blaise. Why don't you just go-"

"You're meeting him, aren't you!" Blaise said finally, his hand lowering from the silver clasps of his robe and landing swiftly at his side. "You're meeting Potter, _again._" His voice was accusing and Draco felt his teeth clench.

"Blaise, we've already gone through this discussion. I'm not going to see Potter, why would-"

"Don't play games with me, Draco." Blaise said, his voice rising considerably. "You think I don't notice? Do you really think I'm that stupid? I've seen how you treat Potter, and frankly, it's making me sick."

Fear gripped at Draco's insides. If Blaise knew, he would likely tell all the Slytherin's who would make Draco's life a living hell. "I don't treat Potter any special way."

The dark-haired boy snorted, staring at Draco. "I've watched you two in class. I _know_ what's going on between you two."

"It's none of your business, Zabini!" Draco shouted, finally snapping. There was a startled silence and Blaise's eyes bore into Draco's once again.

"So you admit it." He said softly, his voice cold and unforgiving.

"So what if I am seing, Harry." Draco said crossly. His hand slowly reached into his pocket and he grabbed hold of his wand. "Do you have a problem with it?"

Blaise's eyes dropped down to Draco's pale hand that was almsot white with the force he gripped his wand with. Finally, the two former best friend's eyes locked. "You're abandoning your friends for _him?_ You've known us for more then seven years, and him for a few weeks, and you're choosing him? A Gryffindor who put our families in azkaban, the Golden boy that was the cause of death to my father, among others!"

The blonde's eyes met Draco's steadily. "Our parent's killed hundreds more people then Harry ever did."

Blaise's eyes flashed, and his face flushed slightly. "I don't know what Potter's done to you, but you've changed. You're whole life, you've always said you hated Potter, always said that you'd do anything to be the one that gets to wipe that smile off his face." His voice lowered into a deathly whisper. "You've always blamed him for your father's death."

Draco's eyes widened, as he remembered fighting for the lightside to destroy Voldemort, but never once supporting Harry. The Golden Boy had been the one that trapped Lucius in Azkaban. The one that led Voldemort to believe Lucius was weak and the one that led to Lucius to his death.

But he knew now, that his father was the reason for hundreds of deaths. That his father was one of the reason's Voldemort's power grew to the point he was almost immortal. That his father would have done anything to be the one to destroy Harry forever.

And it had taken Draco almost forever to realize it... But if he needed anything, it was Harry. And if he had to choose...

He would much rather have Harry beside him, than Lucius Malfoy.

Turning towards Blaise, Draco lowered his wand, his voice calm. "My father's death was his own fault." He said slowly, his eyes studying the boy in front of him.

Blaise looked stunned as his eyes steadily became wider. Then he swiftly left the room, his robes sweeping out the door. Draco knew that Blaise Zabini was his best friend no more.

But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. All that mattered at that moment was...

Harry was waiting for him.

So Draco rushed down the stairs and ran towards the Great Hall.

x.x.x.x

_Harry sat on Professor Mcgonagall's classroom's windowsill, watching his former 12-year-old self chew softly on the end of his quill. His eyes were dull as he watched the scene before him, thinking about what he had seen so far and what he had learned about his life. _

_Ron and Hermione, were indeed his best friends, just as they claimed to be._

_Dumbledore was still the overly cheery man who couldn't help but always look on the brightside._

_Snape was still the greasy git that scared the hell out of Harry._

_However, Hogwarts was fighting. Constantly. Slytherins against Gryffindors. He didn't look into it as much until he found out Draco had been a Slytherin himself... and a very nasty one at that._

_With a soft sigh, and a dreading feeling in his chest, Harry watched himself a while longer in a bored silence as the innocent boy ran a hand through his messy hair._

x.x.x.x

During Charms, Draco was incredibly put out. He _had _missed Harry that morning, and was stuck in a class with a midget professor and a bunch of _Hufflepuffs_. He groaned irritably, wondering how he ever thought that this day would be a good one.

When that class was finally over, the blonde perked up considerably, realizing his next class would be Potions and he would finally get to see Harry. He quickly made his way into the dungeons, that same smile threatening to grace his face and this time, he had troubles holding it back. When he reached inside, class hadn't started yet, so he sat down next to Pansy, constantly checking his watch.

"Draco, what's wrong?" She asked sweetly, her eyes following his as they landed on his wrist watch for the hundreth time that day.

"Hm? Oh, nothing." He said once again, frowning slightly.

It was that moment Blaise chose to enter the classroom. He ignored Draco completely, instead dragging Pansy away to a table with Theodore Nott. Draco felt his teeth clench, as he heard whispery voices and felt Pansy's eyes burning into his back.

A few minutes later, Granger and Weasley entered the classroom, both looking incredibly worried. Waiting for Harry to appear, trailing behind them, Draco waited.

And waited.

He waited until Snape stepped in front of the classroom.

He waited still, as students bustled around, starting their potions.

He waited. And waited.

He waited for Harry's soft face to appear in the doorway, shy yet confident at the same time.

But it never came.

Harry never came.

And Draco suddenly felt very alone.

x.x.x.x

_Wiping away tears, Harry watched his thirteen-year-old self talk to Sirius, almost feeling the same joy his younger version felt as Sirius invited him to live with him._

_He knew why he was crying, of course. Memories flooded his mind, causing his breath to hitch. How amazing Sirius had been to him, how he helped with even, what Harry thought, were the silliest problems. How he would tell him stories of his and James' past... How he acted like the father he never had, but always longed for._

_Then, like always, he remembered Sirius' death. How it was so sudden- So unexpected. He remembered how Sirius Black managed to look so graceful, even when dying- his back arching elegantly and his blue eyes twinkling with startled amusment._

_With a soft sniff and a shuddering sigh, Harry watched as his life played out in front of him. There was a soft howl, and Harry's attention was brought to the werewolf that bared it's teeth, fangs flashing in the full moon's light._

_He watched as Remus and Sirius fought._

_And began to sob louder, as Remus' comforting smile and soft gaze clouded his vision. Remus, his mentor, his guide had died as well._

_And Harry suddenly felt very alone._

x.x.x.x

"Granger, Weasley!" Draco called throughout the deserted hallways, after hours of following the couple trying to get them alone.

Ron was the first one to turn around, his ginger hair flickering in the slight movement. His face was pale and weary as he clutched onto Hermione's hand, to the point his knuckles were a ghostly-white.

"Malfoy?" Hermione asked timidly, surprise evident in her voice.

There was a pause and silence enveloped the corridor, Draco trying to muster up the courage to ask what he had practiced for hours in his head.

Not being able to stand the silence any longer, and being the impatient person he always was, Ron narrowed his eyes, his hand reaching for his wand before pointing it at Draco square in the face. "If it's a duel you want, then find someone else. I'm not in the mood, don't provoke me, Malfoy."

For once in his life, Draco found the Gryffindor slightly intimidating. He quickly sucked in a breath before looking Ron dead in the eyes. "I'm not looking for a duel, Weasley." He said rather politely compared to his usual sneering self. "In fact, i'm looking for something entirely different." With a slight pause, Draco continued, his heartbeat quickening. "I'm looking for Harry."

Ron's eyes widened as he tightened his grip on his wand. "What for!" He practically yelled, his face becoming even paler. "I'm not going to let you hurt him, he's been through enough without you-" His voice suddenly wavered then died, as his eyes, if possible, became wider. "What did you call him?"

Hermione was looking at Draco strangely, as if seeing him for the first time, and the blonde shifted in her gaze. Finally, she sighed, her eyes glossy. Draco realized that they were always glossy, as if she was always silently crying without tears.

"Last time we saw him was when we dropped him off to Dumbledore's office earlier this morning." She said softly, feeling Ron's grip on her hand tighten. "We haven't heard from him all day, we were just off to see Dumbledore right now..." Her voice trailed off as she turned her head, studying Ron's furious face.

Draco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Harry was probably having one of his heartfelt talks with Dumbledore, and was probably in no danger at all. He felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulder, but after watching Ron and Hermione in an uncomfortable silence, he knew he still had many problems to deal with.

"What do you care, anyway?" Ron said, slightly more calm.

Draco chose that moment to start walking away in the opposite direction, a muffled "I just do." being carried across the hallways.

The redhead looked startled as he turned his head towards Hermione.

Hermione on the other hand, felt a small smile grace her lips and she slowly tugged Ron's hand, walking towards the gargoyles guarding Dumbledore's office.

x.x.x.x

_Harry shivered in the coolnight, watching the his fifteen year old self sleep fitfully, mumbling abusrd things every now and then. His memories seemed to get steadily worse, from the unconcious Ginny in his second year, to the cold body of Cedric in his fourth. _

_Watching his former self interestedly, he felt his emotions well up inside him, travelling to his eyes once more. He furiously wiped his tears away, wondering why he couldnt ever control his feelings. He hugged his knees to his chest feeling himself shudder once more, thinking about his life and what it had become..._

_Then of course, he remembered Draco. _

_Or better known: Malfoy._

_A hatred knotted in his stomach, and he started to sob once more, realizing how much pain Draco had caused him. How he had tormented him without caring the slightest. _

_He realized now, that Draco wasn't an angel sent to protect him, to care for him, like he always thought. He realized now, that he wasn't lucky for someone as wonderful as Draco to come into his life, making him feel elated and surprisingly joyous. _

_He realized now, that Draco was someone he thought would treat him right, but instead, he played games with Harry's mind. And Harry couldn't help but feel that Draco was playing games with his emotions and that the Slytherin didn't care for him like he claimed._

_He began to feel that all the shy, clumsy moments they shared meant nothing. That all the soft, hesitant touches were all just a fragment of his imagination, and while his feelings for the blonde were real, Draco's feelings were not. _

_He couldn't help but sob furiously into his knees, his hands combing through his hair, and his heart slowly breaking._

_He also couldn't help the fact that, as hard as he tried not to, he still cared deeply for the blonde._

_Finally, with a sudden realization, he raised his head, staring at his fifteen-year-old self intently. Who ever knew that, that same boy would fall in love with Draco Malfoy._

x.x.x.x

Draco stared that the canopy of his bed, a tiny smile on his face. He had lost all his friends, lost his reputation... his power. He had lost almost everything.

But he still had the one thing that was most important.

He still had Harry...

And Draco finally let himself smile that same smile that threatened to leak through his cold facade all day.

Losing friends like the ones Draco formerly had was a small price to pay for the feeling he now felt.

The incredible feeling of love.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **Once again, I'm really really sorry. I hope you guys are still devoted enough to the story to read it. I tried to make this one a bit longer to make up for the lack of updates and my horrible meaness of making you all wait, but I know it's not even really that long :\

I love all my reviewers AND readers. I'm very glad you all enjoy the story, and hope this chapter was one that kept you interested. I finally made them fall in love. Well I suppose they were always slightly in love, but I've finally gotten them to admit it:) This chapter was a hard one to get into, but once I did, I really put my soul into it, I hope it shows.

Love you all lots,

Thanks so much, and sorry for my horribleness in updating.

**RedFox13: **Another fun to read review! I wasn't feeling all that well today, so your review was a real pick me up! Thanks for always staying cheerful ;) The angst is my favorite part to write, and you can be sure it's only just begun! And it was a good filler? Really? Thanks a lot! I was hoping it wouldn't bore the heck out of my readers. Thanks for the wonderful review!

**Son Of Twilight: **Haha, school SHOULD die:P But thank goodness I've finally reached summer! I know, sometimes I do horrible things to poor Harry and Draco, but oh, i just can't help it! ;) Oh and thanks for the cookie! How did you know I had craving for chocolate ;)

**Draconius Harold Weasley: **Thanks! I hope you like this one too. Well, this chapter's probably answered your question haha, but just bits of his memory.

**Celeste Jacobs: **You're right! Love never ever comes easy. I really love the way you worded your review, I agree completely! Thanks so much for the review!

**Dieu Anonyme: **Haha, wasn't expected? Well, that in itself is a compliment! I love keeping readers on the edge of their seats :P And of course, happy endings all the way! Thanks for the review!

**Alora Braken: **Snape's part in this fic was already played out, but I kind of do want to add him again. Though I kind of want Draco to be surprised when he finds out, not prepared. :P I'm actually planning on seeing that movie anyway! I've seen the teaser trailer for GOF and it's making me crazy with curiosity! haha. Thanks for the review!

**Draysgirl1: **Aww, thank you :)

**Dark Angel's Blue Fire:** Here's the update, though i know it's not soon. I'm really sorry, but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the review!

**Makalani Astral: **I know, my chapters are always a bit short :\ I apologize. I know, this chapter hasn't shown their confrontation yet, but I hope it was still enjoyable. Thanks for the review. P.S I love being evil ;)

**Anux: **Aw thank you:) I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Rachy: **Angst is wonderful, when written properly, hey:) Thanks so much, I loved your compliments! I admit I've never read that book, but I'm curious to find out about it! Maybe i'll read it one day.

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **Aw thank you :) I know, I like a little sadness in my fics, because then the happy parts are that much better! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**ConfusedHeart: **Aw friends only? You'd really be satisfied with that? Haha, i wouldn't :P Thanks for the wonderful compliments! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well:)

**Edwards-Ebed: **July 2nd? Yikes, I'm really late aren't I :\...Actually I started writing this chapter as soon as I got your review, but deleted it, cause it was so horrible. I tried, though I did :( And i'm really flattered that you read all thirteen chapters! It made me really happy! Thanks! I love you:-) Here's the update, I hope its good enough for yah ;)

**Alejandra: **I know, it was a big change! It was a bit twist in the plot, and very exciting to write :) I actually want Draco to be unprepared, because I have the perfect scene in my head! I know, it's cruel, but It'll be worth it (I hope!) Thanks for the review!

**Princess Of the Tomb Robbers: **Aww! You're very welcome! I think all my wonderful reviewers deserve a thank you note (They deserve even more than that!) because of reading my story and supporting me:) I'm sorry I haven't updated that quickly, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And your ultimate favorite story? Well, now you're just making me blush (even more then I was with all these other wonderful reviews!)

**Sadi: **Haha! I'm sure he will be too :P (Thanks for reviewing :)

**SBR: **I know, I update very slow ;\ I'm terribly sorry. My chapters are always short, I try to make them long but somehow it doesn't work, haha. This one, I believe, was a bit longer. So yeah :) I hope it's an okay size for you! And you enjoy angsty angsty HP/DM romance too:-D it's awesome, isn't it! Thanks so much for the great compliments!

**Thetigersfire: **Here's the "more" you were waiting for! Hope you enjoy :)

**Tabbymogpuss: **Yeah! It will be a huge turning point. Aww, thanks for the compliments :)! You guys get me all giddy! I did do pretty well on my exams! Thanks a lot:) Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**xox-Rachelle-oxo: **Aww! Thanks so much! And don't worry, I can't stand seing Harry and Draco apart for too long! ;) Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Lanne666: **That's alright, haha. Here's another late update as well x.x! And I'm very flattered that you'd read my story at 3am:) Don't worry, I don't like killing things, so don't fret ;) Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope you liked this one as well! (And your review was great, no worries ;)

**KaiKiKi: **Aw thanks! I love getting all the positive feedback (Even the negative makes me happy) And I love when I check my mail and see a wonderful review from some of my wonderful readers! And of course you didn't offend me! It was actually very nice of you to correct me, otherwise I'd be the fool spelling the name wrong ;) I've been to the HP lexicon, actually, and let me tell you, its an Amazing site! (Well you probably already know that ;) Thanks for your wonderful compliments! And I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Dark Angel Kira: **Heh, your review was very entertaining :) Poor pet rock, I used to have one you know. (It was quite neglected, but I didnt think it noticed anyway.) I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And i'd love some cookies. Virtual treats are THE.BEST. ;) Thanks for the review! (and for brightening my day a little bit with the humor ;)

**Like Totally Like: **Here's the more! Thanks for the review :)!

**Wretchedstar: **Aw i'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, your review is the review that inspired me to write. I realized that I've been making you guys wait to long, so I made myself a promise to finish today. And I did! I hope you're not disappointed! I'm flattered that you check everynight and I hope I can get the new one out soon! Thanks for the review and the push ;)!

THANKS TO ALL MY READERS/REVIEWERS! I love you guys to death:)

**Shadow**


	15. Our White Winter

**Author's Note: **Finally, another chapter! I'm actually slighty proud of myself.. I updated within the same month! Hurray for me ;P Well, this chapter probably isn't a favorite. And I know it's summer and I'm constantly writing about winter, but I hope you agree, that it fit's and that if I were to start writing about summer and how sunny it were outside, the story's mood would definately be different. I'm not sure if the story's almost done or not. I usually get my ideas late at night, curled inside my covers and may I add, way to lazy to get a piece of paper and write them down. Some of them stick though, and I might find something more to add to the story. I've become very attached to it, and am rather enjoying writing it. Romance and Angst are as good together as Ice cream and cake. Or dare I say, Harry and Draco.

Well, enjoy the chapter. And an amazing thanks to all my reviewers! Notes are at the bottom. You guys are truly wonderful, and your support is what makes this story. Without you it would probably be as facinating as a block of cheese.

**Chapter Fifteen: **Our white winter

x.x.x.x

Soft pillows cushioned his head while he could feel a silky material fluttering in his clenched hands. Gusts of wind seeped through what must have been an open window, flickering across his face, sending shudders down his spine. Finally, he opened his eyes, his vision blurry. Taking in a deep breath, he sat up, noticing he was not in his dormitory nor in St. Mungos, the last place he remembered being in. He was also not at Grimmauld place, the manor he expected to wake up in.

Shivering slightly, cursing the open window that let in the chilly winter air, Harry reached over to the night table that lingered beside his bed and scooped up his glasses in his hand. Placing them securely on his nose, he closed his eyes yawning, finishing with a long stretch that seemed to awaken his weak limbs. Finally blinking his eyes open, and clearing his vision, he took a look at his surroundings, feeling a gasp leave his mouth and a sudden jolt of joy spread through his chest.

"Hogwarts?" He whispered, letting his fingers trail across the silky bedspread of the familiar hospital wing. He could recognize that room in under two seconds, having spent more time there than any other place in Hogwarts.

It was unbelievable, being back in the large castle that had been home to him for so many years. He gave a watery smile to himself, as he felt the cotton of the nightclothes sit in folds on his body. Looking intently at himself in a mirror sitting across from him, he sighed, noticing how he had lost weight and looked more sickly then he ever had.

But he did notice, however, that his scar was still firmly in place on his forhead. Grimacing, he put his head in his hands, thrusting his fingers in his hair. "It's still there?" He asked himself, his voice ringing out in the silent room.

"Is what still there, Harry?" Answered a kind voice, surprising the raven-haired boy immensly.

Looking up, Harry found himself staring at an old wizard that had been his guide and mentor for so long. Smiling just slightly, he sighed running his hands against his forhead.

"My scar."

His voice was bitter, yet understanding and he sat back down on his bed, feeling the warmth of the cushions spread through his limbs.

Dumbledore smiled and sat down on the bed nearest Harry's. Slowly he exhaled, ready to explain any questions Harry had, knowing he would remember nothing of the past few months.

"Your scar will always be there. It's a part of you now, Harry."

Harry's smile dissolved as his eyes looked thoughfully around the room. "It's a memory."

"Your memories _are_ you, Harry. They'll always be a part of your past, but the past is history. You'll remember it, but you cannot let it guide your life. Live your future based on the present, not on what happened long before." Dumbledore said softly, hoping to guide the conversation away from memories, memories that seemed to control the youth's life.

Harry gave a small snort. "The wars over, the world needs me no longer. And they'll always haunt me, all those deaths-" A pained expression swept across his face before he looked pointedly away. "They'll always remind me of what happened and why it happened--"

"None of those deaths, Harry, were your fault." Said Dumbledore sternly.

"Hmm." Harry said absent-mindedly, staring out the window. His tired body slowly stood up and felt himself wince with the effort. When had he become so unhealthy?

After what seemed eternity of silence, Harry sighed, letting his fingers trail lazilly across the frosted pane of glass. "When did I get here?" He asked softly, his fingers stopping in their slow movements.

Dumbledore thought his answer over a few times, before taking a deep breath. "A few months ago."

Harry's head whipped around, his fingers sliding down the cold window, creating scar-like patterns. "But-but I woke up in St. Mungo's just last night-- I..It was only..." Looking closely at Dumbledore, he let his fingers slide back into place by his sides.

Dumbledore nodded, clasping his hands together. "I brought you to Hogwarts the next morning, and you've been living here ever since. But you had lost your memories of all the years before while in your stay at St. Mungos..." Dumbledore said slowly, hoping Harry could comprehend what he was saying.

"You mean, I didn't remember anything?" Harry's voice said, slightly trembling.

"You'd remember some things, but very horrible things." Dumbledore said absent-mindedly, hoping Harry caught on.

He seemed to have understood for his eyes slowly drooped as he walked towards his bed, sitting with his back faced to the old wizad. "How did I forget?"

"You chose to forget."

Harry frowned, resting his hands on his knees. "It can't be that simple."

Dumbledore sighed. "You somehow locked your past away, Harry, you didn't remember anything. It was as if you were born again, with a few memories of a past life."

Harry snorted. "Then now, all of a sudden, I remember? What did you do? Dig through my head and force me to? You realize I don't want to remember, Dumbledore. I want to forget."

The wizard nodded, remembering the conversation he had with Harry long months ago in St. Mungo's hospital where Harry had explained this exact thing to him. The next day, he was found with no memories of his past what-so-ever.

"Wait a minute, then..." Harry said suddenly, his voice leaving it's angry tone and replaced one that Dumbledore was relieved to hear. His usual curious, yet concerned tone. "Why don't I remember any of this?"

Dumbledore chose his next words carefully, while Harry slowly turned around to lock eyes with the old headmaster. Finally, he nodded, and cleared his throat. "We brought back your memories using the pensieve." He started slowly, watching the pale youth's face for any change in emotion. "It erased all your new memories and replaced it with your original memory. Harry, everything is back to normal now, everything is fine. The war is over, Voldemort's gone, live your life like a free man." He said softly, watching as Harry took a deep breath.

Suddenly, looking slightly joyful, Harry turned fully around, his spirits still high at the fact he was back at Hogwarts. "Where are Ron and Hermione?" He asked softly, a small smile on his face.

Madam Pomfrey chose that moment to bustle into the room, with two very worried looking student's behind her. "Only five minutes, you two." She said sternly.

Ron rolled his eyes at Hermione before stepping closer to Harry, who noticed with soaring spirits that both his best friend's hands were linked, gripping onto each other. "Hey, mate." Started Ron nervously.

The raven-haired boy turned his gaze from Ron to stare at the whitish snow that still poured down on the Hogwarts ground. Pale, white and stormy. For some reason, the picture brought a surge of warmth through his bones and he smiled, the cold, grey of the winter weather melting into a caring warm blaze as the wind flickered against the milky sky. It was as if the sight was a memory in itself, a memory of soft touches, warm kisses and soft grazes from the hair of purest white.

"Hi Ron..." Harry said dreamily, before turning his gaze back to his friends.

x.x.x.x

Draco sat himself at his usual seat, right in the middle of the Slytherin table, with an air of elegance and superiority. Just like always, he was proud and dignified, ignoring the strange looks he got from everyone at every other table.

For, Draco was sitting completely alone. The rest of the Slytherin's had migrated to other portions of the table, keeping at least five seats between them and their former prince. However Draco ignored it, collecting himself some toast and lightly spreading some marmalade ontop of it. Looking as if he thought nothing was out of the ordinary, he bit into it, before pouring himself some tea.

Soon, the regular gossip started to bubble around the room and Draco sighed, keeping his posture and looking almost bored. The other Slytherin's sneered at him, but he ignored it, keeping to himself and politely continuing his meal. Finally, feeling the staring dissolve, Draco felt it safe enough to meet those emerald eyes that made him feel like everything would be fine; that everything _was_ fine.

He hadn't seen the object of his affection for two days, and was feeling almost desperate to see that pale face filled with poorly hidden adoration and a need greater then anything he'd ever seen. With an almost invisible smile, Draco let his cool facade melt into a true emotion, one that he'd show only to Harry alone.

He let his silver eyes take in the form that left him breathless. It was almost funny how Draco found the scrawny, messy-haired boy who looked incredibly sickly, breathtaking. But he did. He found everything about the Gryffindor pure and gorgeous. Meeting those emerald eyes was all he needed for now, all he needed was to see the familiar care that was always showing itself, and he'd know that everything was worth it. That Harry was worth it.

Suddenly frowning, Draco noticed something. Something that he hadn't before- Harry was talking to Hermione enthusiastically, and both looked quite happy. Granger, Draco noticed, looked so happy she was on the verge of tears.

But that wasn't right. Harry chose to talk to Draco and Draco alone because he trusted him. Sure, he must have trusted Ron and Hermione a time before now, but not anymore. At that moment, Harry should have been talking to only him, only him because he cared for him above all things.

Just like Draco felt Harry was the only thing that mattered.

Feeling a bit worried and neglected, Draco went back to his breakfast.

x.x.x.x

"...great to have you back, Harry. We've missed you so much." Hermione said in her watery voice, as she continued to pile pancakes on Harry's plate.

The raven-haired boy smiled slightly before lifting his gaze to meet his friend's. "I guess i'm just glad it's over. We can finally move on, you know?" His voice was raspy and faded, but as he continued his conversation, it started to regain the strong, boyish tone.

Hermione nodded the mood shifting slightly into one that was more mournful. They paused for a minute, Harry taking a huge bite of his food. He ate his breakfast as if he hadn't eaten in months, which he remembered, was highly possible.

"Where's Ron?" He asked finally, his voice devoid of emotion. He didn't want to let these deperessed emotions show, not in front of those who expected him to be strong and full of courage. Not in front of people who thought him as their savior.

There was another pause as Hermione slowly filled Harry's goblet with more pumpkin juice. "Writing a letter to Mrs. Weasley, I expect" She said softly.

Harry seemed to have understood because he pressed the subject no more. Then, Hermione casually shifted the subject to school, homework and how much they'd missed Harry. Harry smiled slightly, before feeling a burning gaze directed at him. Immediately, he suspected Snape and rose his head to stare at the staff table. Though Snape was talking to a short, stalky man that Harry didn't recognize. It was then he remembered most teacher's were part of the order, and most of the order was dead.

His throat closing, he turned himself away from the painful sight and felt the gaze intensify. Turning his head, he caught a flicker of white, but as soon as it had blurred his vision, it had disappeared. Harry looked towards the enchanted ceiling, noticing the snow kept falling, and somehow, he felt more at ease.

x.x.x.x

Draco leaned against the corridor wall that led to the Gryffindor entrance. He was hoping to catch Harry just after his free period, knowing Ron and Hermione were in classes and the boy would be alone. Just as he suspected, Harry walked around the corner, his head staring downwards and his shoulders slumped.

"Harry?" The blonde whispered, his voice laced with affection and warmth.

The Gryffindor's eyebrows knit together in a frown, before he lifted his gaze and saw Draco standing against the wall to his right. His frowned deepened when Draco smiled softly at him.

"Malfoy?"

Pain seemed to well up in Draco's chest, but ignored the peculiar behavior of the usually affectionate boy.

"Are you feeling alright?"

Harry noted the question was said with acutal concern. He frowned before answering. "How do you think?" He said sarcastically, looking closely at the Slytherin in front of him.

White hair, grey, stormy eyes and the most pale, milky skin he'd ever seen.

The smile was off Draco's face in a matter of seconds and was replaced with a sort of bewildered, hurt, angry expression. "I guess... Well, after all you've... I mean- Harry you're acting very strange." Like always, frusteration got the best of Draco and he stared at Harry almost accusingly.

"Me? I'm acting strange?" Harry said, the stress and closed emotions he'd been holding in, slowly seeping through his emotionless, montone voice. "What about you? Asking me if I'm feeling alright, when everyone knows the Great Draco Malfoy could care less."

Draco blinked in surprise, before slowly stepping closer to the only person he had adored and cared for more then he could have ever cared for anyone else. He was trembling slightly, as if he wished it all to be some sort of sick dream, willing the hurt in his chest and the pain slowly spreading through his body to go away. Willing Harry to stop acting like this, like he didn't remember anything. Like they were enemies once more.

"Harry..." He said desperately, reaching for the boy's hand. "You're- you're not in your right mind... You should probably get rest and-"

"-Stop it!" Harry cried furiously. He wanted everything to go back to normal... He didn't want Draco Malfoy, of all people, to give him pity. Pity that he surely did not need. Pulling his hand away, and staring at Draco almost revolted, he turned away. "Stop it."

Then he disappeared down the long hallway, leaving Draco quite alone.

Slowly seating himself on the hard floor of the corridor, Draco stared in front of him, his eyes wide and his chest rising in panic.

His white as snow hair; pale as the wintry sky, skin; and furious as a storm eyes, slowly melted into one thing.

Pain.

A pain so terrifying, he didn't want to face the world.

A pain that hurt so immensly he felt his body numb.

The pain of something he'd wanted for so long, something that he'd grown to love, ripped away from him.

Pain of the worst kind.

The pain of betrayal.

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **I love my reviwers/readers! Thank you very much, hugs to you. I'll try to get the next update A.S.A.P

**redfox13: **It seems bad for Draco doesn't it? Well, I'll have to fix that ;) This review made me laugh, you're quite the hyper one aren't you? Thanks for the tip, I'll be sure to stuff my face with sugar at the first opportunity I get. Though, I've been rather fond of peanut butter lately... And marshmellows ;P As for your question: I had no idea it was a DDR song! I'll have to make sure I find that one and get my friend to play. (She's much faster with the footwork than I.) I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll try to update more often. :)

**AislingSiobhan: **Aw thank you :) Well, lets just say Harry wont be brushing off Draco for long. Well, not _that_ long ;) Thanks for the review, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Dark Angel Kira: **Haha, your reviews are way fun to read. I love them. Thanks for making me laugh ;) Here's the update, and thanks for the cookie. (Sorry Spike ;))

**Like Totally Like: **Aw thank you! I love you for reading _and_ reviewing. You're very sweet :) P.S I'm rather fond of peanutbutter chocolate chip cookies. ;) Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **You know, I'm finally getting used to typing your pen-name ;) Thank you for the wonderful compliments, they were very sweet and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I hope this chapter is up to standards.

**enns: **Aww! Thank you so much! Have you read HBP yet, though? I know a lot of people who have changed opinion about Draco because of the book. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, you are _way_ too sweet. I hope you liked this one as well!

**SBR: **Thank you! You could be a great summarizer, you know. Your review pretty much summed up that chapter ;) I hope some of your questions were answered in this, because if I answer the other ones.. Well, you wont have any suspense! I'm glad you like the story, and I hope you like the next few chapters (and this one) as well :)

**SLNS: **I'd never! They're just too cute together for me to break them up. Heh, thanks for the review :)

**Manny2003: **You got it exactly right! I like to be mean to Harry and Draco, don't I? Oh well, I'm sure they'll be happy soon...;) Here's the update, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the review ;)

**Makalani Astral: **Thanks for the review :) Here's the update! Hope you enjoy it!

**xox-Rachelle-xox: **Aw thank you! I think admitting your love is a huge step in a relationship, that's why when I finally get them to say it, it's all dramatic and huge. ;P Here's the update, I hope you enjoyed the chapter :) Thanks so much for the review!

**Miriam Mrirund: **Aww! I'm glad you thought the wait was worth it! I know, I'm horrible at updating and it's good to know that you're still reading, no matter how annoying I get with my gaps in posting, heh. And you're reading it over! That's a huge feeding to my ego, I can feel my head getting bigger as we speak ;) Thanks for reviewing!

**Anux: **Aw thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic! Here's the update, it's not quick, I know, but I'm trying heh. I'm horrible with updating :\ I'm sorry!

**AloraBraken: **Aw thanks for the compliment and the review! Did you enjoy the HBP? It was different, hey? (It was rather slashy, without being slashy.. you know what I mean? I was expecting hundreds of fics to come out for the sectusempra chapter.) Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**SaintEmo: **Oh wow, thank you so much! That review definately made me blush, it was so sweet! Now, I can only hope that this chapter was up to your expectations, and hope you enjoy it :) Thanks once again!

**WritersPassion25: **Oh don't kick me! I like hugs a lot better (for future reference ;) I'm glad you're staying neutral, and I hope this chapter was up to your standards... I know, i'm worse to Harry and Draco with every chapter, but that only makes the ending that much more dramatic! Don't you think? Anyway, thanks for the review and for sticking with the story :)

**AmorLunaris: **Here's the update! I can't stand unhappy endings, so this will probably end happy enough, heh ;P I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope this one is up to expectations.

**Nony: **I tried to update sooner this time! I hope this isn't too huge of a gap! I'm terrible at updating but I'm glad you're still sticking with the story! Thanks for the review, and I'll try to update faster :P

**Silver Emerald Eyes: **The length of your review was flattering before I could even read your words. Praise or critism someone who spends time giving me a review that actually has paragraphs makes me giddy! I know exactly what you mean though! When school was still going, I was beyond stressed, and all that public speaking didn't help at all! ;P Aw thank you your compliments are going to have me red all day! I know, my spelling is horrible, but i'd say it was pretty good for not using word and a measley internet spell checker heh. But you're right, my spelling does need tweaking. LOTS of tweaking :P Thanks so much for the review, you've left me with a sated ego! I adore you!

**Volleypickle16: **Thank you! Hope you enjoy this one as well!

**Son of twilight: **Aw thank you! And a bag of cookies! Boy my reviewers are going to get me all fattened up! Here's the update ;) Hope you enjoy!

**ConfusedHeart: **Aww thanks so much! I know, Harry's life has been hell hasn't it. And you've given me some very nice compliments all the way through my story, and I'm very grateful! BTW, did you like the HBP? Lots of shipper moments, hm? Well thanks for reviewing, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**LenJade: **Ack, sorry. I hope you're not dead, I hate when I accidently murder people ;P I hope you enjoyed the chapter (If you're still alive that is . !) Thanks for the review ;)

**theTigersfire: **Aw thanks so much! And you're welcome (You're very polite you know)

**Princess Of the Tomb Robbers: **Aw thanks! Here's the update not too quick, but quicker then the last! Hope you enjoy it!

**TabbyMogpuss: **I like writing sad things, obviously ;P Thanks for the review! I'm really gald you're enjoying it :) And HBP was good, wasn't it! It's going to be so sad when it's all over!

**DarkRemembrence: **Aw thanks:) And ri is a very cute nickname for Harry, I must say! You're very sweet ;P Thanks so much for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**AncientHistory: **Okay ;P! Here's the update, enjoy!

**itsasledgehammer: **Aww thank you very much! I'm glad you find it all those things, and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Thanks for the review!

**Edwards-Ebed: **Thank you! I hope you this was fast enough for you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I loved your review! And I don't mind if you cling to me ;) Thanks so much!

_Shadow_


	16. Pain is Love Love is Pain

**Author's Note: **The notes are mostly at the bottom, I only have on thing to address in this one ;)

_Why wasn't Harry told of his stay with Draco and why wasn't Draco warned of Harry's memories coming back?_

Well, lets start off with Harry. Harry had been through a lot, and the one thing that's always been the same and will forever be the same (or so he thinks) is his feud with Malfoy. Dumbledore thought it would be hard for him to comprehend the thoguht of living with Draco and actually enjoying his company, and once again lead him to the stress that made him feel the need to forget in the first place. Also, Dumbledore wanted Harry's life to be as normal as it could be, and enemies suddenly becoming lovers was far from normal.

Then why wasn't Draco warned? The easiest explanation for this is I didn't want him to be. I didn't want Draco to be prepared or ready and wanted the first time he heard of it to be by Harry's actions. This way, the story is more dramatic, and Draco feels more pain, which leads to this chapter. (Which focusses on the pain and love that Draco feels) But I can hear you all booing and holding your tomatoes ready to throw them at me for my cruelty to the boy, so I have further explanations: Dumbledore, and especially Snape, did not know the level of the relationship Harry had with Draco. Snape only paired them up with potions because Harry had spent so much time with Draco to the point he was the only person he felt comfortable with; SS witnessed this when he visited Draco's and Harry's room over Chritmas. Dumbledore also didn't know the intensity of the relationship and his mind was hardly focussed on Draco at the time, he was purely paying attention Harry and Harry alone.

I know you guys still are grumbling under your breaths about how it was utterly mean of me, but without that happening in the story, Draco would have been to prepared and the angst woud be too watered-down (if you know what I mean) But hopefully the explanation was enough to get you to lower your tomatoes (and other objects you were planning on throwing) and ready to read the next chapter.

Thanks too all my reviewers; i've said it many many times, but I'll say it once more: You guys make me blush to the point I look like a tomato myself!

Love and hugs to all.

Shadow

**Chapter Sixteen: **Pain is Love; Love is Pain

x.x.x.x

_You're weak. How could you ever be so weak._

_You've betrayed me. How could you ever betray me._

_You're not my son any longer._

Draco stared at the ceiling of his dormitory, feeling the wind flicker slightly around the room, causing his hair to flutter, the short strands just landing at his ears, tickling his eyes. The dream about his father was still vivid in his mind.

_Everything I've taught you gone to waste. _

_The power I taught you to hold has diminished._

_And you're weak. So bloody weak._

He was weak. It was the only explanation for him being tangled up in his bedsheets, the haunting wind rustling against the fabric and the only reason he was sitting alone, isolated from anyone else, avoiding the Slytherins and Harry at any cost.

_Your dignity is tarnished._

_Your body is tainted._

_Where is your pride? That pride I taught you to put before everything else._

My pride, thought Draco bitterly. If it weren't for my pride in the first place, Harry wouldn't hate me.

_Hate. _

A strong word, not to be taken lightly. Someone can dislike something without hating it. But it was true... Harry hated him, and no matter the situation, no matter the amount of times he apologized, the hate would always be there. It was a part of them. It was the only relationship they had.

_A Malfoy is strong, proud and pure._

_We don't sink to the level you have._

_You've dirtied our name... _

The only relationship we had? Draco thought to himself, his eyes unseeing. No, we had a relationship. We had a relationship and we lost it. We lost it like we lost everything else.

_I blame my death on you._

_You're the death of all Malfoys._

_Why I was so unfortunate to have you as a son, i'll never know..._

Get it back. The thought ran through Draco's head many times. _Get Harry back!_ Could he do it?

Of course not. _Hate_. It was there... It always would be. Nothing could change that.

Draco stared a bit lifelessly at the ceiling, the patterns facinating him as he whispered softly to himself.

"_But I don't hate him._"

It was a bit crazy, he finally decided, that he was alone in the Slytherin dormitory's, hearing his death father's voice, talking to himself and finding hope in the fact Harry hated him.

"And the tables have turned." Draco mused, a soft sigh ringing throughout the room. He kept it to himself, though who could he tell anyway, that he was missing dinner for the third time that week.

x.x.x.x

_Empty. My life has no meaning... I can't feel anything. I'm numb._

No, you can feel.

Draco's mouth hadn't opened once as he faught internally with himself. It was once again, a bit insane that he was talking to himself, but what else could he do? There was no one else that would listen.

_I can't. The only thing I feel is pain._

Then what about love?

_Love._

You can feel love. You will always feel love. Whenever you think of Harry, you feel love.

_I feel pain._

A result of love.

_Love isn't pain. Love is-_

Love is pain.

Draco had to agree. Pain. Love. It was all the same. He knew, he could never feel love without feeling pain.

He loved his father; his father caused him pain.

He loved Harry; Harry caused him pain.

_Love is pain_.

x.x.x.x

"...Started on that essay, It's supposed to be really hard-"

"Nothing's _hard_ for you, Hermione." Came the sulky voice of Ron Weasley, as a familiar trio, that had finally reunited, rounded around the corner.

"No, really. Snape even said-"

"Right." Ron said, ignoring his friend and sighing before noticing a certain blonde sitting on a bench near the castle. Ron's eyebrows rose slightly. Just like everyone else, he had noticed the peculiar behavior of Draco for a while.

"You've been really quiet lately..." Hermione started, turning towards Harry, her eyes knowing.

"Hm." Harry said absentmindedly, dragging his feet as he kept up with his friends.

Ron slowly shook his head, signalling Hermione not to push it. Harry kept his gaze on his trainers, noticing the many shades of dirt that decorated it.

x.x.x.x

Draco watched the exchanged quite intently, feeling his heart thud in his chest. He kept his eyes on Harry, the way he shuffled his feet and sighed every now and then.

The way his eyes seemed even more dead then before.

He slowly exhaled as Harry ran a hand through his disasterous hair. Draco smiled slightly to himself, remembering how they used to share a room. It felt so long ago, though had only just happened. Everytime Harry woke up, his hair was tangled, uneven and standing up in all directions possible.

Draco sighed, his hand ghosting over his face as he tried desperately from keeping the moisture from his eyes.

_You remember, everything. You remember my pety taunts, the way I thought myself to be so much better. But Harry, you'll awlays be better, more noble and more pure. Your love will always be a strength, never a weakness. You'll never hurt anyone._

_Besides me, I mean. Because you've hurt me without knowing... You've hurt me to the point that it's all I feel._

_The pain is all I feel. But I welcome it._

_Because the pain is love._

_And it's true, I love you. And if the only way to feel that love is pain, so be it._

_Let me love you, the pain doesn't matter._

_Let me love you._

x.x.x.x

"Potter?" Draco said, hating himself for what he was about to do, but knowing it had to be done.

The library was eerily quiet and the Slytherin wondered why Harry chose to isolate himself at the back corner. His hands were slowly resting on the table, his head proped against one of them as he read sideways. Taking a closer look at the boy, Draco realized he wasn't reading. In fact, he was staring straight ahead of him, as if he were troubled and trying to sort out his problems.

But as soon as Draco's voice rang through the library, the stubborn Gryffindor's eyes narrowed and the distant expression became a hard and stony glare.

"Malfoy." He acknowleged, his body tensing up and his voice unbearably cold.

_The pain doesn't matter. _Draco told himself, trying to ignore the searing pain ripping through every bone in his body. _The pain doesn't matter, if the love remains, the pain doesn't matter._

Harry's eyes were searching, looking curiously at Draco as though seeing him for the first time.

_Let me love you. Even if you hate me, let me love you. Let me live on that one hope. Don't take it away, it's all I have._

"Finally starting to study for Potions?" He said, his voice as malice as he could manage it. "It's about time, though i'm fairly certain Snape doesn't mind marking your papers with the usual _T's_."

_You already hate me. Hate causes pain. _

_Pain causes love._

_There's nothing more to lose, i've lost it all._

There was a flicker of something in those emerald eyes, though it hardly lingered long enough for Draco to reflect on it. A familiar burning tingled behind his eyes and he looked away, studying a shelf of books neatly stacked away.

"At least I don't polish Snape's boots just so I can show precious daddy a good mark; though never high enough to beat Hermione. I wonder why? Been slacking, Malfoy?"

Draco stared at Harry for a moment before swallowing a lump that had lodged itself in his throat. "My father-" Draco was irritated that his voice was cracking. He cleared it before continuing on. Harry obviously didn't know that his father was dead.

_I blame my death on you._

"My father would have been proud of any mark I brought him. He was proud of me generally, actually... You see, I'm the perfect son. Compared to someone that can't even be called a son, really, that's saying something, don't you think?"

_Why I was so unfortunate to have you as a son, i'll never know..._

Harry's eyes flashed. "I'd much rather be raised by no parents than by yours." He said angrily, his eyes looking like a storm in the brewing. "Perfect son? Why, because you're a selfish, power-hungry bastard? Oh, that's right, as the saying goes; Like father, like son."

_The power I taught you to hold has diminished._

"Stop speaking about my father that way." Draco said, his voice hard, sudden feelings of hatred boiling in his chest, fogging his head.

_Pain, intensifying pain._

_Why did it hurt. Why did the hate hurt?_

_Because hate in it's own twisted way is love._

_And the hate is pain and pain is love._

_Hate._

_You can dislike something without hating it._

_Never to be taken lightly._

"I hate you, Harry."

Harry looked a bit surprised at the sudden outburst but slowly his face grew back into the stubborn, rigid, thoughtful facade.

"I hate you, too."

And Draco, even though the hatred was still there, the love was stronger. More pure. He knew, that now Harry's memory was back everything would go back to normal. The Slytherin's would soon slowly allow him back into their circle and never again would Harry and Draco cross paths, unless in some random fight.

But the fights hurt too much...

This time, Draco walked away, leaving behind a confused Harry.

_Let me love you._

_Let me love you, and everything will be okay._

_Even if you hate me..._

_Because once you have loved, _

_Once you have loved,_

_It never fades._

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **This chapter was more flimsy. There wasn't any solid thoughts or actions, it was mroe of Draco and his thoughts. I'm not sure if I like the chapter, in fact, some of it, i'll admit, I despise. This is not over, by the way. As I wrote it, I realized it sounded like the end- but it isn't. Heh, but oh well. A bit short, the chapter is, but what can I do. If you guys really do hate the chapter, tell me so I can rewrite it, because I've already told you I hate it myself. So rewriting it wouldn't be too terrible!

This was angsty, truly and purely, and although I love angst, it's hard for me to write in such a blunt form. So, that's my excuse for this chapter's horribleness, though I know excuses don't cut it. Sorry :(

Thanks so much for the reviews. And you should all thank **DMHP** for this chapter, and their wonderful hypnotizing abilities. ;)

**Redfox13: **You and your compliments! I adore you and your crazy reviews! And I love how you keep your reviews light hearted and funny! And no way, you're never hyper (hyper is an understatement ;) Thanks so much for reviewing this fic, and for sticking by me. Your reviews are definately the ones I look most forward too, especially because they make ME feel giddy and flattered all at the same time. And you're always pyscho with happiness, but that's good! I love it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (It might not be up to standards, but I hope it wasn't a let down)

**Rachy: **A lot of people have been asking me about why I didn't get Snape or Dumbledore to tell Harry about Draco, or to warn Draco of Harry's state. So, I answere dthis in one big blob in my first author note. It's much easier then typing it to tons of different people. I'm sorry for my laziness ;x However, on with your review: I'm really glad you caught the slight memory of Draco in Harry's mind. I tried to add it without being to obvious, but not too discrete either! I hope it was neither. And I know exactly what you mean, before Harry needed Draco for everything, and now Harry seems to not need him at all. Having Harry totally rely on Draco wouldn't give Harry's character enough depth, the thing I'm trying to introduce right now. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review! And I hope this chapter wasn't too terrible.

**theTigersFire: **Heh, I don't think I'd stop the story if anyone were rude to me, because critism is what helps the writer, and also if one person likes the story, that's enough for me :) It might take a while to get fixed, but I promise you I could never keep these two apart for long.

**wwwendy: **Thanks for the review :) I do tend to be awful to the pair of them, but It builds up anxiety and emotions, and even though the emotions are slightly depressing, it makes the end that much better. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and all the ones to come!

**AloraBraken: **The pain of a broken heart; a very good idea, and a nice ending point. But I couldn't use that, because you see, in this chapter I showed the intensity of Draco's love and if he had a broken heart, it would be hard for him to love Harry like he does. Although, it was a very good idea, and when I was first thinking about how to end the chapter, I was leaning towards broken heart. But I chose betrayal for this main reason: Betrayal is what he felt towards Harry, because he'd created false hopes and promises, only to have them broken by the one he loved. That is a form of betrayal, though not very strong. Also, I didn't want Draco to have a broken heart because this chapter went into depth about the love he feels. Sorry, heh, that was a bit long Sheepish grin Anyway, as for your other points: Draco didn't deserve that, but I tried to make him know somewhere in the back of his head, that it would happen eventually. Also, the Harry leaving Draco alone was actually very hard for me write, I wasn't sure if I wanted him to leave like that, but in the end, the chapter wrote itself. And to your P.S: Oh finally! My friend thinks i'm a numbskull for still trusting Snape, but I do! Mostly because of the unbreakable vow! I don't like Snapes character too much, so it's not biased or anything, but I really do trust Snape! Thanks so much for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! (I'm sorry for the insanely long reply, i'm crazy.)

**NayNymic: **The angst is the building blocks of which I built this story. I know sometimes it gets a bit depressing, and I know this chapter was hardly ending it, but I hope you can stand it a while longer. Thanks for reviewing anyhow, and if you did read this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!

**Green Eyed Dragon: **Haha, it's true. Harry's acting as normal as he always has because he doesn't remember. I do twisted things like that, a story about Harry losing his memory only to lose it again; a bit confusing, actually. And Draco didn't do anything to drastic, well actually in a way he did. He pretended nothing happened and tried to make everything normal, which in itself is a huge mistake. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far, and I hope this chapter was up to standards! Thanks so much for the review!

**Miriam Mrirund: **Aw thanks! I'm happy that you're not pushing me to update the story. It gives me a bit of breathing room, although sometimes the push is waht I need. And Draco, well the stupid thing he did was pretened nothing ever happened and tried to get everything back to _normal_. I guess you'll be the judge on where to put that on the stupid scale, heh. And my ego is already expanded and is slowly reaching the size of New York. Watch out, egocentric writers can be dangerous. Heres the update, I hope it wasn't too big of a disappointment.

**Silver Emerald Eyes: **This is long enough! Actually, any size review is long enough! I've just realized what you're saying; You've started school already? Ah, that's got to suck. I still have a month to go, which is a comforting thought, heh. And once school starts up again, I already know i'll be swamped. Hopefully I can get the majority (or maybe even all) of this fic finished before wretched school takes all my attention again. And i'm glad you caught the slight memory of Draco, it was all I could do for the moment. And I guess I made Draco not need and explanation, because he knew some day it would happen. Though maybe I'll add it in there, just to make it a little more fair to Draco. And Hermione and Ron _don't_ know, but they know _something_ is up. And no problem, it's my own fault that I have gaps between my updates, and I know how hard it gets to remember every last thing, especially when you're reading other fics as well. And I'm lazy all the time, it's not just limited to the middle of the night, haha. (But you see, I use the sleep thing as an excuse) Hope this is frequent enough of an update, and I hope the chapter wasn't to short/choppy/horrible. Thanks for the review, and sorry for the response (I swear, soon each response will turn into the size of a chapter)

**DMHP: **It seems your hypnotizing worked! Actually, in a way it did :P When I got your review it reminded me that I have a lot of loyal readers that are counting on another update soon, and that I have to get off my lazy bum and write something! I have been writing quite a lot lately, so why not write another chapter of this? So, I owe you a huge thanks for the wonderful push you gave me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, and I know it's not great, but I hope you still are into it enought to read. :) Thanks for the reviews (To this and to my oneshots)!  
To your second review: Ah, I have a few people clinging to me, I'm sure someone chained to me wont make too huge of a difference (Though i'll admit, it would be a bit uncomfortable ;) The twist was pure evil, and let let you in on a little secret; I have another little twist to add to the story. This one wont be AS evil, but I hope it'll surprise many of you. And Draco, yes he's not canon at all, Haha! But I thought since the war was over, and his father was dead I could add a bit of OCness for him. I hope it's not too big of a deal. (I'm putting him in character as best I can!) And thanks to your review, i'm going to be mistaken for the radishes when I go shopping for groceries today. (It's not a bad thing, except for the fact I hate raddishes)

**SBR:** Haha, too true. Angst is just crazy like that. Sometimes the angst in a fic can pile up to a point where you just want to cry and then sometimes it can be written very beautifuly so that you still want to cry, but at the same time you feel a sort of bitter sweet emotion. That's why its absolutely one of my favorite things to write. And, i'll let you in on a little secret. _Crying is the hardest thing for me to write. _There! I don't know if it's because when I make them cry, I feel as if I make them weak, or becaue it seems to out of character, but it's one emotion that I just can't grasp! I hope this chapter didn't take too long, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter (And even if you didn't I hope you still read) Thanks for the compliments/review!

**Myniephoenix: **Nothing works out for them is right, heh. Especially when cruel authors like me go around ripping at their every emotion! I hope you're enjoying the fic, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Checkmarks: **I'm glad you love the story! And Draco is quite alone, but I have some plans for his lonley situation! And irony has many definitions (and trust me, it's something I can hardly keep track of) Irony is just another one of those confusing terms that make me pull out my hair. Other than that of course, I love it. Here's the update ;) I hope you liked it, and thanks for the review!

**SaintEmo: **Actually, I didn't have Dumbledore explain to Harry his intimate stay with Draco (full explanation is in the first A/N!) And Draco was being nice, true, but Harry wasn't used to it, so he thought it was pity. I'm sorry that the chapters have been slightly confusing, and I know they're getting even worse, but I hope you still enjoy the story over all! Thank you very much for your review, and I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment!

**Koseta: **Aw, that's a huge compliment you just paid me! Knowing I can bring out that emotion in you makes me all flattered! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**memories of pain: **I'm sorry xx; The angst can get a bit overwhelming, I know, but it wont end depressing like this, but they'll have to go through a bit more before the torture ends! I hope you liked this chapter, and I hope I don't cause you to cry (unless you want to) ever again!

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **I got it the SN without looking at the spelling once! (Ignore spelling errors ;) Thank you so much! I hope this chapter follows that pattern, as I have to admit, it's not my favorite. And it is sad, but I'll make it better soon :) That was actually my favorite part about the last chapter, and It's also introducing the next big plot point and twist (though you'll just have to wait to hear what it is ;P) And you're making me blush, you! Anyhow, thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

**Manny2003: **I agree, it WAS the worst way for him to find out, but it was a huge help to the plot. This way, Draco didn't have any time to prepare for the sudden change and was affected greatly by it, which in turn helps me create the mood of his broken heart. (A bit hard to understand because I twisted it up, so I don't blame you if you didn't process a word ;) That's a horrible feeling, to feel so bad to the point of actually comitting suicide, but i'm trying to make Draco strong (and plus, I don't think the readers would appreciate it very much if I killed off Draco inthe middle of the story, heh) I'm glad you're still reading, and I hope this chapter was up to standards!

**BlackNeonTears: **Thank you:) I'm glad you find it beautiful, when people say that, it gets me all red! I'm also flattered you love the story, and happy endings are my favorite, so that's probably where this is heading. I hope you enjoyed teh chapter, and thank you for the wonderful review!

**NightScanr3: **Aw thanks :) I know exactly how you feel, even sometimes _I _don't review as much as I should, and get that guilty feeling in my gut. But as long as theres readers out there, I don't mind how many reviewers I get, so thanks for reading anyhow :) And Draco will suffer for some while, but I think the story is going to lead more into Harry's point of view after this ;) Heres the udpate, and I hope you like the chapter!

**Like Totally Like: **Your review was a bit scary in the sense that I couldn't tell if you were joking or actually insulting me (while at the same time as giving me a compliment,weird I know) But I hope you're only joking and even if you aren't you're totally entitled to your own opinion. I'm sure a lot of readers think I was too harsh in the way of presenting Draco to the situation, and my explanation in my first A/N tries to reason the best I could. And I like to think I'm not retarded, and I don't want to get shot, heh (but I'm assuming not many people do) and I DO have a plan, so just work with me for a bit, and i'll try to stop being so cruel to the pair :) Thanks for the review and I hope you don't hate this chapter. (Because your reviews get a bit scary when you don't, heh)

**xox-Rachelle-oxo: **Thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you like this one as well! I like to think that i'm updating more frequently, and I hope this one wasn't too far away from the last post. Well, thanks for reading and reviewing (not only this, but every story/one shot i've ever written. You're wonderful)

**Nony: **I rather like them both. ;) I'll try to mix in a bit of both, but that might not happen for a while. At least until I get this angsty tangle out of the way. And thanks so much wipes forhead as if she just ran a marathon but really she was sitting on her lazy bum all day It's good to know my reviewers are dedicated to this story enough to wait a while for updates, because I do tend to get busy (at the most unfortunate times, too) and It's sometimes hard to write when you're stressed (although sometiems it's a great stress reliever. I know, nice and contradicting for you) Well, I hope you liked this chapter and enjoy all the ones to come!

**Anux: **Heh, aw! At least you get to hug Draco, I know i'd kill to have him all to myself. (But actually, he fits a lot better with Harry; Kind of like when you're doing a puzzle where you know the pieces don't go together, and still they connect, leaving you with a distorted image, but the pieces are still holding) I know, where did that comparison come from? (It's better if you don't ask, heh) I hope you liked the update, and thanks for your review!

**Draco'sGirlForAlways: **Awww thanks! That's a huge compliment and you've really fed my ego let me tell yah ;) And you know, a compliment that made me blush is your mentioning of poetry; I do write poetry, but I'm not confident enough to post it. That's why you've flattered me beyond belief. I love you! I hope you enjoyed this update, and all the ones to come!

**ConfusedHeart: **I'm glad it's a good thing. Sometimes reviewers tell me they don't like it, but I know that fics that make me cry only to have me get a huge surge of happiness are the best kinds. This story has a few more chapters to go, and It will be hard to let it go, since I've spent a year on it (Much more time than I did on My Enemy) But I have many idea's for new fics that I've been dying to start! Thanks for the reviews and support you've given me since I first started writing, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Dark Angel's Blue Fire: **Ahh, sorry, I think it's ones even more shorter! It's not a good length at all! I'm really sorry! I'm glad you like the chapter, and I'll try making longer chapters! Thanks for the review!

**Makalani Astral: **Explanation is in the first A/N, heh. I know, i'm mean to Draco, but I hope it's all explained up there! Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**LivetoDie: **Aw haha, its alright. I know, life can be very hectic at times and sometimes its hard to update! And what about you? Still only got that one-shot! Come on and write something! You have lots of talent you know! And the spelling is probably chaotic in this one, heh, but oh well! Thanks much, and enjoy ;)

**Edwards-Ebed: **Multiple personalites! How fun! Haha, here's the update! I hope it wasn't too disappointing, but I tried my hardest! And are you serious? The best! I can feel my cheeks burning up already! You are just too sweet! I love you:)

**Poof: **Yeah, I made Harry a bit psychotic in the first few chapters, but he's coming back to normal! And Draco, well lots happens with them soon! Thanks for the compliments and the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**AmorLunaris: **Haha! Well, if Harry had remembered the fic would have been over! I have many more twists and turns to add to the story and I hope you enjoy them! And thanks for reviewing, and I tend to write cliffhangers a lot, I get more horrible with each update!

_Shadow_

_P.S: My review responses are, I think, bigger than my chapter. That's utterly embarrassing, haha. Either I don't know when to stop my rambling with the responses or my chapters are just a disgrace to my writing. Oh well, I'll try to make them longer from now on! Thanks for the reviews, lovely readers! I adore you all!_


	17. My Butterfly

**A/N: **This chapter is dedicated to all those reviewers who stuck my fic, even as the angst multiplied to amounts even I could hardly handle. Hugs to you!

**Chapter Seventeen: **My Butterfly

Everything was back to normal, Draco decided as he ate his dinner casually in the Great Hall. It had been a full week since he and Harry had spoken and the feelings were getting easier and easier to ignore.

_Who am I kidding? _Thought Draco solemnly, looking up towards the Gryffindor table, only to see Harry slumped again, a tired expression on his face.

The Gryffindor was becoming more and more like the empty shell he had been when he first returned from the war. His eyes were lifeless and they looked as haunting as Draco remembered. He studied the way the pale figure stared at his food, eating a few forced bites, and how he was talking much less; in fact, he hard hardly said one word the whole meal.

A sudden hope flickered in his chest, a tiny flame amidst the icy object he called his heart. _Maybe it's all gone back to normal. Maybe Harry remembers me again..._

As soon as the thought entered his head he smiled and shook his head to himself, staring intently at his goblet. _It is back to normal, that day in the library- Everything's back to normal._

Draco set his hands down, dropping his fork. He had visited the library for only one reason; To get Harry to remember their hate, and to make him think Draco still felt the strong emotion instead of the new burning one he called love... He needed Harry to hate him, otherwise the artificial feelings of hope would one day take him over and he would find himself thinking that he still had a chance.

_But I don't._

Draco reminded himself for the millionth time that day. _Harry hates me. _It was odd, of course, that Draco wanted Harry to hate him, but he had considered his options carefully, and none of them were appealing. If he hadn't gotten Harry to feel that emotion, the strong emotion of hate, then their relationship would be awkward.

At least their relationship of hate was solid. At least they had a relationship.

The Slytherin sighed, picking up his fork once more and setting his other hand slowly in his lap. _The relationship of hate,_ he thought helplessly.

x.x.x.x

Blaise Zabini stared at Draco, his once best friend, and sneered. The blonde hair that was usually so perfectly kept was wrinkled and tossed about the pale face and the eyes that were cold and emotionless were depressed and open for anyone to discover. It was disgusting, he thought angrily, that someone who he'd envied because of their cool facade and emotionless stant was now wearing his heart on his sleeve.

He had given Draco a choice, and in his opinion, the former Slytherin Prince had chosen the wrong one. In fact, it seemed Draco was more depressed than ever, the way he would wistfully glance at the Gryffindor, an emotion as strong as _love_ clearly showing in his eyes.

"Pansy." Blaise said in a low voice, his eyes softening as he stared at Draco.

The pug-faced girl looked towards the dark-haired boy and gave him a questioning look.

"Obviously Harry isn't as infatuated with Draco as Draco is with him." Blaise said, his voice soft.

Pansy looked towards Draco, sighing. There was a difference from the meal they were eating today to the meal they had eaten a week ago. Last week, Draco had been so sure of himself, so incredibly happy that Pansy _almost_ couldn't blame him for what he had done. In fact, the blonde had mocked the Slytherin's by taking his usual seat and facing the them with his calm face, his pride still in tact.

That was why the scene was less disturbing. When his nose was in the air, the Slytherin's still had to admit they respected him, even though the respect was in miniscule amounts, however, when he was like... like _this_ the Slytherin's looked down at him

The girl narrowed her eyes when they reached the Gryffindor table. "Before _him_ everything was fine. Before _him_ Draco's life was so normal, he had power he had respect... he had us! And now, because of that- That..."

"That what?" Draco asked suddenly, his face unreadable except for his steely eyes that were laced with a toxic anger, ready to spread and attack anyone who got in it's way.

Pansy whipped around, her black hair flicking across her pale face. "Draco?"

"That, what?" The boy asked again, ignoring the curious looks he was recieving from most of the other houses.

There was a pause before Pansy looked towards Blaise for some sort of help. He cleared his throat and stood up, pushing Pansy away. "Been evesdropping, have you?"

Draco's eyes fluttered away from Pansy's form and he stared Blaise directly in his eyes, his mouth a thin line and fists clenched so tightly, the knuckles had faded into an eery ghostly-white. "I can't help if Pansy's voice is so loud I can hear it from my little sanctuary over there." The boy slowly nodded towards the isolated area of the table, where only one plate was set out, still completely full.

Pansy looked highly offended and watched as Draco turned back towards her, his eyes melting as if put under a passionate blaze of fire, the metal look being replaced of one that reminded her of thunder and fire all at the same time.

"That what." It wasn't a question, it was more like a statement of victory.

"Nothing." Pansy murmured before looking away, a slight flush of anger on her face. "_Nothing_."

And with that Draco swiftly turned around, his dignity somewhat repaired, though it was easy to spot the missing pieces. With a dramatic flare of his robes, he walked away, muttering a small, "I thought so, " as he left.

He completely missed the curious emerald eyes that stared at him intently as he left the Great Hall with his chin held high.

He also missed the wondering look of an old best friend.

x.x.x.x

_As long as you let me love you, everything will be fine._

_As long as you let me love you, it will always be strong._

_As long as you let me love you, you don't have to love me back._

The hallways were empty as Draco walked steadily across them, his thoughts clear in his head. Never once did he let go of the strange words that flashed across his mind. He gripped them tightly, feeling as if he were gripping onto false hopes, but he knew one thing:

Once he gave up hope, he gave up everything.

Pushing the entrance hall's doors open, Draco felt the calming winter air flutter across his features and he smiled slightly, running a hand through his hair. His shoes sunk into the moist grass as he walked towards Hogwart's magnificent gardens, a soft sigh of bliss escaping his mouth.

The route was familiar enough, having gone to the greenhouses many times when he needed comfort. The beautiful flowers and strange, magical plants had soothed him when nothing else would. It was as if the garden's were _his_ place, where no one and no thought could disturb him

_Or, _Draco thought to himself, _No thoughts of a particular someone._

Draco felt a shudder chorus through his body as the daylight began to fade, leaving him in a cavern of darkness that swallowed even the moonlight. Wrapping his arms around his body, he continued walking across the frosted grass and against the wind, his cheeks flushing a bright pink.

His eyes adjusted slightly to the dark and soft stars started to drizzle across the black sky. Very slowly, Draco ran a hand through his hair, walking almost subconsciously towards the greenhouse, feeling his breath escape him when he finally reached the gate that led to his favorite garden.

Setting himself on the swinging bench, he felt his body relax ever so slightly, his eyes closing and his breathing shallow.

It was then a startle gasp echoed throughout the deserted garden. Frightened, Draco pulled back, falling slightly off the swing and landing on the moist grass. He grunted slightly as he pulled himself up, looking up into startling emerald eyes. It seemed he wasn't the only one awake that night.

_Harry..._"Potter?" He asked breathlessly, his chest constricting as he said the word.

"What are you doing here?" The voice was so bitter. Draco felt his breath catch in his throat when he realized how close they both were on the swing.

_Beautiful. I'll let you have the garden, Harry. I'll let you have anything..._

"Me? What are _you_ doing here!"

_Don't leave, don't ever leave. Once you leave, I feel alone. At least when you're here I feel warm._

There was a pause before Harry turned away, his voice slightly muffled. "I obviously can't sleep, now if you'd be so kind..."

_The same raw hatred, the same taunting tones torturing me tonight._

"You can't just come back and take everything over, this is _my_ garden."

Harry was quiet for a moment and he looked away pushing the swing a little so it creaked slightly before swinging back and forth in a peaceful, careless motion.

"I've been coming here since sixth year, Malfoy. I don't just _come back_ and take everything over." The voice was cold and surrounded by walls Draco could never tear down. Harry had barriers, his emotions were strongly guarded, and Draco knew he was the last person Harry would ever want to talk to about his problems.

_We're the same in so many ways, yet you don't see it._

"Mmh. Same." He said after a long pause.

"What?" Harry said absent-mindedly, playing with a reed of grass between his fingers. It was freezing, Draco felt his fingers tingle with the numbed sensation of ice cold. However, Harry with his flushed cheeks and panting breaths held the blade of grass so tightly in his fingers, as if holding it for some sort of reassurance.

"I've been coming here since sixth year too." He said softly, looking towards Harry, a blank look on his face.

Harry's eyes travelled to his and he blinked slowly, his lips trembling, before he abruptly looked away. Draco stared stunned at the back of Harry's head, hoping he hadn't offended the boy.

"Funny how we never ran into each other." Harry said, his voice muffled once again.

Draco's eyes watched the Gryffindor curiously before turning to stare ahead of him. His eyes watched as a silvery-blue butterfly landed on one of the frozen flowers. His eyes followed the insect intently, watching as it spun slightly in the air with an elegant flap of it's delicate wings.

_A butterfly. _Draco thought, feeling relaxed. _That's what you are, Harry. A butterfly... With your elegant movements, your delicate body and the way you can warm even the coldest things..._

_Including me._

"What?"

Draco's eyes snapped open, his heart beating erratically as he swallowed, pulling himself up from his slouching state. "Wh-what?"

"You just said something..." Harry was looking at him intently, his eyes slowly shining with something that resembled hope, but a borrowed sort of hope, as if he felt it wasn't really his. That he wasn't allowed to feel such things.

"I-I did? No, no I didn't."

Harry looked away, his eyes resting on the flower that the butterfly had previously landed on, however the butterfly had disappeared. The flower was wilting slowly, looking as if the warmth the insect had lent him was the only way it could survive and now that it had abandoned it, it was dying slowly. Ripping apart from the inside, tearing apart it's every fibre-

_You're my butterfly._ Draco thought again, his eyes glazing over with hot wet moisture. _You gave me your warmth, made me feel alive... Only to leave me to wilt... To die._

"Whatever you say, Malfoy."

Draco smiled slightly, his eyes watching the flower as it continued to mope in the vague moonlight. With a slight sigh, he turned towards Harry who was once again completely and utterly consumed by the facinations of the garden.

_It seems like just yesterday, you were a part of my life. That everything felt completely and utterly right, that nothing could go wrong._

"Why do you come here, anyway?"

Harry stared at the sight straight ahead of him before turning to look at Draco, his eyes shielded by his barriers, yet shining with a sort of reassurance that he wasn't lying.

"To think."

Draco felt his eyes sting with the urge to feel Harry's skin, to kiss his soft lips, to say the words he never had a chance to say.

_I love you, Harry. I love you. I love you... I love you._

"About...?"

_Tell me what bother's you, and I'll comfort you._

Harry gave a sort of bitter laugh, his hands clenching against the hard wood of the bench. Draco felt Harry's arm brush against his own and shivered, feeling a familiar tingle run down his spine. As soon as it was over, however, he felt a longing catch in his throat and looked away before his eyes gave everything away.

"About? What do you think, Malfoy. The war is over, but nothing's back to normal."

_Normal._

Draco's eyes fluttered away from Harry's searching face, landing at the ground beneath his feet.

_I've tried so hard to make everything normal, but the harder I try, the more confusion I feel._

"You're right." The Slytherin whispered, his eyes clouding over and his voice so toneless it was unnerving.

"I-I'm what?"

"You're right. Nothing's normal. Normal doesn't exist, not in our world."

Harry turned his body so that he was facing Draco and swallowed, his eyes searching, needing and filled with a sort of thin desire. "Not in our world, no. But so many people can live normal lives."

His voice wasn't spiteful, it sounded as if he were stating something he knew all along, something he had experienced for as long as he could remember. Draco, however, looked away quickly.

"My life used to be normal."

Harry paused, inching closer to Draco. "I know." He whispered, his voice soft, his tone low. It was as if every living thin in the garden was asleep and the only two people existing were talking in hushed voices so as to not wake up the magnificent array of plants in front of them.

_You don't realize what you're doing to me, the way your voice is so soft... The way your body is so close._

"You know?" Draco whispered, his face so close to Harry's, so close that he was starting to feel a dizzying swirl of nerves land themselves in his stomach, his eyes shimmering with a new depth of passion and longing. A depth he didn't have the strength to discover.

"I know." No sound escaped Harry's mouth, but Draco felt the warm air from Harry's mouth skim over his face as he said the words.

The moon chose that moment to appear from behind the stormy clouds and cast a glow among the castle grounds, illuminating everything. Draco's heart was thudding in his chest to the point it felt it was about to explode. The light shone and reflected against Harry's eyes, and in that brief moment, the boy's eyes widened and he quickly jerked off the bench, his movements panicked and his eyes lost and confused.

Draco felt his own eyes widen as Harry shook his leg free off the bench and took off at a sprint towards the castle, the moonlight shadowing everything around him. Draco leaned back against the bench, panting, his eyes closed. Very slowly he took in a deep breath, wondering what had just happened.

_Somewhere, somewhere deep inside, you must remember._

Even as Draco thought the words, he knew how false they were. How he was setting himself up for heartbreak as soon as the false hope implanted itself in his head.

The moon's pale glow accented Draco's face, his eyes bewildered, hopeful and distressed all at the same time.

_You were so close, the moment was so right. _

_I know you can't possibly hate me. Not now. Not anymore._

Draco softly fingered the reed of grass Harry had cradled so fondly only moments ago.

_My butterfly._

x.x.x.x

**A/N: **This chapter is longer, I think, than the last. I'm starting to lean around 3-4 more chapters of this story. Then it will be finished! The next chapter might be in Harry's point of view, but that would give away a lot to my plot, so I'm still contemplating whether or not to keep it in Draco's view.

Anyway, the end of this chapter was to make up for my horribleness of the last. I know it was depressing, and this one hopefully gave you a bit of confidence in my story and towards the happy ending I promised.

I love you, reviewers and readers! And thanks for taking the time to respond and view my story. You all are just superb, and I love you to death!

Review Responses:

**theTigersFire: **It's taking a while, I know, but I promise you good things will happen :) I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully you like this chapter as well! Thanks for the review!

**redfox13: **Haha! Yeah, that chapter was a lot sadder than the other ones, which is something I'm slightly proud of. I know, my whole story is twisted in a way, but I hope you guys don't mind! And you're welcome! You've got to be one of the most fun reviewers ever to exist! I love getting your reviews because they're always so cheerful. I'm glad you didn't mind the total shortness of the last chapter! It was not only a hard chapter to write, but one that dealed with very emotional things! And I love making my reviewers feel special, because they really are! Like I said before, it's the reviewers who make the story, I just put it into words! Thank you for the review and always keeping me happy ;) And I'd never not update in forever ;P I love YOU guys too much! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**NayNymic: **Ahh, I don't know how to respond to that other than saying I'm sorry:\ I hope this chapter was more to your liking!

**Aisling-Siobhan: **Thank you for the review :) And I'm sure Draco appreciates your hug very much ;) He DOES need someone! (Even super slash-loving crazy fan girls, but than again, who doesn't want a hug from us, right?) I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**AloraBraken: **Aw thanks :) I was really insecure about the chapter, and I'm sure it showed, heh. And i'm glad you understand the broken heart thing, I am hardly good at explaining things! And I have some surprises in store for Harry's part, that's why its a bit hard for me to decide whether or not I want to do the next chapter in Harry's P.O.V. And I'll be sure to check out the site! Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**DMHP: **Haha, I'm glad! ;P Oh yes, you wouldn't believe how embarrassing it is to visit the library, check my email and leave the building looking like I had major sunburn on my face. However, it's very worth it to hear all this wonderful praise. I love my reviewers so much! It makes me all giddy to even have 1 person reviewing my fic, but the amount it has reached to now is just unbelievable. It gets me all happy inside ;) And I'm glad you guys enjoy the review responses, and I love lengthy reviews! So thank you very much! And now to respond to your actual review ;P - I know, I am very mean to Draco (come to think of it, Harry too!) But I have a plan brewing in my head somewhere, and I'll be sure to introduce it very soon. (This chapter hints at it, actually ;) I think about three to four chapters left :\ But you know, this is the longest thing i've ever written in my life and I'm very proud of getting around to the end, even though I'll miss it greatly when it's over! And I'm glad Draco is at least a bit in character, that gets me even more proud, and to think one reviewer caused all this pride! I adore you, have I told you that? Well I do! I adore you! And WOAH. You're kidding me. Hey, guess what? I've just invented a new shade of red, and it's on my face ;) (JKR is so talented, and even to have her name mentioned in a comparison to me is like, the best praise I've ever received!) Thank you for the review! You're a sweetie, you know that ;) (And damn good at flattering people too:P)

**Makalani Astral: **Ah! Sorry to confuse you! Well, what I was trying to do was have Draco reflect on his feelings. Right now, he's gripping to any hope he can, even though it's false. Also, he thought of getting Harry back, but knew he wouldn't ever be able too, because their history had too much hate, so he let the idea go and became that depressed shell I wrote about ;x And that would be a cool idea, pensieving his memories, but I have an idea of where I want this to go (But thank you very much for the suggestion!) Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter (and I hope that it was a lot less confusing, heh)

**Dark Angel's Blue Fire: **Ahh, I'm sorry! I know, the length of the chapter was a bit disgusting :\ I'm really, very sorry, but I hope you understand that some chapters are very hard to write, especially when they're filled with compact emotions. I'm very flattered you're addicted to the story, and you're very right; my chapters are much too short! I'll try harder from now on to get them longer. Here's the update! I hope you enjoyed it :)

**Zoomaphonethepirate: **Ack, I hope you're not TOO sad! The story will get better, I promise you. And i'm glad you caught the Harry thing. It was one of the hints as to what's going to happen. And it was also to reassure my wonderful readers that there still is hope! And of course I'd take the time to respond to all the reviews! I love you guys for reading and the reviews are very wonderful... Also, you guys take time out of your day to encourage me, which I find is very sweet! I'm glad you agree with the "watered-down" angst theory! It was horrible that I didn't find a way to incorporate it in the story and instead just stuck it in an author's note, but as long as you all understand why I did it! And I'm glad I wont be splattered with tomatoes, heh! Thanks SO much for the review, and I hope you enjoy the chapter! Btw, did I tell you that you were awesome for supporting me when the story was just beginning? Well, in case I haven't; You are Awesome. ;)

**CheckMarks: **Aw thank you :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too, and thanks for taking the time to review!

**Nightscanr3: **I'm glad that i've been updating quickly too! I've had a lot of spare time for a while, and have decided to give back to my reviewers with speedy updates instead of the month long gaps that I used to have. (Sorry about those, by the way ;x) Plus, I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! And I was terribly evil, but I'm glad you accept my reasoning :) I was actually thinking about that, but right now, all Draco wants is the solid concept of _normal_ and with every day that passes, he's finding it harder and harder to find normality in his life. I think that's what I'm basing Draco's character on, for now. I will definately take your suggestion/question into consideration, because the idea is very good! And I loved your comparisons! They did make me feel very much better about the chapter. Thanks for your review and I hope this chapter is up to standards!

**SaintEmo: **I'm glad you're not disappointed! I'm also very happy that you were pleased with the chapter! Draco is one hard cookie to describe, especially when it comes to emotions, because the way I wrote him was complex but in a way where he was building up his emotions to the point where he almost had a breakdown. I had to find some sort of balance in the built up emotion and the insanity, and I hope I did an okay job :) And thanks so much for the review!

**xox-Rachelle-oxo: **Aw thank you! I'm glad Draco's point of view was interesting! And of course they'll end up together, i'd never keep them apart! Especially not after all this ;P I'm also very very happy that you liked the surprise Draco got, although it wasn't a very good surprise. I was hoping not too many people would despise it after I explained the reason behind my cruelty. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Too Lazy to Log in: **Haha, nice. Thanks for the compliments! Here's the update, I hope it was quick enough! I'm glad you like the story! I tried to be as original as I could, and I'm happy it showed:) Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter!

**Like Totally Like: **Thank you! And it's fine! I know sometimes it gets frustrating when an author does something a reader doesn't like! Anyway, I'm very happy you liked the chapter:) And we'll see what I can do with Harry, and wishful thinking is the best kind ;) Hope you enjoyed the chapter and all the chapters to come!

**Manny2003: **Aw thanks! And also, thanks for clarifying that! I'll be sure to never kill Draco, especially since my life is on the line ;) I hope you liked the chapter!

**BlackNeonTears: **Aw, I'm sorry. I know, sometimes the angst is so built up that I get a bit carried away. This chapter hopefully confirmed your suspisions and worries. I'd never end this fic with Draco and Harry apart. Unless I decided to do a sequel (Which is most unlikely haha :P) And thanks for taking the time to review! If you take the time to review, I take the time to respond. You guys are just too terrific for me not to!

**ConfusedHeart: **Thank you! I'm very happy to hear that you loved the chapter! It was a bit of a worry to me, I'll admit, posting it, because I wasn't sure of the feedback I'd get. I'm also glad you liked the phrase, it was a bit hard connecting the two feelings, but at the same time, they fit so perfectly together! Especially the way that Draco thought of them. I'm very glad for your honesty in telling me that it wasn't as good as my other chapters, because I agree 100! Here's the update and I hope you enjoyed the chapter (and I also hope that it was better than the last!)

**SBR: **Yup! The review responses are always fun to write! Especially when the reviewers are as enthusiastic and fun to respond to as you! And I'd never end it like that! I have a few chapters left to go, so don't worry! And Draco and Harry WILL get back together, and it wont require too much forcing ;) And long review's with caplocks sound scary! Remind me to never provoke any reader to do that ;) And thanks for the sweet compliments, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Edwards-Ebed: **Aw thank you! I'm glad you found it good! Tears? Really? I know it's a bit odd, but I take that as a compliment, and a very nice one at that:) And of course they'll make up! I'm just repairing their relationship slowly, but in a way that isn't too harsh (Actually, I admit, it's very harsh ;x) And thanks for your compliments, you're very sweet :) (P.S Your Harry/Draco drabble thing was too cute. And I will fix it, dont you worry ;)

**Anux: **Ah, Draco, if only is right! Oh well, a girls bound to find _someone_ even if they aren't as wonderful as Draco Malfoy! I'm glad you loved the chapter, and am even happier about not having to change anything! Thank you very much for the review, and I hope you liked this chapter as well!

**DraculUknown: **New reviewer! Aw thanks! New reviewers get me all giddy! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and whatever odd things my mind comes up with, and I hope you like this and all further chapters as well! Thanks for taking the time to review :)

**Jarring-Jarr: **Aww thanks! I'm glad it's a nice kind of sad! I hope the emotions in this chapter are as strong, but in a way that isn't so depressing. And no, not sick, I know exactly how you feel! I love feeling sad when it's a sad that doesn't make you feel too.. sad... Okay, confusing, I know. I should avoid talking from now on. Anyway, heh, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Memories Of Pain: **Aww, so very true. I'm glad you find the love/pain thing to be true. It seems we've both shared ideas that we both agree on, which is very cool :) Thank you for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**BrandNewSemester: **Here's the update! Thanks for the review, and I hope the chapter is up to your expectations:)

**Draco'sGirlForAlways: **Ahh, no I'm not trying to kill you! I'm sorry! And I'll get the pain and misery out of there as soon as I can! And I can help him, and I'm planning on it! I'm glad you love the fic, and I wish you good luck with your problems with your friend. Hopefully everything turns out okay! I love you too ;) Here's the update and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Fallen-angel-of-Repression: **Oh my! That's got to be one of the longest reviews I've ever gotten! Thank you very much! And you find it one of the best? Oh wow, theres lots of great ones out there and so I'm very flattered! You loved chapter sixteen the most? That's really nice of you to say, since I was extremely worried about it :) And Draco's thoughts start to thin out, but they're still there in this chapter; I hope you still enjoy them. And you're so sweet! Wow, you're making me feel very happy right now! And your review probably is the review that got me writing this chapter in the first place! Your words of encouragment were so wonderful and inspiring! It's people like you that make writing even more enjoyable than it already is. And I'm sorry my chapters are so short! I know many authors create long chapters that are dozens of pages, but my chapters end themselves, in a way. I write them almost subconsciously and then when I feel it's a perfect time to end... I just end it. I know, not a very good excuse, but I'm hoping you can cope with me just a little while longer :) Also, I know exactly how you feel. I've been reading this amazing story called Eclipse by Mijan, and I started it a few days ago. I was extremely happy 'cause there were so many chapters (and they were incredibly long too!) but then, I reached the last chapter yesterday and I was seriously panicking. I hope this update was soon enough for you! And I hope you enjoyed it! I do believe Snape is still trustful in the REAL hp books, and I know, Dumbledore not realizing their relationship was so intimate was a bit of a roadblock for me, but I hope for now you have faith in me a while longer to read the rest of the chapters, and I also hope you enjoy them!

**Dark Angel Kira: **Haha! You're so adorable. Thanks so much for the review and I hope to hear from you, Spike and Akira soon ;) Also, I hope you liked the chapter!

**Cuthrin Khafre: **Really? Thanks so much for saying that, because I was a bit worried. All you reviewers are so wonderful, and have made me feel a lot more secure about the chapter! You're very sweet, and I'm glad you liked the chapter! Hopefully you enjoy this one too!

**Morpheus9: **Aw thanks! I'm very glad you're enjoying the fic so far! It's so good to hear that you're getting emotionally involved, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous ones! Thank you for reviewing and for the compliments, and hope the update was quick enough for you!

**SilverDragon63:** Harry is, literally, clueless. Haha, he doesn't remember their relationship at all which is why he is so jerk-y-ish to Draco! But I'll try and get Draco happy again ;) Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Silver Emerald Eyes: **Oh wow! Two months? Well then I suppose you'd be used to it ;P And travel! Lucky you! Anywhere interesting? Your welcome, I thought I owed an explanation to all of those readers who were confused or unhappy :) And Draco's emotions are getting out of control, almost to the point where he's having moodswings left and right! Barely catch up! You know, that's a compliment ;) I'm glad my updates aren't months apart like they used to be! I hope to get this fic done before my summer is over, and that way, I can start on a completely new one!


	18. Surrender

**Author's Apology:**

I have been so busy that I lost time for this fic. I've wanted to finish it for so long, but I can't find the time. So I feel completely guilty… 3-4 months is definitely much too long of a gap between chapters. And I know I have lost many readers because of my incapability to update frequently. I'm really, very sorry. I know this chapter is hardly long enough or even written well enough for an apology, but it's the best I can do for now. I really do love you all, and I hope you enjoy the story from this point on.

**Author's Note:**

Finally, another chapter! There is still more, so please don't think this is the last one. Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are great! I'll promise I'll try harder to update from now on 

This chapter is dedicated to THE T0BEY-MEiSTER. I shall never forget your review again, and I'm sorry that I did the last time!

**Chapter Eighteen: **Surrender

x.x.x.x

Harry continued to run, helplessly, across the frozen ground beneath him. Above him, the stars twinkled brightly, reflecting in the white snow. Sparkling beautifully, the snow, the constant reminder, crushed beneath Harry's feet. Clouds once again covered the sympathetic moonlight, shadowing the castle grounds, darkening the white snow and lining the Gryffindor's weary face.

_I hate you, Harry_

The boy felt his knees hit the snow hard, the moist coldness seeping through his trousers and hitting his skin. However, his hands held his head desperately, clenching onto the black unruly hair and scraping across the tender, frozen flesh of his confused face.

"I hate you, too. Hate you... so... much."

Feeling his eyes tingle, Harry clenched his teeth. Very slowly, he took a deep breath; his eyes shut tightly, and let his hands fall to his side. Then, shivering in the cold winter air as the chill winds licked at his raw flesh, the Gryffindor burried his face in his hands and let out a desperate sob.

x.x.x.x

Draco felt himself shiver as he sat himself down in one of the old chairs in the library. Quietly opening his ink well, he sighed, his gaze resting on the blank parchment in front of him. Letting his eyes wander over to the window, Draco felt a yearning burn up in his chest. Images of snow, flowers, and butterflies washed over him, as well as soft, hushed voices. He could still feel the cold winds travel over his tender flesh, and the warmth of Harry's body beside him. Closing his eyes gently, the Slytherin felt a soft breeze flutter across his skin and smiled.

"Draco."

The Slytherin's eyes opened in surprise as the soft, masculine voice reached his ears. With a frown, he turned towards Blaise who was studying him closely, an unreadable look on his face.

"What is it, Zabini?" Draco asked coldly, his smile leaving his face, replaced with a look of hatred.

Blaise had quickly taken Draco's status as the Prince of Slytherin, and it was more of a surprise to Draco than anyone else. In fact, the old life Draco used to lead seemed almost as if it were a dream; something long forgotten and forever lost.

Though, Draco could hardly complain. It was almost as if he had traded his old life, one filled with malice, spite and anger, for another.

One filled with Harry, one filled with love

The dark-haired Slytherin sat across the formerly respected boy and watched as Draco's teeth clenched, almost unnoticeably. Though, Blaise noticed everything about the blonde. It was for that exact reason he was sitting in a deserted corner of the library across someone he had lost all admiration for.

"I didn't give you permission to sit there, Zabini!" The blonde whispered harshly, his eyes wandering over to Madam Pince.

The ends of Blaise's lips quirked into a slightly amused smile, and he stared at Draco square in the eyes. "I'm here for a chat, Draco."

Narrowing his eyes, Draco watched Blaise's eyes flash just slightly, and sat against the back of his chair. "About…"

"Potter. And the obsession you have with him."

Draco picked up his quill, snarling in Blaise's direction. "I believe that this topic is none of your concern, _Blaise_."

Blaise clenched his teeth, beginning to get fed up with the deliberate slow talking; the skillful avoidance of a topic Draco most definitely did not want to be involved in. Leaning forward in his chair, Blaise smirked with a sinister twinkle in his eye. "Taking advantage of someone when they're basically insane is a very Slytherin thing to do, Draco…"

The blonde's eyes flashed with anger, melting into a fire of silver mist. His chest constricted painfully, but his mind clouded with a rage even he didn't know he possessed. However, he kept his voice eerily calm, the array of emotions in his eyes showing his fury. "You don't know what you're talking about, Blaise."

Blaise smiled slightly, folding his hands neatly on the desk. "I was wondering how you were ever put into Slytherin after I learned of your feelings towards that Gryffindor." He said, looking straight ahead at the blonde, his eyes challenging.

Draco's hand gently let go of his quill and he leaned forward in his chair, his eyes narrowing. "And now I know exactly why _you_ were."

Ignoring Draco's comment, Blaise let his eyes wander to Madam Pince before letting out a small laugh. "But then, then I realized it all when Potter had somehow, miraculously had his memory returned to him. He had no feelings towards you, Draco. In fact, he seemed to be getting on just fine while you withered away."

An overwhelming feeling of hurt tingled through Draco's limbs, but he managed pull his façade over his lost expression. Though he felt his mask was beginning to fade away… just like his soul…

"…And then I understood— Potter never had feelings for you! He was just the victim to a Slytherin's cunning manipulation."

Blaise paused, taking in Draco's expression. Storm grey eyes were glistening slightly and the Dark-haired Slytherin noticed with grim satisfaction that the blonde's pale face looked confused, miserable and almost in agreement.

"Which is why, Draco, I am offering an opportunity that you may never once again be offered. I am offering Slytherin back—I am offering you a chance to _go back_."

Draco looked alarmed, and Blaise smiled at him, extending a hand. "You can have Slytherin back, Draco. Potter will never be yours, it's best to live with it."

The blonde stared at his former best friend bewildered, and with a sigh, Blaise locked eyes with the boy in front of him. "Because we're friends, Draco, and you've always been there for me. That's why." With a dry laugh, Blaise's eyes misted over and he smiled. "Maybe I'm not fit to be in Slytherin either, hey Draco."

Draco just stared at the hand outstretched to him.

_Normal. _

His life at the beginning of the year had been normal. Blaise was offering him a chance back to the normal life he once had.

_"You're right. Nothing's normal. Normal doesn't exist, not in our world."_

'But can it?' Draco thought to himself, his eyes staring at Blaise's arm.

x.x.x.x

Harry stared outside his window, the memory of last night still fresh in his mind. A soft breeze tousled his hair and he let out a deep breath, his eyelids fluttering closed and his head gently leaning against the frozen window pane.

The raven-haired boy listened to the comforting silence of one of the neglected Hogwart's towers. In the calm, relaxed state he was in, he could pay attention to the things that he had been avoiding, like the steady beat of his heart and the rush of emotions that seemed to have settled in the pit of his stomach.

The first emotion, which he had always felt, still burned as strong as ever. Malfoy had always spurred the sudden flames of anger, had always been the only one to slither beneath his skin, and bring out unleashed rage.

But as his heart continued to beat, Harry could feel the hatred disappear behind a veil of depression. The war was over, hopefully forever, and yet Harry hadn't laughed freely, nor had he celebrated with his closest friends, drinking to the new, safe future that awaited them.

Because most of his closest friends were no longer living.

The depression, however, seemed to be consumed by a feeling of utter confusion. The war was over, so wasn't his life supposed to go completely back to normal? Wasn't he supposed to continue his life, marry and have children? Why was he still lingering on the past, and most of all, what was this new feeling of care that he had formed for Malfoy.

There was also the fact that last night was the most alive he had felt since he had returned. It was as if he had nothing to live for, but Draco brought feelings of such need- such longing- to him… And that, that was the most frustrating thought. Though, when the moon had struck and Harry had truly examined the white as snow hair, soft as silk skin and hopeful eyes, he had felt a jolt of something unexplainable travel through his chest and the loud pounding of his heart echo in his ears.

Harry opened his eyes suddenly, and saw the sun shining the most brightly it had all winter. Sudden fear gripped him as he watched the miniature flakes of snow begin to melt, turning into a clear pool of liquid then slowly running down the side of the tower, dripping down into the beautiful frosted grass.

Feeling as if losing the snow was like losing a close companion, Harry reached out the window and closed his hand around a small portion. The warmth of his skin quickly began to tingle as the cool snowflakes began to bite at his flesh, making it numb. Then, almost as if he were holding onto something that was bound to leave him, the snow began to melt.

Letting the purest of all water run down his hands, Harry looked outside once more, the white grounds all melting as one. Feeling resigned, Harry watched as the memories of tender touches, lingering kisses and comforting words began to disappear.

The water trickling down his fingers brought Harry back to reality and he shuddered as the raw, bitter winds fluttered over his numbed flesh.

As the frozen grounds continued to signal that spring was near, Harry felt lost.

Lost and as if he had lost something.

Something that was dearly important to him.

x.x.x.x

Draco took the extended hand, feeling regret build up in his chest, but knowing the love of his life would never be his. Blaise nodded as they shook their hands, a sullen, but approving look on his face.

But as the sensation to break down and let his true emotions fall became too overwhelming to bear, the sudden warmth of sunlight washed over him, brightening up the library. Looking outside, Draco noticed the sun was shining as bright as ever and somehow his spirits began to soar.

For he felt that he was making the right decision and the world was once more, somehow, returning to normal.

And with a smile, Draco began to work on his homework assignment. Feeling his heart clench at never being able to be with Harry again, but his spirits rising as he realized that he could go back to their old relationship.

And he could admire his love from afar.

The snow began to melt, and Draco felt that just like the snow, this phase in his life was disappearing.

Although he felt he needed Harry more than anything, he knew Harry would never feel the same way. This way, instead of feeling his life was going to waste, he could one day end their rivalry and maybe even become a friend…

Feeling his eyes shine with tears of letting go, Draco kept the smile on his face. Without him there, Harry could have a normal life.

Letting go of Blaise's hand was like letting go of Harry. And Draco knew as much as he didn't want to, the Gryffindor would be better off this way.

_Let me love you._

_Let me love you, and you don't have to love me back…_

_Let me love you,_

_Let me love you, and we'll both be okay._

x.x.x.x

Harry pushed the doors to the Great Hall open and his ears instantly filled with snippets of chatter and gossip as he walked down the isle towards the Gryffindor table. As soon as he sat down, however, he could tell something was different.

His eyes widened slightly when they reached the Slytherin table. No longer was Draco isolated in a corner. Instead, he was propped next to Parkinson who looked ecstatic that he was back.

Feeling his pulse quicken, Harry went back to his food, staring at the chicken with absolutely no hunger. It shouldn't have mattered to him that Draco was chatting cheerily with his friends, but it did. Something had definitely changed, and Harry felt he had lost the secretive, confusing relationship with the other boy.

And he was almost surprised to feel that it hurt.

Feeling a gaze directed at him, Harry raised his head. Instantly, his distant emerald eyes softened and melted into a flickering hot fire. Staring back at Draco, he blinked as a frown touched his tired face. With a soft sigh, he dropped his fork and stood up, knowing that everything was back to normal.

And he was almost surprised to feel that he didn't want anything to be normal. In fact, the loss that was slowly starting to consume him was unexpected, but it suddenly shifted his world. All of a sudden normal wasn't what he craved.

But Draco looked at him oddly, as if he wanted to say something but was restrained by some force he could not overcome. After a few seconds of useless staring, Harry sent a glare the Slytherin's way.

And he got one in return.

x.x.x.x

**Author's Second Ramble: **I hope you aren't too confused. There's more to be explained in further chapters! Don't you worry! One more thanks to all my reviewers. I will always reply to each and every one of you 

**RedFox13:** I really like angst too! I know I'm evil for interrupting them, but then again, it would have been even more evil to have them go further and then leave Harry even more frustrated than before! Haha, I'm glad you're always on the edge of your seat:P I'm glad you can wait, even though it was a _long_ wait. I'm really sorry! I hope you're still reading, and if you are, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And it's true! Your reviews always brighten my day. You must have that great affect on people .

**Omgxcore: **I'm glad the chapter made you smile! I really like when people comment that my writing is beautiful… It gets me all fuzzy inside.  I was really stuck on which point of view to do, so I decided on compromising and doing both, haha. I still have a lot more to explain, so I know you're probably confused, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway! I'm sorry for the long wait, and thank you verrry much for reviewing!

**BlackNeonTears: **Aww, I know. It's still a bit sad, but I'm going to fix that soon! Don't worry. And an excellent writer? That's very nice of you to say! Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 

**theTigersFire: **I basically twisted it up so bad on the fourth try that I think my tongue literally twisted, haha. I miss the 'bitey back' Draco, and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I hope you feel the same about this one!

**THE T0BEY-MEiSTER: **Ahh, forgetting to reply to a reviewer is probably the most horrible thing a writer can do. I send a thousand and one apologies! I'm sorry you felt left out! I don't like guns! But If I don't put them back together by the end of this story, I'd probably make you pull that trigger! Aww, I'm sorry I'm making you depressed  Just sit tight! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Manny2003: **Hmm, maybe ;) Hahaha, that seriously made me laugh. Thanks so much for the review (and making me laugh)… You're lovely.

**SBR: **Hope is a wonderful thing! Yes, only a few chapters left, but there really isn't a point to continuing the story when all the conflict is over. I'll miss this story too, as it has consumed a lot of my fanfiction writing time. And I know exactly what you mean! The seventh book… I'm going to be sobbing on the floor, I swear. Harry Potter has been such an incredible part of my life. I'm sorry the update wasn't soon! But I do hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**Green-eyed Dragon: **He better realize it soon! For sure. When I think of Draco I think of hopelessness and confusion. And then of course, like the Pansy moment, determination and pride. Thanks for your review! And, sorry for the wait 

**Dark Angel Kira: **Haha! Another review that makes me chuckle! I'm sorry for the wait, I know the chapter wasn't updated soon, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Thanks for the review!

**Fallen-Angel-Of-Repression: **I'm glad! I know that a lot of authors have chapters that are pages and pages long, and believe me, I've tried that. But sometimes- Sometimes I can't help but end it, because it leaves me feeling content with the chapter. The most amazing review I can ever get is when my writing is compared to that of a poet's. I've always loved poetry of all kind, and have been trying to complete some of my own, so that was wonderful what you said. The other chapter was updated pretty fast, and I'm sorry this one took near forever. I hope you're still reading this, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! (And yes, Sexy Dragons indeed, haha)

**Anux: **Haha, aww. It's not my mission, no, but it actually does make me feel as if my story is having an emotional effect on you, which actually makes me happier. And I hope this chapter was enjoyable, although not updated quickly. 

**Suckers love: **Aww, thank you. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, and I hope you have a good evening too!

**Night whispers: **Haha, that's an interesting word to come up with. I'm sorry the chapter was confusing, and I hope the rest were alright!

**Edwards-Ebed: **Aww, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! I know that I'm not quick at updating but I hope that you read this one as well. It might not be as good and not provoke the same emotions, but I do hope you enjoy it. And your review made me laugh! Heh, It was terribly cute.

**TheDevilsSeductress: **Ohh, I didn't mean to be mean! I'm sorry you're confused, and I hope things are cleared up in future chapters. I am continuing, although it took a while! And thanks for your review 

**Draco'sGirlForAlways**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! I did make that up! I'm trying to carry the same theme throughout the whole story, so some things might be repeated in a way. And thanks for the imagination compliment. I've always thought mine was a little bland, so you really made me happy . And thank you, as well, for the poet comment. I adore you!

**Jewely: **I'm glad you liked it! As for the remembering bit- Only time can tell! I'm not sure I even know myself, haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**SaintEmo: **Thank you! Emotions are hard to grasp when they're so broken and when the characters are so confused. I don't think I've ever pictured Harry as the grudge holder, and he's still confused about his feelings towards Draco. Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that the wait wasn't too frustrating. :-\

**Dark Angel's Blue Fire: **I'm glad you love it! I hope you enjoyed this one too! Even though it took a while to update… 

**Miriam Mrirund: **That's no problem! The reviewing is nice, but the reading is more important  And yes, something's certainly happening to Harry. I'm sorry the update wasn't soon, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**AloraBraken: **I'm glad you liked it! And yes, a bit more angst, but soon it'll all be over  And maybe they will kiss. I'm glad I'm bringing out some emotion, but I'm sorry for bringing the tears to your eyes! And yes! I have read the book, haha. This chapter is a bit of both point of views, I hope you liked it!

**Oliver1234: **Thank you very much! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and sorry for the wait!

**Aquilus: **I hope you enjoyed all the chapters after that one! And I also hope your questions were answered! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and if you've gotten to this chapter, I hope you liked it! Sorry for the wait!

**Makalani Astral: **I'm extremely happy that it was less confusing! I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing either! I hope you liked it!

**WritersPassion25: **Haha, it's no big deal. I'm just glad you've taken the time to read the chapters! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters before! Sometimes its hard to incorporate the fluff into chapters where the angst is at such great amounts, but I'm glad it was almost fluffy! I'm trying to make my chapters at least an OK length, to the point where hopefully they aren't only a few paragraphs long, heh. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you didn't mind the wait too much :-\

**DMHP: **Oh wow! A nice long review that kept me smiling the whole day! You really are too sweet  Haha, yes! And ME write the seventh book! That, right there, was the biggest compliment ever. Although JKR's got some talent that no one can compete with. At least there will always be fanfiction, heh. The Slytherin's characterization was a bit off in this chapter, but it was necessary for the chapter, and sometimes it's important to show the humans in some of them. I'm glad you adore Draco! The love concept is one of my favorites, and I really love exaggerating their love for each other until the point when they'd give up anything for the other. It's the kind of feeling that gets you all tingly inside. I hope this chapter let you into Harry's emotions just a little, even if not enough. I'm sorry the wait was horribly long! I'll try harder to keep the updates frequent, if only for reviewers that are as sweet as you. You are amazing at people feel good, you know that! 

**Memories of Pain: **Aw, thank you! Butterflies are really beautiful aren't they? I felt that it just fit in with Draco's feelings. I'm sorry the update took so long, but I hope you stuck it out and continued reading. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Pure Black: **Why thank you! I hope this chapter was fulfilling!

**Lazy to Login: **(Don't we all feel that way sometimes, haha) I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope this chapter was up to standards! Harry might be oblivious in this chapter, but I think he's more confused of what he's feeling than trying to ignore it. I'm sorry for the wait in the chapter!

**Snuffles: **Aww, it was horrible. I'm sorry… But I'm glad you somewhat enjoyed the chapter. The whole angst thing is a big part of this fic, and sometimes it can go a bit overboard, but I'm glad you're sticking it out! Thanks so much for reading, and I'm sorry for the horribly long wait!

**MoonBunny: **One hour! Either you're an incredibly fast reader or that's saying something about my chapter length, haha. But I'm glad you're enjoying them, no matter how short :P I dread the end as well, as this story has become a huge part of my life. And you're a sweetie! Thank you! Writing is definitely something I've been looking into, and it gets me all warm inside that people think I can achieve it! 

**Marmalade778: **Thanks for the compliments! I hope you've read further, and if you've read up to this chapter, I hope you're enjoying it!

**Xox-Rachelle-oxo: **Aww, thank you! It makes me happy to think that the story is actually bringing emotion to my readers. JKR might take long to write the book, but I'm not sure I could ever compete with her. Thank you for comparing me to her though, that's an amazing compliment, and it definitely gave me a tingly feeling 

**SilverDragon63: **Thank you for the review! I hope this chapter let you in a little to what Harry was feeling. Writing his feelings was something of a roadblock to this chapter, and I hope I succeeded, if only a little!

**ConfusedHeart: **Aww, thank you! You're making me blush! I swear, I haven't felt so red in… 4 months at least, haha. (Probably since your last review) I'm sorry that I kept you waiting so long, and even longer with this huge gap in updating. But, I hope you're still reading and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter even half as much as the last 

**Nightscanr3: **You live in New York! That must be exciting. And party harder, haha, of course. And yes! There are very, very few times when I will just abandon a story. When I feel too frustrated to continue, I usually write a few one shots in order to get my writing back on track. And you've been with me that long! I'm sorry for the frequent writer's block… Sometimes, even for a writer, it's hard to find words. And I'm very delighted you understand. It gets me worried that sometimes I lose readers to my lack of updating, and I know how it is to read a story and forget about it, no matter how enjoyable it was, because of the huge gaps in updating. So for that, I am very grateful! Haha, and no. The world is never normal, and that's exactly what I'm trying to build. Draco and Harry's ideas of normal are so warped up that they're forgetting to keep what's important to them close to their hearts because normal is what they want to feel. (If you can even understand that the least bit, heh.) I hope some of your questions were answered in this chapter. They are part wishful thinking and a bit of Harry letting go and letting his feelings envelope him. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I also hope the wait wasn't too long! Thanks so much for the review 

**Dante's Bianca: **Aw, thanks! I love new readers!  I'm sorry that the update took so long, I know, I'm horrible at it. And it's not your native tongue? Languages are wonderful things- What is it that you speak? I hope you liked the chapter! Sorry, again, for the wait!

**LenJade: **Thanks! Haha, aww. I'm sorry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that your heart isn't pulp :P I'm really sorry for the lack of updating, but I do hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks so much for your review!

**Alexlee: **Oh, I'm glad you've read it! Reviewers are important, but a story is for reading  Yes, I know… My chapters are unbearably short sometimes… and updates like this one… Gah, way too long. I'm very sorry! Passion Ablaze. You wont believe how many ideas I have for that fic! I'm going to start writing it after I post this chapter! I'm glad you're reading and enjoying both! Thanks for the reviews, and once again, sorry for the wait :-\

**LiLy MalfOy13: **Aw thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Mebear: **I'm glad you're enjoying it! Although this chapter wasn't updated soon, I hope you liked it, and hopefully, remembered what happened in the last. The boys will be out of their misery soon! Don't you worry  Thanks for the review!

**TabbyMogpuss: **Yes! The angst was a little less 'in your face' this chapter. Nah, not a bimbo. Even as I wrote it, I could tell it would answer questions but yet evoke even more, haha. I'm glad you love it! I hope you like this chapter as well! Thank you for reading!

**Silver Emerald Eyes: **Haha , yeah. School's grown on me. I didn't reach my goal of finishing in the summer. In fact, it's almost winter. How horrible of me . I hate being horrible at updating. Shopping and beaches does sound fun! My summer was not bad, no vacations but I did get a bit of shopping done, haha. And yes, school started in September, and it's already November. So I'm a few months in, but you're already near half done! Aww, school does do that… But it's nice having something to read/write in your spare time. I'm glad you liked the chapter! I hope you enjoy this one as well! And even if it doesn't answer all your questions, I hope, at least, it managed to answer a few. And yes! I think I've read that one fic. It was quite sweet, actually. I should go find it again! Thanks so much for the review, it cheered me up and kept me smiling all day 

**Itsasledgehammer: **Ahh, I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update! I have a feeling I took a long time to update on the worst chapter. I'm sorry! I hope the chapter was at least a bit satisfying, or good enough to stop the pouting . I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review 

**Natnetnot2000: **Aw, thank you! I'm sorry the update wasn't soon, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**BlackHeartFire: **Amazing? Thank you! You're too sweet :P Aww, made you cry? I'm actually glad that I brought out that emotion… but I'll fix the crying soon! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm really really sorry for the terribly long wait :-\

**Foreverobsidian: **Aw, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the angst and I'm sorry that the update wasn't soon. I do hope that you liked this chapter though!

**Fataly-yours-xx: **Thank you so much! Sometimes, when writing, I feel like I'm lacking the description or something just as important. For instance, throughout this chapter, I felt like my writing was horribly dull, so when I get compliments like yours, it really does make me feel a lot better about my writing. Thanks for reading, and I hope you like this chapter and all chapters to come!

**Skimmie: **Thanks for the review, and I'm pleased to hear you're enjoying the story! I'm sorry the update wasn't soon, but I hope you liked the chapter!

**Tachel Black: **Nope! I haven't given up, even though it might seem like I have! I don't mean for the gaps between updating to be so long, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm sorry it's taken so long! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and enjoy the chapters all the way to the end!

**C.F.Evangel: **Thanks! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry for the wait.

**Deaths-seduction: **Thanks for the correction! I hope you're still reading and have read any further chapters 

**Thanks so much to all my reviewers. I truly love you all to death!**

**Shadow xox**


	19. Blissful Ignorance is my Sanctuary

**Authors Note:** The only beginning note I have for this chapter is that I'm very, very sorry for keeping you waiting. I am horrible at updating with reasonable timings, but I can't help it! I am feeling myself overwhelmed with school, work and whatnot! But I will always find time in my hectic schedule to dedicate to this fic and to all of you who read it. Thank you so very much! Love and hugs to you!

I have decided for this to be the absolute last chapter. (other than the epilogue) After this one, there will be no reason to continue the story. The epilogue will conclude everything, and I'm sure I'll finish this chapter and the Epilogue before February is over! Hopefully sooner. Well, here is the last chapter. I really do hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen: **BlissfulIgnorance is my Sanctuary

x.x.x.x

Harry sat alone in the Gryffindor Common Room, his eyes gazing at the flickering flames of the golden fire. With a soft sigh, he looked away, his eyelids shutting, covering the dim emerald orbs.

Winter was over, it was already the end of February and Harry's life had become a repetitive mess. Hogwarts had lost its liveliness in the midst of the war, instead becoming a grey pit of mourning emotions. It was as if Hogwarts itself had lost its soul.

Fingering the embroidery on the amber blanket that stretched over him, Harry began to think about his past years at Hogwarts. He had always been carefree, but not like the others. He had always had a stone weighing down his heart…

Sighing, Harry lifted himself off the cushiony armchair and walked towards the window where mild frost lingered. It was as if the frost that marked the window was a stubborn hint of winter, one of Harry's reminders that wouldn't leave him alone.

It was constant.

Leaning his head against the window, the Gryffindor watched as the stars shined on the castle grounds.

And all Harry could think of was Draco Malfoy.

x.x.x.x

"Mr. Potter, I do believe daydreaming is not part of the procedure for his particular potion."

Harry awoke from his reverie, his eyes clouded with exhaustion. He very slowly let his arms uncover his raven matted head and stared at Snape intently.

"Sorry, Professor."

Severus Snape looked down his nose at the Gryffindor before walking away, muttering a low "10 points from Gryffindor" as he did so.

Harry's eyes fluttered to the Slytherin section of the classroom. His eyes scanned cauldrons and students until he found the certain blonde he was looking for. Just as always, he found the icy stare gazing back at him.

Though, it wasn't a friendly practice, the slight acknowledgements they made of each other. Every couple of days, one of the two would find them staring at the other, quickly shaking themselves from the confusing dreams that had somehow captivated them.

However, as every look, every tiny watch, started, it was always finished the same: With an arrogant sneer or deadly glare.

Just as always, like a certain tradition taking place, Draco sneered slightly at the raven-haired boy and said boy found himself doing something equally as polite back.

Then they both went back to their tasks at hand.

It had been a month and some days since Draco Malfoy had returned to his beloved Slytherin. In that time span, Harry had found himself drift steadily away from his friends, eating less and spending dozens of nights just staring at the burning ashes of the Gryffindor fires.

He had found himself wondering about the Slytherin .Thinking about him constantly…Almost obsessed.

But to be obsessed with one like Draco Malfoy was a most absurd idea.

Especially for Harry Potter.

The days continued and Harry became more and more distant from his circle of friends as Draco gradually became closer with his.

And even so, the light stares and the wondering glances, usually sent to one another in secret, continued. Almost even stronger than ever.

Then, of course, it had come to the point where Draco would stop Ron, Hermione and himself in the hallways to have a quick banter. The world couldn't have been anymore normal, what with the blonde Slytherin picking useless fights and Harry standing up for what he believed in.

Only to be followed by something of a quick fist fight, or Draco Malfoy walking away haughtily.

Harry was beginning to think that maybe it was time to phase Draco out of his life, stop the curious glimpses of one another and move on from the childish rivalry they had with each other.

Just as the snow was beginning to melt.

And Harry was the kind of person who knew when something remarkable was over.

Unhurriedly retrieving the ingredients for the potion, Harry glanced quickly at the clock that was ticking away slowly.

x.x.x.x

"You spend too much time here."

Harry's vision slowly met, with much surprise, a blonde head looking back at him. With a frown, he turned back to the calming waters of the lake as the trees of the forest on either side reflected into the chilly, mysterious, inky well.

"And how exactly do you know that?"

Draco seemed to consider what Harry said before sitting down beside him, much to Harry's discomfort.

"There are many other places to go, Malfoy, many other people to _grace_ with your presence."

The Slytherin stared at the lake for a moment before shrugging. "I like it here, Potty."

Feeling himself burn with rage at the old nickname, and the unfortunate reminder of Peeves, Harry stood up abruptly, brushing his slacks off and gathering his cloak.

"Leaving already? I'd never have thought that you'd surrender your haven so easily." Draco's voice was smooth, taunting and curious.

Feeling the bubble of rage slowly expand within his chest, Harry grabbed his wand from his pocket and flicked his wrist so the slender piece of wood was aiming straight at Draco with perfect precision.

"I don't want to hear it, Malfoy."

The Slytherin's lips pressed together tightly as he stood up, his eye carefully watching the wand.

"Don't blame _me_ just because _you've_ changed, _Potty._"

Harry's eyebrows narrowed. "I haven't changed." The lie escaped his lips easily.

Malfoy took a step forward, his eyes landing on the wand once more. "Lies are easy to tell, Harry. I've told many myself."

Harry's eyes widened slightly at hearing his name.

"You remember, don't you?"

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Harry took a step back. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, of course you don't remember, but you must be feeling something…" Draco said slowly, almost as if he were talking to himself. Then, he took another step forward and Harry was reluctant to move.

Finally being close enough, Draco straightened his arm and pushed Harry's arm back, the wand now pointing to the ground beneath them. Then, with hesitant movements, he let his fingers slip the Gryffindor's glasses off his nose.

"Feeling something, _anything_…"

Harry's throat suddenly felt very dry, and just as he was about to push the blonde away he felt soft lips descend upon his own.

Shock numbed Harry's body as the flesh of Draco's lips moved against his own rather inexperienced ones. A slow, familiar, heat trembled through his veins as the Slytherin's tongue gently lingered against Harry's lips, which opened almost on their own accord.

Tentatively, a pale hand moved to cup rosy cheeks, which continued to gradually grow pinker as the slow, tender kiss continued. Draco's tongue continued to move against Harry's, and an unexpected rush of emotion settled itself in the pit of his stomach.

The only one that Harry could uncover was desperation.

It was then the Gryffindor let his arms entangle Draco's neck as the tips of his fingers slowly entwined the hair at the base of the pale neck. Feeling Draco's nose touch his own slightly, Harry made a soft sound deep within his throat, his fingers thrusting into the warm roots of the Slytherin's hair.

Draco's mouth moved faster against the raven-haired boy's as their tongues collided and the smooth hand that rested only moments before on Harry's soft cheek was slowly making it's way towards his warm neck.

Breaking apart the kiss, Draco stared at Harry, his usually pale skin decorated with an appealing pink. He was panting loudly, his warm breath fluttering across Harry's face. A slender arm encircled the Gryffindor's waist as affectionate, tender lips leisurely met his once more. Letting his fingers trail slowly along Harry's hip, Draco felt a gentle hand make its way across his back and he continued to desperately devour the boy against him.

Almost as if just realizing what was happening, Harry pushed himself off the blonde and moved a few steps back. His eyes were wide and quick breaths were escaping from his mouth. Looking near-furious, he turned around and began to run towards the castle, tripping slightly over the roots of a tree.

Draco let himself slide to the ground, his lips numb with the feel of Harry, his body still tingling with Harry's lingering touches, and his heart still heavy with love that belonged to Harry.

x.x.x.x

With a soft sigh, Harry turned towards his potions homework, his fingers delicately picking up his quill. They trembled as he slowly began to write, his letters messy and splattered against the parchment clumsily.

Dropping his quill he leaned back on his chair, his head pounding vigorously. Hesitantly, Harry let his fingers brush against his lips before closing his eyes almost painfully. Feeling he could no longer concentrate on homework, as something was preoccupying his mind, or rather _someone_, the brunette threw his work on the floor and lay on his bed tiredly.

"_You remember, don't you?"_

Harry's eyes flickered closed and his breath came out in a soft, shallow pattern.

"_Well, of course you don't remember, but you must be feeling something…"_

Following the soft breathing, Harry's heart thudded in a similar pattern.

""_Feeling something, _anything_…"_

Oblivious to the sleeping Gryffindor, a small smile placed itself on his lips.

x.x.x.x

_Why am I so confused?_ Harry thought sullenly, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Lips. Harry's eyes reached the ceiling as he realized just why he was so confused. Draco's lips, although comforting and warm, did not belong on his own.

But there was certainly one thing he couldn't deny…

He had felt _something._ In fact, that _something_ was so strong, it left him breathless.

Left him feeling as though he _did _belong in Draco's arms…

On his lips.

"Harry?"

The Gryffindor let his emerald eyes wander to the girls staircase, where Hermione's soft voice echoed off the decorated walls.

"G'morning, Hermione." He said in a monotone voice, his head drooping back to stare at the palms of his hands.

"You're up early," she said, her voice carrying a false cheeriness. "Though Ron isn't, of course." She smiled, her eyes carrying something akin to pity.

"Mm. Yeah… Nice day outside."

Hermione looked briefly out the window, the bright sun sending shards of jagged light through the thick glass, casting a shadow of light around her friend.

"It is."

A comfortable silence enveloped them as Hermione sat next to him on the loveseat, propping her elbow on the desk as she did some quick calculations on one of her arithmancy equations. Her face was in a deep frown, reflecting full concentration on her work as her bushy hair framed her adolescent face. She was constant, Harry thought immediately, one thing that wouldn't change in his life.

Unlike his so-called enemy.

Feeling a mild tingle in his lips once more, Harry turned towards the window, his eyes squinting at the burning rays of sunlight that attacked his eyes. A nice day it was, indeed.

"Hermione, I have a question." He said suddenly, turning his searching eyes towards his companion, watching her through the sharp ends of his hair that landed uncomfortably in his eyes.

The intelligent witch glanced at Harry through her pleasant brown eyes and sent him a questioning look. Letting his fingers brush against his fringe, he felt his vision clear and a surge of bravery leapt through his chest, telling him to ask the question he didn't want to know the answer to.

"What was I like," he paused, watching Hermione's face for any sign of confusion. Of course, there wasn't any.

"What was I like _before_ I regained my memory?"

Hermione let out a sigh, her eyes watering slightly as she remembered the shell her friend had reduced himself to. She quickly swiped a hand at her eyes, her lips forming a wavering smile.

"That bad, huh?" Harry asked, seeing his friend's obvious distressed state.

"No-no…" Her eyes, still moist, found Harry's and she let out a breath she had been holding. "You hadn't remembered any of us, of course. The only thing you did remember was the war- slight fragments of memories. Those same memories had reduced you into only the skin of your former self. You weren't Harry; you were scared, helpless and felt alone. Though… maybe not so much alone," her eyes bore into Harry as if she was willing him to tell her his deepest secrets.

Harry caught the look and felt his head fog up with confusion, a puzzled look on his face. Hermione sighed and turned around completely, facing her friend and taking his hands in hers.

"Do you not remember anything, Harry, Nothing at all?"

Harry watched Hermione's eyes that willed him to remember. Slowly he let his hands grip hers slightly as his gaze fell to the floor. "I do. I remember _feelings_."

Hermione looked ecstatic as she nodded enthusiastically. "Feelings." She said knowingly, biting her lip. "Do you know for what? For _whom_?"

There was a long silence before Harry mustered up the courage to tell the witch in front of him who exactly had left him so confused. "You won't ever believe this, but," looking once more at Hermione, Harry sighed. "Malfoy!"

Hermione flinched slightly at the shouted name that reached her ears. The room echoed with the name as Harry's chest heaved with frustrated breaths.

"Draco."

Harry's glower was replaced by a look of bafflement. Watching Hermione, he let his hands fall out of hers as he looked at the wise eyes that observed him so intently.

"Harry, listen to me. _Something_ happened to you and Draco over the Christmas break. You had stayed with him over the vacation," Hermione held up a hand to stop Harry's indignant comments, "Ron and I, regrettably, could not."

The raven-haired boy noted the sincere regret in her voice, so let the matter drop. He slowly reached a hand to fumble clumsily with his messy hair. "I stayed with him…"

A feeling, one like nothing he had ever felt, enveloped his chest and he let out a long breath. "I stayed with him?" He repeated.

"You stayed with him," Hermione confirmed, her eyes watching his. "Something changed then, Harry. Something big- Don't you remember how strange he was acting when we saw him only few months ago! When you were in the infirmary regaining your conscious after you recollected your memory, Draco approached Ron and me… He was worried about you."

Harry's eyes watered, and he turned away from Hermione, wiping them slightly. "But- but _why_?"

Hermione's eyes reflected only sympathy as he stared into them. A startled noise reached them and they looked to find Ron walking down the staircase. Hermione sent him a knowing look and he turned to Harry worriedly.

"That's for you to find out, mate." Ron said softly, his eyes locking with Hermione's.

Harry watched his friends, grateful for their presence in his life, and slowly nodded in their direction before grabbing his bag and running towards the portrait.

Before leaving, however, he sent an appreciative glance towards the duet behind him.

And a gentle, "Thank you."

x.x.x.x

Dumbledore looked at the boy he had grown to love like a son with complete shock, a look that did not become of the old headmaster at all.

Harry watched his professor with a sad smile that had placed itself upon his forever tingling lips. "Please understand, professor," he said softly. "I _have_ to do this."

"But Harry, you do realize that you will remember nothing once more!" The old man stared at his favorite student with a puzzled frown. "Your life, everything you have ever achieved will be locked away."

Harry looked wistfully out the window, watching the sun shine brightly as summer approached the castle. "No, professor," he said, his voice containing a hope that Dumbledore had not heard for a very long time. "No, I will remember _everything_."

It was then Dumbledore knew Harry needed his mentor no longer. Now he needed someone who understood, someone who let him decide his matters himself. Right now, he needed something he had never been given. A wish that had never been granted.

Freedom.

Feeling himself start to understand, Dumbledore allowed himself a small smile and perched his fingers delicately on his desk. "Wisdom is something that hardly anyone ever allows themselves to have; usually ignorance is what most turn to," he stopped mid-sentence, a twinkle showing itself in his bright-blue eyes. "I'm happy to say I taught you well, Harry, for ignorance and wisdom has both left you and you're left with only the slight delusion of _love_. A power that is more valuable than the mind which knows everything _and_ the mind which refuses to know anything. Always let your love guide you, it will always lead you in the right direction.

Just remember, Harry, that you cannot reclaim your memory ever again. The pensieve will be of no use to you any longer. One day you will regain your full memory, my boy, but that may not be for a _very_ long time."

And with Harry's understanding nod, Dumbledore took the velvet covering off his pensieve and allowed the puzzled Harry to relive the most important moment of his life.

Not the short moments he had spent with his parents.

Not the lively moments spent with his best friends.

Not the soaring moments filled with Sirius' haunting memory.

Not the moment that declared the defeat of Voldemort.

The moments filled of love.

Those wonderful moments filled with Draco.

x.x.x.x

The infirmary was something Harry was used to waking up to, so when he noticed the familiar ceilings and furnishings of the hospital room, Harry allowed himself a gloomy smile.

As he stepped off the mattress and onto the stone floor, he looked beside him, wondering what he had done this time to have ended up in the peaceful infirmary. It was then he noticed another presence in the room, his heart lifted at the thought of seeing Draco perched up beside him.

Instead he saw the old headmaster whom he had learned to respect.

"Ah, Harry! You're awake." He stated while a small smile formed on his lips.

Harry nodded, his eyes scanning the room wistfully, looking for those gorgeous platinum locks of hair.

Dumbledore knew that Harry had forgotten once more, and looked sadly at the window. It was then another shocked expression overtook his solemn one. Harry followed his gaze and noticed nothing peculiar about the fresh snow falling down towards the floor in large heaps. He shivered slightly and wondered why on earth he was wearing only his boxers and a large shirt.

"Harry!"

The boy looked towards the door where Ron was wearing a wrinkled jacket and earmuffs. "It's snowing! Thought we wouldn't see this till next year!" He said cheerfully, tossing Harry his winter garments.

Sending a confused glance towards the boy who called himself Harry's best friend, Harry walked timidly to the door after Dumbledore's slight nod.

Suddenly excited to play in the snow that reminded him so much of the one he loved, Harry ran out the door with a slight laugh, leaving Dumbledore and Ron with thrilled expressions on their faces.

"Making good improvement, isn't he?" Ron said, more to himself than anything.

Dumbledore smiled at his student, taking a seat on the previously occupied bed.

"He is. I especially like the way his eyes have begun twinkle."

x.x.x.x

**The End.**

Please watch out for the Epilogue, where most questions will (hopefully) be answered!

I will send review replies over the nifty new reply button, and send emails to those who have left one. For those who did not leave an email, I want to thank you for reading and reviewing, your replies are at the bottom:)

**-x-Rachelle-o-: **I'm sorry you almost forgot about this fic, I know I'm terrible with updating:\, but I hope you can forgive me. I also hope you enjoyed the last chapter! They _did_ end up together (I wouldn't have it any other way, haha.) But thank you so much for reading and sticking by my horrible update schedule. I hope you enjoyed the fic in all, and have time to read the Epilogue (which will be out very soon, I'm sure of it!)

**Juniper: **Thanks for taking the time to review! I, myself, read many stories on ff . net and am not as frequent a review as I'd like to be. I'm just happy that you are reading the story and enjoying it:) Here is the happy ending I promised since the beginning! Although it may not seem so fairy-tale-ish at the moment, the Epilogue will be posted in a few weeks time and there, I hope, it will reach your expectations for the end of the fic! I'm flattered that you call this one of the best angst fics you have read, it really does make me feel appreciated as a writer and I'm just glad I'm writing something you take pleasure in, if only for a little while. I hope you enjoyed this update, although it's a bit late.

**James's: **Aw, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Hopefully, now, it's a bit more sweet than bitter! Thank you for reading the fic, and I'm very glad you enjoyed it! Please stay tuned for the Epilogue, which I hope you will also enjoy!

**Nony: **Brilliant? Do you think so? I've always thought my work couldn't even be compared to some of the more exquisite writers out there, and I'm glad you think so! It makes glad to know that you're enjoying it :) Thanks for reviewing and reading, I hope you enjoyed the fic!

**JOANNE: **Aw, thanks! I hope you were hooked enough to stay with me through all my horrible updating! I also hope you enjoyed the fic and have no disappointments! Thanks so much for the review, and I hope your further questions are answered in the Epilogue!

**All the rest of the review replies will be emailed! Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story! It has become a big part of me, since it took so long to complete… Although I'm sad to see it finish, I'm also happy that I've reached the end. A part of me has loved the experience of this fic, but another part of me can't wait to start another amazing writing adventure!**

**I hope you enjoyed the ending, and I also hope you will read the Epilogue, which should be posted soon!**

**I love you all! Thanks for reading; it means a lot to me. **

**Love always,**

**Shadow.**

x.x.x.x


	20. Epilogue

_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done_

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up

_  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_

- Snow Patrol / Run

**Epilogue.**

Draco sat on his bench, swinging his legs lazily as a cold wind swept up against his figure. Smiling bitterly to himself, he continued to drag the swinging bench along, drawing the snow into a small pile in front of him. With a long sigh, he leaned his head back against the solid wood and stared at the moon, his eyes twinkling with unshed tears.

He missed Harry… He missed Harry to the point where nothing even mattered anymore.

Shrugging himself deeper inside his cloak, he let out a huff of breath, watching as the fog swarmed in the sky for a minute before disappearing. He was going to leave—Hogwarts had no place for him.

After the war, and his parents' death, he had escaped behind the castle walls. In a way, they seemed to sulk just as he did and comforted him along with each professor's support. But he had to grow up… see that hiding behind a safe refuge wasn't for him.

He had lost Harry; there was nothing else to lose. Nothing to live for… Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Draco decided there was nothing to stay for at Hogwarts.

Leaves skittered across his vision, and he smiled ruefully to himself. This had been the place where he had experienced his last happy moment… The place where Harry had almost seemed to remember him…

Swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, Draco shook his head. Harry was better off now, with his Gryffindor friends and his in-tact memory. No messed-up Slytherin to deal with… No broken love, forbidden kisses… Warm embraces that seemed to ignite every nerve in his body to the point where he was a quivering mess, calling out Harry's name…

Draco snapped out of his reverie, shaking his head. A slow, humorless smile appeared on his face. Yes, Harry was much better without him—Though, he was definitely not at all okay without Harry.

He wouldn't let that stand in the way of Harry's normal life, however. He had already begun to confuse the boy enough, already tried his hardest to make him remember…

Forcing himself not to shed another tear, Draco pulled himself up off the bench and shuffled through the snow, trying to push a small pleading, warm voice to the back of his head. Soft, fiery touches… sweet, passionate kisses… hushed, whispering secrets… sweet, loving laughter…

All that had to go.

Shrinking his luggage, he took a deep breath and walked away from the castle. His train left in forty minutes.

x.x.x.x

Hermione stared at Dumbledore for a long moment, her eyes narrowed. "This isn't fair to Harry."

Dumbledore sighed, creating a tent with his fingers as he stared at the bushy-haired girl intently. "It isn't. Draco Malfoy is long gone however… The house-elves told me his things have been gone for a week now."

Ron's teeth clenched, as he sent a look at the hospital bed, where Harry lay sleeping soundly. "That _coward_," he cried, standing up abruptly, as if to find Draco Malfoy himself. "He just left without a word to us? To _Harry_?"

Hermione was silent before looking at Ron, "No. He had no idea what Harry had done for him, Ron. This isn't his fault… He probably thought he was better off leaving Harry. In fact, if Harry hadn't done what he did, it probably would have been for the best." She said, knowing Ron would agree.

The tips of the boy's ears went red, though he had nothing to say.

Dumbledore nodded gravely, a sigh escaping his lips. "We can't let Harry think Draco abandoned him, it'll be too much for his mental stability."

Hermione laid wide-eyes on Dumbledore, shaking her head. "That' isn't _fair_. He deserves to know… He'll remember Draco anyway—"

Dumbledore sent the two children in his office a piercing gaze. "He'll need to believe it wasn't real, Miss. Granger. If he thinks Draco did abandon him—which he will, as you know that he doesn't remember ever regaining his full memory—then that could cause him to lose all hope he carries. At least this way, he'll think it never happened, have you two to help him cope." The man's voice faltered, as if he regretted this decision as much as the couple standing in front of him.

Ron and Hermione looked at each other, both lost and unsure of what to do. "Then-then we tell him it was all a dream?" Ron stuttered, looking at Harry with a sympathetic expression. It really wasn't fair, he decided.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. Harry knows he had been sleeping for quite a while, and with the potions we had been feeding him… We can pass it off as an after-effect—"

"No!" Hermione said finally, tears leaving her eyes. "How can Ron and I live, hiding such an important thing from him…" She looked at Ron, tears streaking her cheeks. Her friend, the savior of the entire world… How could this happen to him? "Can't we at least give him back his memories, like-like before?"

Dumbledore locked gazes with the girl, shaking his head. "Anymore playing with his memories and I'm afraid we'll just cause more damage in his mind. If he knows Draco actually exists, but left him with no recollection of the past few months, or _why_, he will fall into an even worse depression."

Hermione looked away, her grip on Ron's arm tightening. It was then they knew they had no other choice.

x.x.x.x

Harry lay on the grass near the lake and stared at the cloudless sky the day before they were leaving for the Hogwart's express to take them back to their homes. Harry had grown very much stable in the past few months, and although he still carried a great depressed air wherever he went, he was speaking.

And Ron and Hermione couldn't ask for much more.

Playing with a lock of raven hair, he averted his gaze. It was then a voice startled him and Harry saw Ron approaching him with a small smile.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked softly, as if anything louder would somehow break Harry, before lying down next to him.

"Draco." Harry said instantly, shortly. He always seemed to stop progressing when he thought of Draco, and instead throwing himself into an impossible depression once more.

"Hmm," Ron said, shifting slightly to face Harry. "I can understand why you want to hold onto him… But, you have more important things to worry about, like what you're going to do now that's school's over. I mean, Hermione certainly won't let you laze around in that new flat of yours all day."

Harry hummed, turning away from Ron. It had seemed _so real_. Every touch… every kiss. It was as if every word his fantasy had said to him was real, replaying in his mind over, and over.

And over.

He closed his eyes shut, before forcing himself to turn back around. "I guess so," he finally said, his voice distant and his glasses slipping off his nose slightly as he opened his eyes once more.

Ron's smile faltered and he patted Harry lightly on the arm before standing up and stretching out an arm for Harry to grab hold of as he hoisted him up. "Seven years of Hogwarts, and now it's over." He said, somewhat sadly.

Harry only gazed at the castle forlornly, before walking back without Ron.

Ron swallowed and looked away, walking slowly behind him.

x.x.x.x

The Hogwart's Express gave a final whistle before it started to move. Harry sat alone in a compartment, staring out the window and letting his fingers graze the pane of glass adoringly.

With a soft smile, he watched as the trees sped by him before leaning his head back against his head rest.

His eyes closed slowly, and soon he found himself drifting into a deep slumber. He loved sleeping, however…

For his dreams always seemed to be filled with a silver-haired man, who would wrap comforting arms around him and whisper over and over to him, lips brushing softly against his ears.

"I love you Harry. Always."

_Always._

x.x.x.x

**AN: **You all hate me for ending it this way. I know… But there is a reason I did. For, you see…

**I will be writing a _sequel_!**

So don't fret, loves! I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it—and loved it enough to stay with me for another long journey with the sequel.

Love and hugs to everyone!

Shadow.


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